Give and Multiply the Gift

It is fitting that on "Give to the Max Day" the reflections today are about the multiplying effect that one simple gift can have...enjoy

100 Days of Giving is about hope, healing and simple gifts in times of difficulty and creating opportunities for each of us to have fun with unique ways of giving.

Each day of the 100 Days of Giving includes a daily reflection for you to consider. Included within the 100 days are interludes, bonus times to stop and reflect. While you are reflecting...be sure to remember to LIKE 100 Days of Giving on Facebook

Today's reflection is about a mysterious gift:  Day 53

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 Your daily reflection: Simply giving can have a multiplying impact

For your daily giving journal: Multiply your giving

• What did you give today?
• How many times did your gift give? In what ways?

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Please feel free to write about your experience in the comments section, share with someone else, or keep to yourself...whatever works for you, just keep in mind that one of the most important part of giving is being open to receiving and the more you share with others, the more you will receive in return. As difficult as receiving may be for you, it is an essential part of giving, so challenge yourself and give receiving a try, or a "do...there is no try, only do."

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To read today's interlude click on this link: Day 53

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From The Eye of the Hurricane

Day 97 ❦ Receive Today

Day 97 ❦ Receive Today

The Gift: Two pair of running shoes

As the days quickly come to a close, I was surprised to see how different  that today’s giving experience felt compared to the first week when I gave “stuff” to the Salvation Army. In fact, my entire attitude about giving has changed, something that I didn't think possible. I have always believed in giving and engaged in giving but now it feels like a mandate, an expectation, part of my dues for being a human. But one of the more important lessons I have learned is that it is equally important to receive. Giving does not accomplish anything if no one is there to receive your gift and the first part of the transaction (giving) can’t happen without the receiving. I had to learn to receive to be a better giver.

Now I don’t worry about getting rid of or dumping something that I didn't want, or my junk, or the “stuff” in my closets or attic - now when I give everyday I think about how someone might receive my gift, how they might appreciate my “stuff” how my junk could really be their treasure. By understanding and embracing receiving, I have become a much better giver.

When I looked back on Day 2 and read that I was nervous about how my stuff would be received, I didn't have a refined understanding of the concept of receiving. Artfully, receiving is about gratitude, accepting that someone has value to offer and acknowledging that value. And today I know that someone will receive the two pair of running shoes that I am donating to the Salvation Army with gratitude, acknowledging that I have value, that my gift was good enough.

❦ In receiving, we acknowledge the value of the giver.

Day 96 ❦ Simplify

Day 96 ❦ Simplify

The Gift: Ink cartridges

After yesterday’s giving opportunity, I am worried about how I am going to top that - so I have to let go of outcome and get back to basics. Get back to the real reason I am doing this - to experience time each day where I step outside of myself and think about someone else. Okay - re-focused, now with only five days left, what am I going to do that is going to be over the top? Wait a minute, back to basics - I only need to give. Simply. Honestly. Give.

One other lesson I have been incorporating into my life during this exercise is that of simplifying. It is so easy to gain attachments to “stuff” and so today I need to let go of something...walking into my office I spot it immediately...ink cartridges...a full box of ink cartridges. Off I go with my box in tow, today the Humane Society will be the beneficiary of my $3/cartridge donation, 25 cartridges, $75 donation, box out from under my feet. Win win win. Only four days left.

96 ❦ Give simply, simply give

Interlude ❦ Just Give Yourself

Interlude   ❦   Just Give Yourself

During the first series of 100 days of giving I have talked about the floods that devastated Austin, Minnesota and even though the magnitude is much greater in real time with Hurricane Sandy and the aftermath of the flooding and water and wind damage - the concepts of moving outside ourselves to find a way to give to those around us remain the same.

For this interlude I am posting 4 of the past posts which have received the most views as a means of prompting or priming the pump in the giving world. It is so easy to get so overwhelmed and consumed with the need that we may marginalize or underestimate our capacity and impact.

So today step outside yourself and do something for someone else, smile, show friendship, lend a helping hand - it does not need to cost anything...just give yourself.

Giving can create a sense of relief:
http://onehundreddaysofgiving.blogspot.com/2012/10/day-38-giving-can-create-sense-of-relief.html

Do something for someone else:
http://onehundreddaysofgiving.blogspot.com/2012/10/interlude-support-street-girls-aid.html

When you give, you give permission for others to give:
http://onehundreddaysofgiving.blogspot.com/2012/08/day-5-give-permission-to-others-to-give.html

And, the one that still makes me smile...
http://onehundreddaysofgiving.blogspot.com/2012/09/day-13-be-childlike-in-your-giving.html

Find a way to stretch yourself...

