Day 100 ❦Wow! Time to celebrate…

Day 100 ❦Wow! Time to celebrate…

The Gift: The remainder of the yard sale items FREE!

Yesterday I shared with you how much I love yard sales…and I do, but there are always items left over no matter how enticing the prices and I have decided that to end my journey of 100 Days of Giving, I am going to give it all away. What an incredible gift – I had no idea when I was making the decision about what to do with the left overs how many people’s lives would be impacted. In fact, I am still hearing from some of the people who stopped by to pull stuff out of the piles of stuff at the bottom of my driveway.

So the morning after the yard sale comes and I am faced with a big mess. What the heck am I going to do with all of this stuff – it seems impossible that there is this much stuff left but I can’t stop to think about it – I have to get rid of it – I have already said good bye to these items, these objects, these friends with whom I have already parted. If this stuff comes back into my house I will have defeated the lightening exercise – I did pretty well in bringing in a lot of cash, but now have to figure this part out. So I decide to drag everything down to the end of the driveway, write a big sign that says free in several languages and hope for the best.

Almost immediately I was inundated with people. I live on a perfect street to have a sale, lots of places to pull over, it is a one-way and it seems as though everyone in town drives by here at least once a day. Those people started calling their friends and I began wondering if I needed to call in a traffic control officer to help and make sure no one got hurt. After the initial shock of the rush of people I focused on getting everything down to the curb, and as I cleared out the garage, I started finding more and more stuff I could live without and just hauled stuff for close to an hour. And the people came. But it was their reactions that I will cherish for forever. The greatest gift, gratitude, humble and sincere.

After I was done with the big clean-up and I had everything that wasn’t tied down by the curb, I started interacting with those who were stopping by, I was curious what it was about this stuff that made it so compelling that they had to have it – and I was dumb-founded by what I learned. Most of the families stopping by had lost everything in the flood several months before, they lived in apartments and had no insurance and were re-building and needed everything – I fed some of those people. A mom stopped by with her 6 children and I was delighted with the giggles and the expressions as the kids each found something that was “perfect” for them. But the most meaningful was a man who came up to my door toward the end of the day and the pile was pretty picked over, but I had continued to replenish it as the day went on so there was a steady stream of new stuff in there.

He was Hispanic and was struggling to put his question to me, I am familiar with that look as I have used it often when in another country where I don’t speak the language. I told him I spoke Spanish and he asked me if indeed everything in the pile was free and as I replied that yes, everything was indeed free, and he began to sob. I grabbed some Kleenex from the kitchen and by the time I got back to him he had pulled himself together and just said thank you.

Of course I was curious so I peeked out the window to watch and saw 5 children and a mom tumble out of the van that was parked by the curb and the incredulity and tentativeness as they began loading everything left into the van. It felt really good and I was additionally pleased that everything had left my possession. A few weeks later a friend of mine from the Hispanic Community appeared at my door and was accompanied by the man. My friend interpreted and said that first the man wanted to make sure I was not insulted that he had brought an interpreter, but he wanted to be able to say what he needed to say without a loss of meaning and then he presented me with some homemade tamales. He then shared with me that their family has just been evicted from their home and that the 7 of them were living in the van I had seen parked at the bottom of the driveway. He said that while they appreciated all of the things that they were able to acquire, that they most appreciated the dignity and care and compassion I had shown them without knowing their circumstances. He was grateful, he was humble and that was my final gift.

❦ Thank the Universe daily, with humility and filled with gratitude.

Day 99 ❦ Give free of judgment, gratefully, and willingly

Day 99  ❦ Give free of judgment, gratefully, and willingly

The Gift: A massive yard sale

It is fitting that the second to last day of this journey, subtitled, an exercise in hope, incorporates one of my “go-to” strategies when I am stressed about money…a yard sale! Or for those of us who grew up on the East Coast…a tag sale! A yard sale helps me to focus my energy on getting rid of clutter freeing myself up from the attachments made with material objects and puts a little cash in my pocket. I like pricing everything to sell and especially enjoy watching as people interact with my goodies and make decisions to bring something home with them, or better yet, if they think of someone they can give one of my things to as a gift. It is just a great time of energy exchange.

A yard sale is made even better if it is a multi-family sale which this one today is, then we can share duties, drink tons of coffee while we interact with literally hundreds of people and of course, we have more items to trade amongst ourselves…but today since my goal is to get lighter – I am not trading, at least to bring anything more into my home. I need to jettison stuff out of here.

