It really is the thought that matters...

These flowers decorated a pavillion in rural Nicaragua
making me feel like royalty

Today, I was reminded how powerful the gift of kindness is and what it feels like to be the recipient of a very simple and effective gift...by a total stranger.

Day 54 ❦ A reward can double as a gift

Day 54       ❦      A reward can double as a gift

The Gift: A Staples Gift Certificate

As a trainer and facilitator I often order training supplies on behalf of the organization or client for whom I am working. I order almost all of my supplies from Staples because they are so convenient. Living in rural Minnesota, we don’t have a lot of options for almost everything so when I moved here I quickly became a fan of mail order. Now before you ask – I am probably the biggest supporter of buying local – period. But, if the product in the quality that I need is not available when I need it – I have to develop a plan b. Staples is just such a plan b – not only do I get free and quick delivery, but I can place my order on-line at a time that works for me – which is usually well into the late night hours. They also have a member reward program which I like quite a bit. So what does this have to do with giving?

Since much of the ordering I am doing is with other people’s money as part of their project – I think about what to do with the substantial gift certificates I get in their member reward program – it always feels like a bonus when they arrive and I certainly appreciate getting the rewards.

This evening I was at a Board meeting for a pre-school that my daughter attends. Apple Lane is also an organization that I helped to acquire their non-profit status and sit on their Board of Directors and I really appreciate all that they do not only for me and my family, but for the entire community. During the directors report I learned that teacher appreciation day was coming up and there was no money in the budget to support getting each teacher a little gift. I reached into my purse and pulled out the $112 Staples reward coupon that had arrived in the mail earlier in the day and turned it over to the Director to purchase goodies for the teachers. What fun!

❦      A reward can double as a gift

Day 52 ❦ Sometimes a gift is a mystery even when you know what it is

Day 52 ❦ Sometimes a gift is a mystery even when you know what it is

The Gift: An infusor

Have you ever had one of those days? Well apparently, I was having just one of those kind of days today. When I was in the middle of the 100 Days of Giving exercise, I would often give the gift that became apparent during the day and would write down what the gift was, with some notes just like in the giving journal which I have posted. Well, today I did nothing of the sort. I simply wrote that I gave Alison an infusor.

Not only do I not remember that gift, I don’t even know what an infusor is! I am pretty good about making up words and then being able to use them in context - but there is no context here. Oh well, sure hope she enjoyed it and I do hope I figure out what it is at some point and I especially hope that I can figure out why it was important to give my daughter an infusor.

❦ Sometimes a gift is a mystery even when you know what it is

Day 48 ❦ Simple gifts...big appreciation

Day 48 ❦ Simple gifts...big appreciation

The Gift: Kitchen scissors

My family probably spends more time in the kitchen than anywhere else in the house. We love to cook, interact while cooking and we especially love to eat and entertain around food. The funny part about that is that I have a kitchen the size of a postage stamp. The first thing that most first-time visitors to my home say is...how do you cook the things that you do in a kitchen this size? Usually the second thing that we are asked is about our one bathroom, but that is a story for another day.

Once you have seen a meal in process in the kitchen you will get it, but until you experience the efficiency that comes from cooking elaborate meals in a 10 x 10 kitchen, it is difficult to imagine. Everything has its place, and much like a finely choreographed ballet, every movement is coordinated. If we have visitors in the kitchen while a meal dance is going on, we have several stools where they can perch out of the way of the dancers and their tools.

It is during one of these dances, while preparing a several course meal with my husband that the request for this gift is issued...barked really. Even though everything has its place, we are missing a few key kitchen tools and I just have not ever thought about adding them...kitchen scissors being one of them.

Part of my kitchen dance almost always includes a scene with the large serrated bread knife slicing open some plastic packaging with a grand finale and bow if I don’t cut myself in the process. I have practiced this dance frequently...newbies to the kitchen dance have not had that same luxury...and today, as my husband and I dance around the kitchen, he slices open his finger while attempting to use the large serrated bread knife to open a plastic container. I won’t repeat what he said, but it sounded a lot like...”honey, I would sure love it if you would buy me kitchen scissors.”