 ❦   Just Give Yourself

Day 44 ❦ Give again!

Day 44 ❦ Give again!

The Gift: 6 African bracelets

Last night we had book group and I gave two beautiful African bracelets to my daughter and exchange student for helping cook the meal. When they opened their gifts and the girls from the book group saw them, there was a collective ohh and ahh that made me feel a little bad that I hadn’t thought to bring one for each of them...but instead, thinking of that experience has given me the giving opportunity for today.

I wrapped up 6 African bracelets and deliver them to all of the girls from book group and to my delight, they ohhhed and ahhhed all over again! It was super fun!

❦ Give again!

Day 31 ❦ Embrace our humanness.

Day 31

The Gift:

My giving notebook

I knew that I was going to have to write about this day for years. When I began this exercise I found the cutest little notebook whose cover in a black and white with yellow sepia tones pictured a smiling little girl dressed in a happy yellow flowered sun dress holding a daisy that was larger than her. It was perfect - giving larger than life, happiness and hope all bundled up in one little book.

The first page begins...”To Serve, Create and Bring Joy!” On the left hand side of each page is a date, month and day of the month,  followed by a description of the gift that I gave and a few notes about any observations, gifts received, the pieces of the story that I would write about later and any feelings that I had about that particular giving experience. I wanted it to be easy to record and then later transfer into the journal that you are reading now.

The note book itself is 4 inches by 6 inches, each page holds between 3 - 5 gifting experiences and filled with one great story after another. Despite its size, there is enough room in the notebook for me to use it for the second cycle of giving that I am conducting now and in fact, I could consider 5 or 6 more cycles of 100 days of giving and still have plenty of room to record everything I need to remember each day’s experience. That is except for today’s giving experience...

Today, Day 31 of the first 100 Days of Giving is blank. And not blank as in I forgot to write down what happened, blank as in I just didn't give anything today. I didn't forget to give, I didn't forget to write down the giving experience. I just didn't give anything today.

Knowing that I was planning on writing about my entire experience, I wrestled with just rolling day 32 into this day and shifting all of the subsequent days, but that didn't feel right. I thought about writing something philosophical like I gave of myself somewhere, but I didn't  I thought about staring all over since I hadn't really had 100 consecutive days of giving...but then I realized that we are all human and despite the challenges and standards that we set for ourselves, it is okay to recognize that we are all human and need a day off.

When I began this exercise 30 days ago, I was at an all-time low and was looking for something to kick-start me back into the human race. I needed something to move me outside of myself and I needed to be open to others’ needs instead of focusing on my own. To beat myself up for missing a day would defeat all that had been accomplished and I was unwilling to diminish all of the great things that had happened in the past 30 days. Intentionally giving, focusing on others, being open to interacting with people in new ways has added a dimension to my life that I not only appreciate and love, but that gives me something to look forward to each day. Today it just wasn't there and I needed to give into that. Period.

Now, the challenge is that just because I gave in today...will that make it easier to give in tomorrow? Or the next day? So now I know what I need to do. I need to intentionally add one day off each month when I can intentionally take the day off. God rested on the 7th day, surely it is okay for me to rest on the 30th day. So Be It. That is what I am going to do. Today...I rested.

❦ Embrace our humanness.

Day 28 ❦ A simple gift can influence world peace

Day 28

The Gift: Three Deecha Dolls

Deecha Doll (Dee-cha)
A child's imagination takes shape...
...outside the lines.

Deecha Dolls were first introduced to me in the fall of 2002. Created by a woman in Wisconsin, they are soft cuddly creatures that resemble children’s depictions and drawings of themselves and their favorite animals. My Rotary Group Study Exchange team used them to make connections between Minnesota/Wisconsin and Ghana school children. Just before we left in the spring of 2003, several of us took the Deecha Dolls into third, fourth and fifth grade classrooms around the state and asked school children to tell the Deecha Dolls stories of their lives and to write those stories for the Deechas to pass along to children in Ghana. I have some spectacular pictures of third graders holding the Deechas in their laps while they read the stories of their lives to the stuffed creatures.