This yard sale is bittersweet on so many levels, one of my friends whose stuff now adorns my yard is moving and I will miss her dearly, and then there is all of the stuff I bought with great hope, hope in what the item would do for me or the person I bought it for, hope about the money that I would make to pay for the item and hope that at some point, there things would change us/me in some manner. In many ways, this is a time of lost hopes and dreams, and those items are priced even better than most – time to get rid of the attachments. And, there is some anxiety that creeps in as people look at my stuff and make value judgements about the items they are looking at, “how tacky”, “who would pay money for that?”, “what the heck is this?” all ploys to establish a foundation for negotiating.

Now I have gotten a lot better about both negotiating and not caring what someone is saying about my stuff, in fact, I have a crazy ritual that includes me hand marking every item so that I can have a final moment with the thing I am selling. Kind of like sending off my bill payments with a prayer of gratitude to the Universe. In many ways I am reliving the moment I acquired the object, what the intent was, the hope attached and the outcome of the gift, and then I am saying goodbye to it and making my own value judgment as it leaves my hand marked into a box ready for display. By the time I put the items on a table in the sale, I have no connection with them. Negotiating is a different story.

I have negotiated with the best all over the world and I am pretty good at it, although my oldest daughter is better, but when it comes to my stuff I am a push-over although you couldn’t tell by the way I can walk away from someone who is trying to get into a good negotiating position. In fact, if someone comes up to me with one of my items on the sale and asks if I will take a lesser price, I always say yes. Now that I have published this I will need to change my strategy, but I will have to re-evaluate that concept when I get there.

So we’ve got all of this great stuff, all priced to sell, lots of workers and lots of buyers – it is a great day filled with a lot of great interactions. Gifts were given all over, almost everyone left with something and all left smiling. What a great day – Day 99 is complete…I am exhausted, happy and sad all at the same time.

❦ Give free of judgment, gratefully, and willingly and the Universe will return the favor.

Day 98 ❦ Return Home for Comfort

Day 98 ❦ Return Home for Comfort

The Gift: A Meal

It is fitting that one of the last acts during this 100 days is to serve a delicious meal to some friends who are a little down on their luck and are hungry. I have been pretty sad thinking about 100 Days of Giving coming to an end and have even considered extending the exercise, but will have to see what Day 100 brings...

The fact that people are hungry in the United States needs to be the focus of this post. People are hungry in the United States, and not simply children, adults are going hungry in the United States. You couldn't tell from seeing me that I have experienced that kind of hopeless hunger, but I have and perhaps that is why I am as “comfortably” situated as I am now.  I know I shouldn't be surprised because I have friends who as adults have known that kind of hunger, and so anyone my family knows who is hungry gets fed.

Tonight I am planning on celebrating the approaching end of the 100 Days exercise and all that I have learned., all that I have gained and the impact that both giving and receiving has had upon me. And so we eat, great home-cooked comfort food. And we feed, nurture and support our friends and ultimately ourselves through the giving.

❦ Home is wherever comfort waits.

Day 97 ❦ Receive Today

Day 97 ❦ Receive Today

The Gift: Two pair of running shoes

As the days quickly come to a close, I was surprised to see how different  that today’s giving experience felt compared to the first week when I gave “stuff” to the Salvation Army. In fact, my entire attitude about giving has changed, something that I didn't think possible. I have always believed in giving and engaged in giving but now it feels like a mandate, an expectation, part of my dues for being a human. But one of the more important lessons I have learned is that it is equally important to receive. Giving does not accomplish anything if no one is there to receive your gift and the first part of the transaction (giving) can’t happen without the receiving. I had to learn to receive to be a better giver.

Now I don’t worry about getting rid of or dumping something that I didn't want, or my junk, or the “stuff” in my closets or attic - now when I give everyday I think about how someone might receive my gift, how they might appreciate my “stuff” how my junk could really be their treasure. By understanding and embracing receiving, I have become a much better giver.

When I looked back on Day 2 and read that I was nervous about how my stuff would be received, I didn't have a refined understanding of the concept of receiving. Artfully, receiving is about gratitude, accepting that someone has value to offer and acknowledging that value. And today I know that someone will receive the two pair of running shoes that I am donating to the Salvation Army with gratitude, acknowledging that I have value, that my gift was good enough.

❦ In receiving, we acknowledge the value of the giver.