I don’t know why I don’t have kitchen scissors in my house - it is just something I actually never thought of until he asked for this gift and so you can imagine my delight when while shopping today I noticed a display for kitchen scissors. Gifting opportunity done. I wrapped them up and presented this special gift to my husband who has taken the opportunity to use that gift every single day since then.


❦ Simple gifts can bring with them big appreciation

Day 47 ❦ Give and regain a sense of “normalcy”

Day 47 ❦ Give and regain a sense of “normalcy”

The Gift: All of the change in the bottom of my purse dumped into the March of Dimes container

It has been several days since I have written about the aftermath of the floods and the damage that we are seeing as the flood waters recede. Everywhere in town, there are piles of household goods, furniture, yard waste, carpets, drywall - everything and anything. The piles are being cleaned up daily, but they reemerge the next day. This weekend there will be a focused volunteer effort on cleaning homes and people are arriving from all over the midwest. It will be quite a sight and certainly a welcome relief - fatigue is thick in the air.

We are all tired especially knowing how much more there is to do before the weather turns very cold and it becomes even more difficult to do relief work. My husband has been spending hours with people who have lost everything and providing counseling to some of the relief workers too. While the flood waters covered the area it was easier to comprehend that we were under a state of emergency, but now as people can move around town and debris is removed, it is becoming more and more difficult to remember the devastation, yet the fatigue remains, the grief is beginning and there is much work yet to be done.

I am finding myself clinging onto anything that resembles “normalcy” and so when I am standing in line at the grocery store and I see the March of Dimes donation box I smile, thinking back to a time that seems so long ago now, when Shannon asked the clerk about what the March of Dimes was and she so gladly gave. It seems so normal to dump out my purse and put all of the change from the bottom into the donation box.

❦ Give and regain a sense of “normalcy

Day 43 ❦ Give thankfully

Day 43 ❦ Give thankfully

The Gift: African bracelets

Life begins to get back to whatever the new normal is going to look like, for those of us not greatly impacted by the floods, it takes on a day to day feeling of normalness with an underpinning of sadness. The loss and devastation is everywhere in town - cars pushed through the flood waters sit in fields and storage sheds and furniture are caught in shrubbery and deposited alongside the banks of the flood waters in very weird places. It is not unusual to see a roof or door hanging from a tree. The entire area impacted by the floods is covered in a brown mucky mud.

I am going to return to normal tonight and am looking forward to the distraction of my book club meeting tonight. We are a book group that “reads to eat” and we usually pick titles that tie into some delicious food offerings. Tonight’s book is the DaVinci Code and we will have a special guest cook - my daughter who lived in France for a year will be making a few French delicacies for us.  Along with Alison, one of our exchange students who is visiting for the summer will be helping her cook.

Our book group is a friendly group - we have very few rules and we laugh a lot. It is always something for me to look forward to and after the events of the last few days, I need to let loose and laugh...which I do. After the meal, Alison and Sevy bring out the creme brule which they have just whipped up for dessert and which required their presence at book group. As a thank you I give each of them an African bracelet. A good time was had by all...and for a moment...life returned to normal.

❦ Give thankfully

An Interlude ❦ Today’s gift...breathe

An Interlude ❦ Today’s gift...breathe

I have been taking interludes on the weekends to give the weekly giving exercises a chance to breath and for readers to take the time needed to create and experience your own giving opportunities. But because of the place in the sequencing of the story of the flood, I decided to continue posting through the weekend and now take a moment to pause for that much needed interlude.

Today’s interlude is about the gift of breathing. Besides the obvious benefits of breathing...when I find myself dropping into the darkness, or just getting frustrated with anything...I remind myself to breathe. I have cheat sheets all over my home and office and have attached a picture of one that looks over my desk in my office...breathe...take care of yourself. Today take some time to reflect, take care of yourself and just breathe.