We took the hundreds of stories with the Deechas to Ghana and shared the stories and Deechas. The Ghanian school children then wrote their own stories for us to bring back and share with the students here. All of the stories are moving and this exercise really opened my eyes to the ease of solving world tensions. I have several Deecha Dolls left from the experience that I use when I do public speaking engagements about my experience.

This afternoon, my daughter Shannon invited Julia (the girl from yesterday’s story) to come over and play. After a while there were several little girls running all over the yard, laughing, screaming, running and playing. Watching Julia and the other kids was very emotional. I decided that I wanted them to remember this closeness and bonding and when they came back inside - I gave all of the girls playing in my yard a Deecha and asked them to share the story of this day with the Deecha as a witness to happiness and an oracle for peace.

❦ A simple gift can influence world peace

An Interlude - A review of the best

Today's Gift - a review of the most viewed posts so far. As I mentioned in the last interlude - I have begun a second cycle of 100 days of giving and while I should not be surprised by the impact and results, I remain continually and pleasantly surprised. The impact of focusing on giving every day and in return being open to receiving the giving others may have for you is life-changing. As simple as that - life-changing. Neither good nor bad but affirming, fulfilling and fun. I have found this exercise to again offer a new outlook to every day and gives me something to look forward to everyday...the surprise of it all. So in that vein, I present to you the top 4 posts of the first 28 posts:



By giving you give others permission to give too...
http://onehundreddaysofgiving.blogspot.com/2012/08/day-5-give-permission-to-others-to-give.html

What it feels like to overcome our self-talk about giving...
http://onehundreddaysofgiving.blogspot.com/2012/08/day-1when-i-give-i-feel-light.html

The one I had the most fun with...
http://onehundreddaysofgiving.blogspot.com/2012/09/day-13-be-childlike-in-your-giving.html

And, the inspiration of the exercise...
http://onehundreddaysofgiving.blogspot.com/2012/08/introduction-to-100-days-of-givingan.html

Day 23 ❦ When shared, small gifts can reap huge rewards.

Day 23

The Gift: Loose change in March of Dimes box

Today I told the third person about my giving exercise. I have been holding this very closely, so that people I know don’t question my motives when they receive a gift from me wondering if I am giving from my heart or out of obligation just to complete the exercise. Now, I will have to admit that when I first began this exercise, I thought that there would be times that I would be giving out of obligation - just to stay on track - and while I have had to intentionally seek out giving opportunities - obligation is a concept or feeling that has not ever been present. I have found that I feel full of gratitude when a giving opportunity presents itself.

So today, I went out on an intentional giving hunt. I packed my nine year old in the car and told her that I needed to find something or someone to give to. No other explanation, simply that we were going on a giving hunt. She so got into it. Her giving ideas were wide and varied and she was still dreaming about them while we went grocery shopping. At the check-out she noticed the change boxes that were posted by the cash register that were labeled “March of Dimes” and asked the clerk, “What is the March of Dimes”? At which the seventeen year old clerk looked up a little perplexed, realized what my daughter was talking about and thought for a minute. “I think it is an organization that helps little babies who have problems”, she responded. So Shannon decided that the March of Dimes really needed our money because she wanted to help little babies with problems and I promptly dumped all of my change in her hand for her to put in the box. Shannon and the clerk exchanged huge smiles as we walked away, Such a small gift, such huge rewards.... Several days later, while we were driving, a March of Dimes commercial came on the air and Shannon sat straighter in her seat and excitedly proclaimed that we had helped them, “remember Mom, at the grocery store?”, smiling again.

  ❦ When shared, small gifts can reap huge rewards.

Day 22 ❦ Unexpected gifts are fun to give.

Day 22

The Gift: A box of frozen popsicles

I spent the morning last weekend cleaning the obscure parts of my house and started with the freezer. We moved into this house fourteen years ago and bought the refrigerator new when we moved in - that was probably the last time it was clean. So as I sorted through ancient boxes of ice cream all with one last spoonful of something that resembled white at some time in it and unidentifiable frosted over meat (I think) and tubs of red stuff - that I am sure was the best chili or spaghetti sauce I had ever made - I was surprised to see tucked away in the back bottom corner a new, and unopened box of freezees - all colors intact. Usually I find a box filled with picked over purple ones and throw them away. Despite my delight in finding the hidden treasure, freezees just don’t fit into the Dr. Phil lifestyle so I tried to throw them away and just couldn’t make myself do it.