Day 96 ❦ Simplify

Day 96 ❦ Simplify

The Gift: Ink cartridges

After yesterday’s giving opportunity, I am worried about how I am going to top that - so I have to let go of outcome and get back to basics. Get back to the real reason I am doing this - to experience time each day where I step outside of myself and think about someone else. Okay - re-focused, now with only five days left, what am I going to do that is going to be over the top? Wait a minute, back to basics - I only need to give. Simply. Honestly. Give.

One other lesson I have been incorporating into my life during this exercise is that of simplifying. It is so easy to gain attachments to “stuff” and so today I need to let go of something...walking into my office I spot it immediately...ink cartridges...a full box of ink cartridges. Off I go with my box in tow, today the Humane Society will be the beneficiary of my $3/cartridge donation, 25 cartridges, $75 donation, box out from under my feet. Win win win. Only four days left.

96 ❦ Give simply, simply give

Day 95 ❦ I'm With the Band!

Day 95 ❦ I'm With the Band!

Gift: A round of Guinness

I belong to the best book group in the world. Period. I know others will tell you that, but mine really is. We read to eat first. Then we wine between the lines. And then, sometimes we talk about the book. And then sometimes we just get a little wild. In the giving experience that I am sharing today not only did we get to do all of the above but we got to be real live groupies…on a road trip. Oh my goodness all of the makings of a fine time.

Several years ago the town in which I live began an “all city book read” called Page Turners with a focus on Minnesota authors. Our book group loves any excuse to read a great book and find a reason to meet and eat. When the Page Turners announced that we were going to be reading a book by Erin Hart, we didn’t know much about her, but we all bought the book “Haunted Ground” and IMMEDIATELY fell in love with the characters, Nora and Cormac. The book was set in Ireland which gave us a great reason to eat fantastic Irish food and of course, over the top good Irish beer. Several of the women in the book group feel especially connected to Ireland and so the folk lore and Irish poems really resonated with them. But the real attraction began for me when Erin came to Austin and she sang some of the songs and read the poetry and some stories…and then she started telling the stories of her time in Ireland and transported us to a place that was magical. We grieved when it was over and started a vigil waiting for the next book in the series.

The call came yesterday. One of the book group girls secured tickets to the launch party for Erin Hart’s next book, “Haunted Ground” which is being held today. Four of us were able to drop everything and head to the cities, several hours away. We were like little kids, asking for Erin’s autograph, getting our pictures taken with her, enjoying the food and drink and then…the music started. Erin’s husband Paddy is a musician and he and the “band” they began playing music that took us to the far reaches of the countryside outside of Dublin into our seats in a stone walled pub and they danced, and played and sang. There are not words to share how incredible it was, so you will just have to trust me on that. We felt like we were in Ireland…and then Erin began singing and reading from her book and sharing poems and stories and I had to keep pinching myself to remind myself that this was really happening.

It is pretty late at night and I suddenly realize that getting caught up in the suddenness of finding out about the tickets, rescheduling everything to be here and then the excitement and the drive…I have not given anything today…yet. But I know exactly what to do. A round of Guinness was delivered to the band, anonymously and they played their hearts out in gratitude as a thank you to the “angel” who bought them a Guinness…in their thank you, they told the person who bought the round…”you’re one of us!” ... I’m with the band.

❦ Today just have fun with your giving!


  

Day 94 ❦ Share Some Hometown Pride

Day 94 ❦ Share Some Hometown Pride

The Gift: SPAM and SPAM Stuff

Now before you delete this post, this is about the original SPAM, the canned lunch meat...not the other kind of computerized Spam...so hang in there with me. I live in Austin, Minnesota the home of SPAM, the canned lunch meat. We owe a great debt of gratitude for all tat the Hormel Foods Company does for the people who live, work and visit Austin. They are a very generous company and as a result, we have great schools, a beautiful library, fantastic parks, a YMCA that is open to all children under 18 years of age for $1/year...and so many more gifts that they help provide for our community. And then there is the SPAM Museum, yes, the SPAM Museum. The third most visited road side attractions in Minnesota, in a county without a lake. Now that says something.

People visit Austin from all over the world to visit the SPAM Museum and it is good for our economy, good for our community and great for our community pride - so why not just go along with the flow? I really enjoy bringing guests to the SPAM Museum and showing them around this community - it’s pretty cool and certainly unique. And, I bring many people to this community from all over the world, so I get to see our community through their eyes...and they love the SPAM Museum.