If you would like to do some reading while breathing, here are the top posts from this month:

• Be childlike in your giving...it will make you smile!

http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2440410872275813627#editor/target=post;postID=2894182321352373015

• Set a standard of giving...

http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2440410872275813627#editor/target=post;postID=3939275137677760684

• Just give something...

http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2440410872275813627#editor/target=post;postID=3286052917284436057

❦ Today’s gift...breathe

Day 41 ❦ A community bonds through giving of themselves

Day 41 ❦ A community bonds through giving of themselves

The Gift: Time

This morning we wake up to an eerie silence marred only by the sounds of generators echoing throughout the town...and of course, the helicopters. We have made the national news and my phone is ringing off the hook. Although the electricity has been cut and the entire town is cloaked in darkness, I still have a phone that functions because I have an old-fashioned land line for just this occasion. Most of the newer phones are cordless and when the electricity goes out - so does the phone service. Not here, not today and my phone is ringing off the hook. We have no television and although I have a radio - I have no pictures. It is nearly impossible to get around town and since I have a front row seat to the flooding here, I have only a small glimpse of what is really happening - days later when I see some of the photos, I am speechless. My phone is ringing off the hook with friends and family calling from all over the world to check in on us,  asking how they can help. We all feel so helpless because there is nothing we can do at the moment except prepare ourselves for the work ahead, and, to give of our time to support those who have lost everything...we need to just listen.

My husband is a mental health responder for Red Cross and he gets called in to work first thing in the morning - he ended up taking several weeks off of work because there was no way to get there from here, so he jumped right in volunteering for the Red Cross and started working as one of a team in a mobile van that traveled around to assess, and support those impacted.

We would learn later that 283 houses and 84 businesses were destroyed and at least 2 people had died, estimates of the damage aren’t even being talked about because the water is continuing to rise, albeit slower. When the water crests today the Cedar River hit record crest levels of 23.4 feet and the Turtle Creek crested at 14 feet. Main Street is at least 5 feet underwater and access to the hospital has been cut off for most of the community.

There is absolutely no damage to my home, however survivor guilt is beginning to sink in as the people whose homes are completely underwater on the other side of the street are coming to my yard and just staring at the devastation. And as their losses sink in, they want to process, talk to anyone, everyone and here I am. I have my cookstove running full-time right now making coffee and set up all of the lawn chairs I have on my yard.  I sit outside all day sharing coffee and listening to stories as people process the magnitude of the force that is Mother Nature.

❦ A community bonds through giving of themselves

Day 37 ❦ Giving can lift the blahness

Day 37 ❦ Giving can lift the blahness

The Gift: A cash donation to the Humane Society

After so many philosophical gifts over the past few weeks, today I  “cashed out”. It was so sad to see my friends leave to go back home to Baltimore, there is a lull in the summer action (or at least there was today...little did I know what Mother Nature had in store for Austin in a few days...and all of the giving opportunities that awaited) and I was mired in a state of blahness. Now, I know that is not a word and I am also aware that throughout this journal, I have made up several words...or at least I have had to add a bunch of words to my computer’s vast vocabulary, but the word blahness as in “being in a state of” just fits for today.

Going to the grocery store, which is usually one of my favorite activities, feels grey, the drive home is uneventful and the house is so quiet...I am surrounded by blahness. When I play Scrabble with my sister-in-law, when we make up a word it stays on the board if we can use the word in a sentence and then describe what the word means...therefore, under those rules, I now declare “blahness” a word which in the worst case scenario in Scrabble will net me 13 points. I am surrounded by blahness and really struggling to even think about giving...but here I am persevering in this exercise of giving every day.

So imagine my delight when a knock at the door reveals a few neighborhood children soliciting pledges for a walk this weekend for the Humane Society...yeah! Instead of pledging, I give them an outright cash gift (because a pledge wouldn’t count until the gift had actually left my hands) and the blahness lifted. Just like that - it felt like magic - I gave and the blahness lifted!

❦ Giving can lift the blahness.

Authors note: Since I officially used my new word blahness 8 times in this post I was able to declare it a word and successfully used it during a recent Scrabble game for 54 points.

Day 33 ❦ Some gifts are just simply a surprise.

Day 33

The Gift: A wall hanging.

Earlier I mentioned that almost immediately after I started this exercise, people began responding in unusual ways that not only did I notice, but in ways that my friends and family began commenting on. Today was just such a day.

My college roommate Cheryl and her husband and their two daughters were visiting us in Minnesota. They had just been visiting relatives at a family reunion in North Dakota and stopped by on the long drive back to the east coast. I always enjoy spending time with them. The kind of friendship that I have with Cheryl is the kind that everyone should have. We can go for years without talking and when we do connect, it seems like we have spent everyday of our lives talking. The friendship is easy, fun and filled with admiration and respect for each other.