I took them out of the box and neatly tucked them away under the ice cube trays thinking that there will be some reason to bring them out (but I just couldn't imagine when that would be) - until tonight...

This summer has been unseasonably cold and most evenings have found us tucked under heaps of blankets usually reserved for crisp fall days. I am sure that the ice cream stands are suffering, but the rain has been beneficial in returning the water table levels to healthy levels. Despite the cold weather this has also been a bumper year for mosquitoes. Now I know that Minnesota is known for its mosquito, and rightfully so, however, these mosquitoes are killer mosquitoes - or can’t be killed mosquitoes. Even after the city sprayed twice to eradicate these pesky bugs, the swarms were so think - no one has been outside. I use the mosquito repellent I took to Africa (one hundred percent DEET) and even this does not deter them. Because of all of these factors, people just have not been outside, kids have not been outside playing, yelling, screaming and I have resorted to bringing my daily workouts into the gym.

Today was a very busy day for me and as the evening came on me, I realized that I had not yet found a giving opportunity. Yikes, I do not want to encounter giving burn-out, and need to stick to my daily giving or the exercise is all for naught. Discipline - that is one thing I would like to see myself accomplish in this, discipline, bringing it home. But that did not relieve the fact that I had not been open to a giving opportunity yet and it was seven thirty at night.

As I was pulling into my driveway on finally - the hottest day of the summer - topping off at eighty six degrees - I almost missed my driveway because I was watching five or six kids playing out in the field across from my house. There are some great climbing trees there and under the trees stood tangles of bikes and kids playing and yelling. I realized how much I missed that and smiled to see them hanging upside down and just being kids. Maybe summer has finally arrived. At least my giving opportunity has. I marched into the house, bagged up the popsicles and went back out and gave them to the kids. Although they were older than I originally thought, they were all very excited to be given something, spontaneously, by a stranger. As I walked away I heard them negotiating who would get the blue one and who would get the red one. As I reached my back door they yelled out a big thanks and turned to enjoy the treat. This was fun.

❦ Unexpected gifts are fun to give.

Day 21 ❦ Giving presents many surprises.

Day 21

The Gift: A new to you bike

I have struggled with using this gift to count toward my daily giving opportunity, and the factor that weighed in most heavily was the pure pleasure and appreciation of the recipient when this gift was presented. So, an old bike that I refurbished to “new to you” condition for my youngest daughter counts and I learned a valuable lesson in this experience.

Shannon and I went for a bike ride this morning. I was riding my racing bike that I bought many years ago, but is still in excellent condition. Shannon was riding the bike that my husband and I gave to her for her eighth birthday just last year. She was having trouble keeping up with me. One time I looked back and she was stopped by the roadside, off her bike. I circled back around and saw that the chain had fallen off. We fooled around with it and finally got it back in place, only to have it fall off again. Unfortunately we were several miles away from home and had to figure out a plan. With very few options we opted for the ride and fix plan which took forever for us to get back home. While she was riding in front of me, I also noticed that she had probably grown a foot and a half since we gave her that bike just last year. Something had to be done - now, however, since my hours at work have been scaled back - purchasing a new bike was not going to be an option today. I noticed that I was sinking into my darkness again. Scarcity encompassed me and I started telling myself what a terrible mother I was that I couldn’t even get my daughter a new bike. ARGHHHH.

We made it home and I was really stressed and pretty bummed. Shannon quietly went into her room and we didn't talk for a long time. I have been at this giving exercise long enough now that I can recognize when I am dropping into my dark place and in recognizing it - can make a move to intervene. I had to move, breathe, do something that is constructive. If I can’t get her a new bike, what if I try to get her big sister’s bike in riding shape for the short term. So we set up shop. Shannon washed the bike and scrubbed the spokes while I cleaned and oiled the chain, tightened and adjusted the brakes and gears, and then we polished it and put air in the tires.....and....viola....a new bike. And to add to the specialness of the bike, it was Alison’s (which apparently is really cool for Shannon). We went out and bought a bike lock, since this bike was so nice it might get stolen, and Shannon was in the bike riding business.

She rides that bike everywhere and I smile every time I see her on it. Perhaps the gift was the “new to you” bike, perhaps it was the time we spent together fixing it up, perhaps it was the responsiveness and support Shannon got with her old bike struggles. The gift for me was in the giving - the act of moving out of my darkness to give was an incredible gift for me.