Today is not different, I have a group of people from Brazil visiting and have taken them to City Hall to meet the Mayor, to the TV Station to practice reporting the weather, then off to the Nature Center for a nice long walk and some maple syrup from the Nature Center...and then off to the SPAM Museum. It’s been a great day and I am really proud of all we have to offer for visitors to experience and explore, and yes, that means SPAM too. So naturally I am delighted as they excitedly receive their Austin Gift Bag filled with lots of goodies from their visit in Austin...including, SPAM. Have some fun, show some pride and give some laughs.

❦ Share Some Hometown Pride

Day 93 ❦ Plant a Seed, Help Grow a Dream

Day 93 ❦ Help Someone Grow a Dream

The Gift: A Dream

I have shared many stories about my upbringing, which in many ways was a gift in and of itself. In our house we now say “Happiness does not build character” and so my upbringing helped build me into the character I am presently. I have written many stories thanking the people who were so negligent and harmful in my life for teaching me about resilience and the power of digging deep and believing in myself and they are not gratuitous, I really mean it - I am the person, the character,  I am today because of the lessons I learned in life.

I also learned that life is about choices and options, and although I learned that a little later in life, I think that is one of the best take-aways from my childhood. I have choices. I can choose to be a good person, I can choose to have a positive outlook on life, I can choose to smile and get through anything. My attitude is a choice, my behavior is a choice, my actions are choices. Options came even later and the story about this gift was one of the first time I realized I had options.

In the book “Bridging the Class Divide”, author Linda Stout shares that children who grow up in marginalized households do not learn about options until later in life. In my experience, options is a word that can be interchanged with dreams. In my childhood, my dreams were simple and usually involved survival and coping strategies but as I became exposed to other people’s dreams - I realized that those could certainly be options for me and traveling vicariously became one of my favorite escapes. Hearing from my Grandfather or my Uncle about their latest trips always got me excited to think about visiting and traveling and experiencing the world. I loved looking at all of their slides over and over again. They helped me begin to learn about options and dreaming.

This was fully realized on the day that I turned eighteen and I stopped over at my Grandparents house to say hi. I am sure I was hoping for a birthday gift, but I had lived with them fora while so it was not unusual for me to stop by. I will never forget this day - Grandpa was sitting at the kitchen table and Grandma was by the stove cooking something (as usual) and Grandpa handed me an envelope...oh goodie...a gift indeed! Before I had a chance to open it, I was sworn to secrecy - I couldn't tell my Mother what was in the envelope, because Grandpa said it would make her mad. Even better! A gift AND one that would make my Mom mad! And then as I started to open the envelope, my Grandpa made me make one more promise...I had to spend it all - I could not save the gift. Now that was a little harder to promise because I was getting ready to put myself through college and was trying to save every penny...but I promised.

As I open the card five $100 bills fell into my hand. $500. In 1976 $500 was a fortune and would pay for an entire semester at college. I was in shock. After huge hugs were exchanged and I caught my breathe my Grandfather then said to me, “you can do anything you want, you will be able to go anywhere you want to go, where are you going to go with this money?”And the dreaming began. I had options, and probably more importantly, I had someone who told me I had options, someone who believed that I could go anywhere, do anything, be anyone. While the $500 was a huge gift - the real gift came in those words...my Grandpa believed in me. In me. In ME! Wow.

So how does this fit the 100 Days of Giving Exercise? On this day, I had a chance to pass this same dream on to our nephew, in much the same way, and with much the same impact. How simple is it to say to someone - “I believe in YOU”. Go out and give someone that gift and just see what happens - it is magical and will have life-long impact.

❦ Plant a Seed and Help Someone Grow a Dream

Interlude - A Mother's Day Gift

Today - in honor of my youngest daughter's eighteenth birthday, I am shamelessly sending you to the link of the story of one of the greatest gifts I have been given...my life. When you read the story of the day I almost slipped away from this life, hopefully you will understand the context from which I promote a "no regrets life."

One Hundred Days of Giving will begin again tomorrow and we will spend the final week of the 100 day journey sharing some unique and inspiration stories...as we come to a close. This palate cleansing digression may very well be a stalling strategy so that I don't have to post the final few days...it is kind of sad to think about 100 Days of Giving ending...but we shall see what comes from the end...usually a new beginning...

Until then - please read, contemplate and comment...

http://letsreallylisten.blogspot.com/