I have been looking forward to their arrival since I learned they were going to be passing through and was even more excited when I realized that they were going to be in town during the huge SPAM Jam that happens every now and then in Austin, Minnesota; home of Hormel Foods Company which makes SPAM right here in Austin. The festivities take place over several days and we are going to the carnival first today. There are rides, games and entertainment happening all over the park, the weather is a little hot but sunny and there are people everywhere. The girls are having a blast and I am enjoying watching my friends as they take in all that is SPAM, SPAM carving contests, SPAM eating contests and the SPAMettes performing SPAM songs from the amphitheater. Then, from nowhere a man walks up to me and gives me a beautiful 4x6 inch wall hanging. As he hands it to me he say, “I am giving this to you to give to someone else” and walks away.

I do not recognize the man and I am too stunned to run after him to ask his name, so I stand there and look at the wall hanging. It is a small framed drawing of a peaceful looking little girl with two angels looking over her. I had all kinds of things I was thinking about gifting today and yet this seemed too perfect an opportunity to pass up. So I went to the rides area and watched to find a Mom who looked a little frazzled and stressed. It did not take long to find her. I walked up to her and handed her the wall hanging and told her that I was instructed to give her that gift and then I turned and walked away. For the rest of the day I neither ran into the man from whom I had received the gift, nor the woman to whom I had passed it along. I did find myself laughing out loud several times in disbelief that I had been the person to whom the gift had been handed to pass along.

❦ Some gifts are just simply a surprise for both the giver and the receiver.

Day 32 ❦ Simple acts can help the environment too.

Day 32

The Gift: Milk Caps

I have already mentioned that I am a saver. In addition to saving everything, I also save trash from its final destination. So, the drawer by the kitchen sink is filled with Campbell Soup labels and milk tops that have been collecting for years. Today, as I try to fill the void that is huge in the house that our exchange student just left I am trying to find something to clean. I turn to vacuuming first and cleaning drawers and closets next when I need to be in control of something. Vacuuming works the best because I can always see that I have accomplished something as the vacuum works the room.

However, today, my floors are spotless - apparently I have needed to control something for several days and have vacuumed everything in sight. So, cleaning the closets are the next best thing - but as I go from one closet to the next, I realize that they are going to take more emotional energy than I have today, so I am going to focus my efforts on the smallest drawer in the kitchen...which I can’t open it is so jammed with “stuff.” Once I jimmy the drawer open, pour out the contents and sort the junk into themes - obvious throw-a-ways, interesting stuff to go back in the drawer, birthday candles and pens I am left with hundreds of milk tops and Campbell Soup labels. The perfect gifts! I will have to wait until school starts to give the Campbell Soup labels but there are easily twenty dollars in five cent milk tops. I bag them up and take them straight away to a local preschool which can turn them in for playground equipment and other educational items. There was no one around to receive the gift, and so I leave the bag on the Director’s desk. Giving anonymously is not prohibited. I find myself leaving thrilled that I was able to gift my trash knowing that it will keep on giving once the caps are turned in for items and also reduce the burden on the landfill. Wow, a double-bonus.

❦ Simple acts and simple gifts can help the environment too.

Day 30 ❦ Share your heart

Day 30

The Gift: A farewell event

I have avoided writing about this for a while but today has come and I can not avoid it anymore. Today is the day that Nina, our exchange student from Denmark leaves. Now I know that I am writing this at the risk of having all of our other exchange students read this thinking that their departure was less significant. They were not. Nina just happened to be our student who left during the time that I was writing this and practicing the exercise of giving.

When our students arrive for the year and I greet them at the airport, they are tired, scared and usually a little bewildered. Here they are - in a new country with people they do not know, speaking a language that they do not get - and this is their new home, their new family for an entire year. At that moment a year seems like it will be an eternity, and there are certainly days when it feels like that on all sides of the exchange. But on that first day it is impossible to fathom how absolutely hard the next trip to the airport will be. Well, today is that day.