❦ Giving presents many surprises.

Day 20 ❦ A gift becomes more when I get to enjoy it too

Day 20

The Gift - A party in a bag

I love to entertain, and am always on the lookout for cool party decorations and buy them anytime I see them knowing that they will come in handy sometime. This is one of those times. On my way out of town I drop off a party in a bag to our exchange student for a party that she is planning - I have perfect platters, plates, napkins, and small table decorations that fit the theme that the host family has selected for this party and I am happy to give them these festive items. This is a little selfish because I will be attending this party, and will be the beneficiary of all of the fun party stuff, but there are no guidelines that say that if I benefit and enjoy the gift I have given someone else that it can't count - so I will enjoy and we will all have a fun party.



❦ A gift becomes more when I get to enjoy it too

Day 19 ❦ A simple gift can carry with it many complex layers of appreciation.

Day 19

The Gift: A necklace

When I returned from Africa, I brought back with me many gifts. While I was in Ghana, Togo and Benin I stopped at roadside vendors, went to market, stopped women carrying things on their head, asked for clothing to be made and purchased as many native pieces of jewelry, clothing and wood carvings I could carry. I bought these gifts with no one in particular in mind, knowing that when the time to give arose, I would know to whom I would give each gift. I spent two days shopping at Street Girls Aid in Ghana, a refuge for girls who live, work and sleep on the streets of Accra with their babies. The goal of Street Girls Aid is to teach these girls a new trade such as sewing, batiking, hair design or jewelry making as well as provide their children with medical care and child care while their mothers learn a new skill. While we were visiting, we got to watch the girls tie-dye, batik, sew, make jewelry and put fancy shells on some of the skirts they were making for us.

I was visiting Street Girls Aid to look at the viability of  developing some sustainability projects between multiple funding partners, one of which is my Rotary District. While we were there, we met several other Rotarians (Kay and Bob) who were also looking at combining forces with Rotary and Street Girls Aid to develop an export market for their wares and expand the shelter. Kay brought back with her twelve boxes of beautiful fabrics, table cloths, napkins, dresses, skirts and wine bottle covers. I limited myself to one suitcase full of jewelry, fabrics, clothing, and tablecloths from Street Girls Aid.

Today I had the opportunity to give a necklace from Street Girls Aid. Shortly after I arrived home from Africa in May, I gave away tons and tons of gifts. I seem to still have hundreds of necklaces and bracelets left and realized that I am not giving them away as freely as I had anticipated. So as I walked by the large basket that contains many of the necklaces - I picked one up and gave it to my daughter Alison. My kids tend to not get gifted as much as many of my friends and co-workers, so I decided that it would be nice and spontaneous to just give her one. It felt nice and since she knows the story of Street Girls Aid, she carries their energy with her and can appreciate her life and the gift that was made for by the street girls.

❦ A simple gift can carry with it many complex layers of appreciation.

Day 18 ❦ Give and others can give

DAY 18

The Gift - A hockey bag

Since I have had my hours reduced significantly at work, I have dedicated Fridays to volunteer service and spend most of my time working on Rotary projects. Rotary International has given me so many opportunities to serve both here in Minnesota and throughout the world. This spring I returned from my second work service trip to West Africa sponsored by Rotary International. Volunteering my time now is only one of the small ways I can give back to Rotary for what I have received. Today I am meeting with a woman who will be leading a team of educators to Ghana, one of the countries in which I spent time.

When I meet with Judy, I am armed with contact names and numbers of people who can assist her when she is in Ghana. I show her some of my pictures and we talk about her itinerary. Then I give her the traveling hockey bag. For those of you who do not live in a state that lives and breathes hockey, a hockey bag is the biggest and most durable canvas bag that you can get that still fits in the size limitations required by the airlines. I have found through my travels, that a hockey bag is the perfect bag in which to transport medical supplies to developing countries - and have done so on multiple occasions.

