Day 76 ❦ Thank someone with a gift

Day 76 ❦ Thank someone with a gift

The Gift: An African Skirt and Matching Jewelry

Have you ever had someone come into your life fleetingly who in the end made a life changing impact? So many of the people who have come in and out of my life have changed me in a myriad of ways, I can’t imagine what I would be like without each and every person’s influence.

As a child many of the adults I relied on and who surrounded me were not kind nor caring and I have grown to appreciate the lessons I learned as a result of their influence. They helped me build character, compassion and resilience and I know that I am the person that I am today because of those lessons. They helped me identify and connect with those angels who came into my life early and who helped me live through some very dark times - I am the person I am today as a result of their influence. I am alive today because of their care.

As an adult, I am continually amazed at the number of people who on a regular basis influence and change my life dramatically and impact me in ways that they will never know and today I am going to thank one of those important people who came into my life for a brief moment and changed thousands of lives as a result.

I grew up with an itch to travel. My grandparents would go on trip and I would be one of the few grandchildren who would willingly sit and look at every single slide they had to show of their travels and adventures, over and over, and over, and over again. My Uncle and his friends loved to travel and he sponsored my family to come to New York City to see him off when he went on a cruise on the Queen Elizabeth II (I believe it was the QEII’s final voyage). It was magical to ride in a carriage around Central Park, go into FAO Schwartz’s and my favorite magical memory of that trip was going into his stateroom with him for the first time and seeing his luggage already there, ready to be unpacked and meeting the gentleman who was waiting for him so that he could unpack his luggage. To this day, I fantasize about traveling that way, although I come pretty close when I get to hire a driver for my trips to Africa, okay, that is another story. But actually, this story is about the person who selected me for my first trip to West Africa, Karin Treiber.

Inspired by the travelers in my family, at a very young age, I would get on a bus and go downtown (actually singing that famous song, “Downtown”). I loved seeing where it would take me and my favorite memory was that one of the routes I loved to take took my by a Planter’s peanut shop where I could stop and get a bag of warm peanuts, salty and delicious...I can still taste them today. I did get in trouble one time when I thought it would be fun to go to Boston and got there at the end of the Boston riots in the 70's. Then I discovered trains and realized that they could take me places faster and expand my adventure horizon - allowing me to slip out of school on Wednesdays, get to NYC in time to buy a half price matinee ticket to anything, and get back in time to not be missed at home. Washington DC, NYC, the world began to open up for me.

My Grandfather was one of my biggest supporters and when I graduated from High School gave me $500 and told me to “go have an adventure” I bought a plane ticket to England where I spent three weeks, mostly alone having all kinds of adventures. My first international plane ride. Lots of lessons learned.

In 2003 I was selected to be a Rotary Group Study Exchange Team Leader, which meant that I was going to be leading a team of four young professional non-Rotarians to Ghana, Togo and Benin for five and a half weeks to live, work and interact with Rotarians in those countries to build goodwill and fellowship, develop international friendship and study alternative vocational methodologies and strategies. Our experience was beyond words and my team was the best, and although most GSE Team Leaders say that, I really mean it; they continue to be the best GSE Team ever. Karin Treiber was the GSE Chair who was responsible for helping us prepare for the experience. During the training, she gave me the name of a Rotarian in California who had recently traveled in Ghana and Karin thought connecting with her might be useful. The day Karin gave me that phone number, thousands of lives were about to be impacted.

I did connect with Kay Bliss from Ojai, California at Karin’s request and Kay shared some of her passion and care for Street Girls Aid, an organization she visited while in Ghana. This story will fill another book, but all of the subsequent work that I have done at Street Girls Aid in Ghana is a direct result of Kay’s passion and Karin’s sharing a thought. Today I am honoring the impact that Karin has had on thousands of people’s lives by giving her a skirt I had made for her while In Ghana and some matching jewelry. Not even a close way to thank her, but I am also aware that even this simple thank you will overwhelm her. Her humble graciousness abounds and she will never know the impact her one action will have on thousands and thousands of people, nor will I.

❦ Today, just thank someone because you can.

Day 75 ❦ The Gift of Giving

Day 75 ❦ The Gift of Giving

THE GIFT: Giving

Today, I finally noticed that when I woke up, the first thing I thought about was, “What am I going to give today?” Now, I can’t remember how long or how many days I have been waking up thinking about giving, but today I became aware of what that felt like - to wake up being excited about something. And I found myself thinking back to the day that I decided I needed something to get me out of bed in the morning...wow, I feel like a different person...I am actually excited to see what the day holds, and more importantly, I am excited about my role in my day.

I am in charge of how I feel about my day, or at least making an intentional decision about how I am going to feel about my day, and now it seems like ages ago that I was waking up with the dread that consumed me. I can’t wait to get to my day today, I can’t wait to see what giving opportunities lay ahead, I can’t wait to see what impact I will have, or better yet, I can’t wait to make something happen and not know the impact...that is the thing that dreams are made of and I am aware that I can’t wait to get started...