All of the new security at the airport has made it even more difficult because we used to be able to morosely sit around at the gate crying, waiting, and giving final hugs as the student boarded the plane. We would then all stand and watch as the plane’s hatches closed and slowly pulled away from the terminal tears streaming down all of our faces. One year one of our student’s friends arrived at the gate after she had boarded and begged boarding passengers to tell her that they were there so she could come out and give them one last goodbye (which both they and she did).

Now, we can not avail ourselves of this transitional, painful time. Now we get to stand and watch as our students get searched, wanded, as they strip off their shoes and belts, and have the pins on their exchange jackets confiscated. A stark contrast. Regardless, the final goodbye at the airport is hard beyond words.

When a student leaves their family and friends for a year, it is courageous and hard for all - but in the back of everyone’s minds, the student will return, albeit changed. When that same student leaves us to return home - we  know that we may never see them again and it tears up my heart every time. Several of our students have returned and I hold on to that hope of seeing all of them again. Nina is no exception. We are all going to miss Nina and the ride to the airport is quiet and miserable with an underlying excitement that is natural since she will be returning to family and friends she has not seen for a year. Hugely conflicting emotions swirl in the car.

We have learned that the more people at the airport, the more difficult it is for the student as they begin their long journey home, having to deal with the travel part of the experience, focusing on checking in, getting their luggage straightened out and making the emotional shift. So today, it is only my oldest daughter, Alison and myself who are taking Nina to the airport. There are extended moments of quiet and reflection and we accept those awkward moments. Nina is torn between talking about things and people she will miss while talking about those she is looking forward to seeing. So we naturally settle on talking about food. The love of good food is such a universal concept. She lists all of the food she loved while in the United States and what she will eat first when she is home. The two hour drive to the airport goes by quickly.

As a way of breaking up the tension, we go to my favorite eating experience near the airport - Rainforest Café. It is a great place to go as a distraction with thunderstorms raining down, apes grunting, elephants bellowing, and dolphins playing. For desert we order a volcano which is a huge pile of ice cream, chocolate, brownies, whipped cream all with a sparkler on top. A great way to go out. Off to the airport, lots of waiting, lots of haggling with airport personnel and baggage handlers, dealing with the other exchange students and their sad friends and families, and finally they all clear security and all we can do is wave from a distance and know that they are now on the next part of their trip. The emotional cost of the day is huge. I have to remind myself that the depth of the pain is in direct proportion to the depth of the love. Today the gift is both giving and receiving love.

❦ Share your heart

Third Interlude ❦ Family, giving and sharing

Today I am including the most popular posts related to family so far. There are so many wonderful stories ahead of us that I don't want to lose sight of some of the important stories that have already been told. Enjoy and spend some time today thinking about family (however you define family), giving and sharing.

Giving to your family:

http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2440410872275813627#editor/target=post;postID=26400597136039269

Surprise your family:

http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2440410872275813627#editor/target=post;postID=4121839008592546887

More surprises:

http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2440410872275813627#editor/target=post;postID=8202414738152771114

And, even more surprises:

http://onehundreddaysofgiving.blogspot.com/2012/09/day-21-giving-presents-many-surprises.html

Caring for your "inner child"

http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2440410872275813627#editor/target=post;postID=904027214041738161

❦ Family, giving and sharing

Day 29 ❦ Value devoid of judgement provides many giving opportunities.

Day 29

The Gift: A trivet holder

After influencing world peace yesterday, any gift I give today will seem mundane. And so in an effort to take the value judgement out of the giving, perhaps an ordinary day of giving is just what I need. Today’s simple gift is a cute palm decorated trivet holder that I purchased many weeks ago because I liked the way it looked, but never found a suitable purpose for. This item has been sitting in the stacks of stuff in my office waiting to be processed, dispatched, completed or thrown away.

Looking around my office trying to decide what to give today - the trivet presented itself not only as a gift but with a recipient attached to it.  It was very odd to look at the trivet holder purchased so many weeks ago that had my name on it - suddenly change to a gift that had someone else’s name on it - in fact, so obviously with someone else’s name on it. Usually if I looked at a recent purchase which no longer had my name on it - I would have simply returned it. I am the queen of returns and really get satisfaction out of returning something that I am willing to admit was just an impulse purchase with little lasting value. This is a new phenomenon, however.