In Minnesota, our Rotary District was fortunate to have a volunteer organization which recycles good, useable and re-usable medical supplies leftover from hospitals called R.H.O.M.S.I.D. They ask Rotarians who are traveling to developing countries to consider taking a bag or two of supplies from their warehouse to give to local doctors and clinics upon their arrival in the country in which they are visiting. The two times I went to Africa, the team that I traveled with stuffed seventy pounds (the airline baggage limit) of medical supplies into the hockey bag (and other bags as well). The cool thing about the hockey bag is that is can hold seventy pounds of gauze, pads, bandages - big bulky items that could never fit into a standard suitcase. Items like stethoscopes, and heavy medical equipment fit well mixed in with clothing, but light, bulky stuff poses a packing nightmare. We have transported four hundred and twenty pounds of much needed medical supplies in two trips in this manner.

The traveling hockey bag was given to me two years ago for my first trip to Africa to transport children’s clothing and medical supplies. We found it worked so well, we decided to use it to load it with gifts for our return to the United States, and just keep giving it to people who were taking R.H.O.M.S.I.D. supplies on their trips. Judy’s team was planning on taking medical supplies with them, so they were gifted our traveling hockey bag.

❦ Give and others can give

Day 17 ❦ Leftovers can provide meaningful giving opportunities.

Day 17

The Gift: Left-over food to the Salvation Army

Leftovers take an unfair rap. In my home, because we eat spectacular food and I always cook too much, a leftover meal can easily be the equivalent of a gourmet meal in most homes. It is not unusual if you come to my home unexpectedly during meal time for me to pull out a six course lunch or dinner for you to enjoy. I love to share my cooking and you will notice that several giving opportunities in this book are related to “special meals” that I gave to people. I am only mentioning this to increase the level of esteem in which you might hold the term “leftovers” when thinking about them as a legitimate gift. In this case, however, the leftovers were fairly pedestrian - but meaningful. We had company for a cookout over the weekend and when they left, we had many unopened food items leftover that we would not eat because they did not adhere to the “Dr. Phil Plan”. So in an effort to maintain a “no fail environment” I took these food items over the local food shelf where they were gratefully received. As I talked to the woman who accepted my gifts she commented that so many people don’t think about giving these kind of “leftovers” to their local food shelf thinking them not good enough (and throwing them away), when in fact, they are exactly what are needed on a daily basis.

❦ Leftovers can provide meaningful giving opportunities.

Day 16 ❦ There is always a perfect match for that which you wish to give.

Day 16

The Gift: A variety of coffee flavorings.

Yesterday I cleaned my spice cupboard and found a number of things that I know I will never use and just could not throw away. I am compiling them in an area, because my spice collection is such that the average mid-westerner will not really consider them a gift. But as I was cleaning I came across a great collection of coffee flavorings (filled with sugar) which no longer fits my Dr. Phil lifestyle. So...... who do I know who likes flavored coffee??? I put the container in my purse and carry it around with me today, just waiting for the giving opportunity to arise. It did not take long. I ran into a co-worker, who as my “office secret santa” bought me a coffee punch card for my birthday. When she gave it to me, she commented about how much she loved coffee - Ah ha! I handed her the coffee flavorings and she happily accepted my gift.

❦ There is always a perfect match for that which you wish to give.

Day 15 ❦ Giving feels better than coveting.

Day 15

The Gift: A bag of new items to the Salvation Army, a fifty dollar donation, an apple and banana.

I woke up this morning eagerly anticipating my giving today. I knew exactly what I was going to do and had packaged up the gift already. Never in my life did I anticipate how cool the myriad of other giving opportunities that would reveal themselves today would be. I am so glad that I did not artificially restrict myself to only one giving opportunity per day!

My experience giving to the Salvation Army was so rewarding last time that I decided to give a full bag of brand new things - either unworn, unwrapped, or still with the tags on - brand new. As I was cleaning the closets, I pulled out things that I would never wear and items that fit my brand new criteria and filled a bag. It was so much fun to deliver this bag full of items at the Salvation Army this morning.

Later in the day I got a phone call from a friend asking me to go to a political rally and hear Al Franken speak. I jumped on the opportunity and found myself in the fourth row at the State Theatre for an extremely entertaining evening. Okay so this situation brings up some questions:

• Does this qualify as a giving opportunity and why am I including it?
• Does it count if I get something back in return?

My husband and I believe very strongly in giving on an annual basis and easily donate to charitable organizations and help friends and family when we can. I know that to count that giving in this new exercise just wouldn’t be right - it wouldn’t challenge me to find new opportunities. So that is the operative word, a new donation, something that I would not have given before I started this exercise.

GUIDELINE #4 - Any donation can be counted over and above my regular annual giving.