Today I gave a $5 donation to leukemia that was requested by a cardboard box at the Kwik Trip counter, but I am not even considering listing that as my giving opportunity today because today I gave myself the gift of giving, the gift of purpose, the gift of dreaming again and I am a grateful receiver of that gift.
 ❦ Give yourself the gift of giving and dream

Day 74 ❦ Who knew? Just Give.

Day 74 ❦ Just Give

THE GIFT: 60 piece toolkit

Working with and for non-profits gives me daily opportunities to give of both my time and other resources. When I moved from Boulder. Colorado to Austin, Minnesota I made the conscious decision to let go of my professional aspirations and find meaningful employment - something that moved me and that I could be passionate about. There was few opportunities in Austin for women, yes - even in the 1990s, the corporate culture of the community is one that does not encourage women to work professionally outside of the home. That is an entirely different book, which I am working on. So after several years of making waves in the community, making things happen as a volunteer, and resigning my professionally paid career over - I found a non-profit that really needed the skills I had to offer.

Like many non-profits in the 1990s and on, they had risen and grown as a result of an awareness created by newly found “women’s rights” and “children’s rights of the 60's and 70's. A lot of domestic violence prevention and child abuse prevention organization rose from that time and awareness. The Parenting Resource Center, was just such an organization - a small non-profit doing lots of good in the world by well-meaning pseudo volunteers. Looking at their wages, you too, would understand what a pseudo, or “paid volunteer” is. Added to that, they had moved in the organizational life-cycle from an emerging organization through their growth stage and were needing to develop structures and an administrative infrastructure that could support their growth. Right up my alley, and more importantly, I could do most of what they needed from behind the scenes, which was important during this time for reasons which will be explained more fully in my book about the protracted lawsuit I initiated (currently under construction).

As the years went on, my business skills helped the PRC grow into an innovative and vibrant organization which expanded its geographic scope of service delivery and became a leader of responsiveness of programming for families in Southeastern Minnesota. One program that was highly successful was called Families and Schools Together, which brought together families, the schools and serving organizations all together in a research-based model to strengthen assets and reduce risk factors - it was an incredible program. You can find many of the successes in the evaluation reports that I wrote for the evaluators at the University of Minnesota on the internet, or by requesting copies from me - it was an awesome program with high efficacy and long-term benefits.

One of the components of the FAST program is to provide families with the skills and tools needed to be successful. At each session a family wins a basket literally of tools for success, from toilet paper and socks to measuring spoons and other items we may not always consider luxury or tools of success, but for some of these families make a huge difference. And the great thing about this is that the families write down things that would be most useful for them, so they have a role in asking for, and receiving what they need. There is a lot of research about the importance of this, but perhaps that will be yet another book...

Today I had a huge office supply delivery for one of my upcoming workshops and included in one of the boxes was a 60 piece tool set, complete with case and a lot of fun extras - really super fun stuff. And, the second I saw that tool set - I knew it was going into the FAST drawing tonight because the family that was getting the drawing had indicated that they needed a screwdriver - Yipee - I LOVE it when everything happens so perfectly. I bring the toolkit with me and drop it in the drawing basket - and this time I get to see the excited faces as it gets pulled out of the basket by the winning family - SUPER COOL!

❦ Who knew? Just Give.

Day 73 ❦ Give Practically

Day 73 ❦ Give Practically

THE GIFT: Boxes of Books

It probably does not matter if the entire world decides to have their information delivered to them entirely electronically, or via e-reading opportunities - I am a tactile person. I love books, the love the way a book feels in my hand, I love holding a book in my arms, I buy books just because I love the way their cover feels - I love real live books. And, I am and equal opportunity book collector - if I own a book, it becomes part of my collection. I have shelf after shelf after shelf filled and overflowing in my office and home with my collections. In the attic, the collection continues, with books from my younger life and the few remnants from a childhood lost. When I went away to college, I took a few of my favorite Nancy Drew books with me, which was fortunate because after I left, my remaining personal belongings were all thrown away. Hmmm...maybe I am beginning to identify the origins of my pack-rat behavior...

Every now and then, actually every six months, I go through fits of cleaning where I just want to get rid of everything.

Day 72 ❦ Give Simply, Embrace Someone With Your Care Today

Day 72 ❦ Give Simply, Embrace Someone With Your Care Today

THE GIFT: A much needed meal, a hug and friendship

Not sure what it is that the food theme is presenting itself a lot in this phase of the 100 Days of Giving...maybe it is because it is such a visceral reaction for me to want to feed people, food represents comfort, or food is a reflex for me to want to give. I know in my head that there is a lot of research about the importance of people sharing food together, the increases in connection, decreases in social isolation, not to mention the importance of the regularity of taking time to spend time eating together - my head responds to feeding people from a scientific viewpoint. My heart on the other hand, just wants to open up a roadside diner with picnic tables that hold hundreds and just serve up the food to anyone who needs to or wants to enjoy time together over a meal. Okay, not just a meal, but food, appetizers, desserts, buffets - if it is food, I want two or more to gather and enjoy.