Now the other question is more tricky because while I would not count the purchase of a ticket to the local symphony or children’s theatre (albeit they are partial donations) why should I count the donation to see Al Franken? The difference is this - I was told when I wrote the check that the Theatre was not charging anything for the performance and that the entire amount of my check was considered a donation. That is my guiding light. Yes, I got some value from the experience, but I can also make the case that I am getting something out of every giving experience. So:

GUIDELINE #5 - The intrinsic personal value of the gift (or donation) does not disqualify the giving opportunity.

If the intrinsic personal value of the giving opportunity disqualified the opportunity - I could not count the next experience. This was one of the more meaningful experiences yet. On our way to the Theatre, we were stuck in traffic in Minneapolis. At one such stop we noticed a woman sitting by the side of the road with a sign saying that she was homeless and hungry and would work for food. I could feel all four of us in the car preparing to steel ourselves to not watch her as we drove by - we certainly had no job to offer her - we all held our breath as we inched closer to her and suddenly I remembered that we had a bowl of fruit in the car, brought along for our long ride to the cities. I shouted “roll down the window - give her the banana” and relief flooded the car as the driver rolled down the window and gave this woman the fruit from our basket. It wasn't a lot - although it was all we had, but it sure felt a lot better than driving by, working hard to ignore her.

❦ Giving feels better than coveting.

Day 14 ❦ A simple gift can ease the aching heart.

Day 14

The Gift: Gave video to host family

I cannot decide which is easier - to host an exchange student who has a challenging personality, one who just clashes with host families and we are all relieved when they leave to go home - or hosting an exchange student with whom we bond, care about deeply and grieve when they leave. Really the question is - do I prefer short term pain over long term heartache? Both have their value I suppose. But I can see that the host families of our current student are all headed toward the latter. Perhaps that is why I am including so many gifts to host families in this first month of giving exercises, I know the value of the gift and know it is meaningful.

Last week I tried to deliver the video I had made to Nina’s last host family and no one was home. So while I was driving around today I noticed the video sitting on the front seat and decided to drop it off. When youth exchange students go through training to prepare for their experience they are told that they will impact at least one hundred people. One hundred people who will be exposed to their culture, their personality, their ambassadorship. I believe that this number is low. Not only do I believe that this number is low, I believe that those people who are impacted will all be touched deeply and personally. Nina’s current host mother has a personal assistant who plays a role in the family that is more like a family member than staff person. She is someone who has been impacted deeply by Nina. Her sadness over Nina’s pending departure is apparent. She was home when I delivered the video and she eagerly accepted the gift.

❦ A simple gift can ease the aching heart.

Day 13 ❦ Be childlike in your giving

Day 13

The Gift: Filled gumball machines with quarters at K-Mart

Yesterday, I told the first person (besides my husband) about my giving exercise and got an interesting response. I have been uncomfortable about telling anyone, because I don’t want them to question my giving, wondering if I am giving to them simply to fill my daily quota. I am also uncomfortable with telling anyone, because it has been my personal experience that once I have shared my idea with someone, it dilutes the idea and I lose a little of the driving energy. So it was with some trepidation that I shared with this person what I was doing. One of the things that I told her was that I had noticed that people were giving to me in greater proportion than before I began this exercise. No less than ten minutes later a complete stranger walked right up to us and handed me a pin and said that she wanted me to have this gift. Words cannot describe the surprise of my friend who stood speechless with her jaw on the ground as this unknown woman walked away. She turned to me and said, “So I guess this is part of the giving thing you were describing.” It was hysterical.

I spent most of the rest of the day writing about all of the giving and receiving experiences I had had and the day slipped by. It was eight o’clock in the evening on a holiday Monday before I realized that I had not yet discovered a giving opportunity and went out in search of one. As I pulled into the K-Mart parking lot I realized that I really wanted to do something kind of goofy, kind of silly, but still wasn't sure what would develop. I went into the store to get a few things and as I was at the checkout I asked for three dollars in quarters. An idea formed. As I left the store, I filled the row of gumball machines with quarters - just waiting for the next little child to come along and wistfully turn the knob wishing that they had twenty-five cents to out in the machine. I giggled all the way to my car. Now, for all you parents out there who do not want your children to be recipients of this type of gift - I have to tell you that I am also a parent who would be suspect of my child excitedly running up to me with this type of gift in their hands. Tough. I needed to be silly and was.

❦ Be childlike in your giving