I was still thinking about my friends from yesterday when I noticed at the side of the road another friend of mine who had a flat tire, or at least it looked like he had a flat tire (it turns out that he had slow leaks in all four of the tires in his truck) and was waiting

Day 71 ❦ Give What Comes Naturally

Day 71 ❦ Give What Comes Naturally

It might be because I was born an Italian Grandmother, but I love to feed people. The more the merrier and when I am not feeding people, I am wondering what my friends and family are eating. Sometimes I am wondering what they are eating because I cook vicariously and enjoy hearing what they are cooking and eating, and sometimes it is simply because I know that they are struggling and I like to figure out how I can support my friends and family who are hungry.

In an earlier post I talked about what it was like to be a child standing out in front of my house with all of my belongings on my back because we had just been evicted, but I have not talked about what it is like to be a child and be hungry, and I mean really hungry where a package of Starburst candies can be magically turned into 3 meals - enough to get me through an entire day, or turning an onion into lunch and dinner became a skill so we could go to bed with something in our stomachs. While I know we were not starving like the children I see in Africa or Nicaragua, that gnawing feeling that comes from having nothing to eat,

Day 70 ❦ Give and Provide Comfort

Day 70 ❦ Give and Provide Comfort

The Gift: Dinner

Over the course of the past seventy days, I have often talked about the gifts and giving opportunities presented by youth exchange students. Everything about youth exchange is a giving opportunity, the students giving of themselves, the community giving a place for a student to land for a year, the student’s parents - both in their native country, who have giving their student wings for a year...and their host parents who not only have given their homes...but their hearts. I have been on both sides of that giving.

Our oldest daughter was a youth exchange student in France for a year and although the house

Interlude ❦ Share the Gift of Patience

Interlude  ❦ Share the Gift of Patience

One Hundred Days of Giving is Back!

During the last four months I have been in the country for less than 30 days, visiting Ghana, Cambodia, Thailand, Nicaragua and making stops in Holland and Japan - some of those countries I visited more than once in the last 4 months. I am still waking up wondering what country that I am waking up in! While all of the trips had a fun aspect to them, in each country I worked; as a trainer and facilitator, as a blogger gaining new recipes and travel ideas for my food and travel blog, or working to develop a model for delivering humanitarian service more efficiently...but in everything I did, I learned.

I traveled as a student of life absorbing all I could and sharing myself when appropriate. I have enough material to sit and simply write for years to come and I hope to carve time to make sure that all of the things I learned and experienced get captured and shared in a manner that honors the experiences and the people who so graciously shared with me. Patience was the gift I was offered the most by others, patience when I didn't have the words to describe my feelings or questions in a language that was not native to me, patience when I asked a million questions when learning about a new cooking technique, patience when asking directions for the fourth time and still not understanding, patience as my fears tried to overtake me, patience as I grew weary from travel, heat, lack of sleep, more heat, patience as I got frustrated for the myriad of reasons I got frustrated, patience as I struggled to express myself and just couldn't  patience as I laughed at inappropriate times, patience as I teared up and was overcome with emotion, patience when my hearing problem kicked in, patience when my joy overflowed...patience, patience, patience.

In part I am sharing this because the giving lesson is obviously, patience. But I am also sharing this with all of my readers to explain my absence. When I travel, I go all in and find it difficult to “split my brain” wanting to remain in the present at all times. Not only is it a safety thing, but it is a way that I can be sure that I absorb every experience. My brain records everything when I am fully present. Thinking about things on my desk has not been a useful strategy for me while traveling. So I made the decision to not write while I was on the road. Actually I didn't give up writing altogether, I wrote various travel journals on individual blogs if I had access to electricity or internet, or in some cases computers - but I worked to keep the posts in the moment - sharing experiences of the day.

There is also quite a bit of discussion in the blogging world about “auto-posting” which can incorporate two different aspects of blogging - one definition of auto-blogging is when the author has someone else in their office or company write, or respond to comments or questions on their behalf - for me, if my readers think they are hearing from me - I need to be the one who writes the post - and I do, unless I specifically indicate that there is a guest writer. I do not have an opinion about how others do it, I am just assuring my readers that if I put my name by an article, I am the author. The second method of “auto-blogging” is using the scheduling feature of the writing software. Now, I have often used that method of getting my articles out when I know my schedule is not going to allow me to write in real time, but the comments and questions that arise from the articles are responded to by me. Knowing that I was going to be unable to respond to comments or questions while I was on the road in a consistent manner was enough to encourage me to “hold the presses” so to speak. Now I am back at my desk, writing, writing, writing and I do appreciate all of your patience.

❦ Patience is a gift we can all give...and receive!