Several years ago, I would have simply packaged up an impulse purchase in a box and then sold it later at a yard sale for one-hundredth the original purchase price. It always made me feel kind of bad to do that, but I told myself that I was embarrassed to return something. In fact, returning something was like admitting I had done something wrong, I had made a bad decision - so once I learned to take the value judgement off of the “wrong” of returning items - I began to revel in the concept that not only was it okay to change my mind, but I could also get my money back when I did change my mind. Well, I was probably in the phase of deciding to return this cute trivet holder when I looked at it with new eyes and realized that it would be a perfect giving opportunity for my oldest daughter, who had also though it to be very cute. Viola, giving complete. She appreciated the gift and in her appreciation erased any value judgement that I may have had held.

❦ Value devoid of judgement provides many giving opportunities.

Day 28 ❦ A simple gift can influence world peace

Day 28

The Gift: Three Deecha Dolls

Deecha Doll (Dee-cha)
A child's imagination takes shape...
...outside the lines.

Deecha Dolls were first introduced to me in the fall of 2002. Created by a woman in Wisconsin, they are soft cuddly creatures that resemble children’s depictions and drawings of themselves and their favorite animals. My Rotary Group Study Exchange team used them to make connections between Minnesota/Wisconsin and Ghana school children. Just before we left in the spring of 2003, several of us took the Deecha Dolls into third, fourth and fifth grade classrooms around the state and asked school children to tell the Deecha Dolls stories of their lives and to write those stories for the Deechas to pass along to children in Ghana. I have some spectacular pictures of third graders holding the Deechas in their laps while they read the stories of their lives to the stuffed creatures.

We took the hundreds of stories with the Deechas to Ghana and shared the stories and Deechas. The Ghanian school children then wrote their own stories for us to bring back and share with the students here. All of the stories are moving and this exercise really opened my eyes to the ease of solving world tensions. I have several Deecha Dolls left from the experience that I use when I do public speaking engagements about my experience.

This afternoon, my daughter Shannon invited Julia (the girl from yesterday’s story) to come over and play. After a while there were several little girls running all over the yard, laughing, screaming, running and playing. Watching Julia and the other kids was very emotional. I decided that I wanted them to remember this closeness and bonding and when they came back inside - I gave all of the girls playing in my yard a Deecha and asked them to share the story of this day with the Deecha as a witness to happiness and an oracle for peace.

❦ A simple gift can influence world peace

Day 26 ❦ Today, share a new memory.

Day 26

The Gift: Two photo albums

Over the course of this one hundred days you may notice the theme of photos. I take photos all of the time and with all of the technology available am so appreciative that they are so easy to take. I can use my phone, webcam, a variety of cameras - but more importantly - I like to print them out...in fact, I love to print them out on photo paper, as pages in photo albums, on cards, anywhere. I think if I got into scrap booking I would be dangerous but I stop at photo albums and giving people envelopes of pictures.

Despite the ease with which I can take a photo, I can just as easily lose that same photo and I think that is one of the things that drives the gift today. How often does a computer crash? A phone is dropped into water and all photos disappear? A camera battery dies and now real photo printing no longer exists for all of those negatives I have stored. But an even greater thing drives my craziness for taking and giving photos in photo albums...I have only 2 photos of me as a child and I miss being able to connect visually with that part of me.

There are few words to describe what it is like to lose your childhood at nine when the Sheriff stands at your door with a lock and announces to the world that you no longer call this place home and that all of your belongings will be sold to someone who can pay for them. My life and photos all put up for sale in the blink of an eye. Now granted, I may not particularly want to revisit those times in photos, but as an adult, I would like to just once peer into the eyes of that little girl and see if I can remember who she was, what she was thinking. I would love to be able to pull out photos of me and compare them with those of my children and their children like we can with my husband’s photos. I would love to be able to laugh about the silly things, blush at the embarrassing things and coo over the cute things captured in photos - but that was taken away from me as it has been for many children whose homes have been foreclosed on, who have lost everything in floods, fires and devastation. All we can do is move forward to provide opportunities for others to be able to laugh, blush and coo over the pictures of their lives. And, that is what this gift is about today - I gave 2 photo albums filled with photos of wonderful memories to our exchange student and oldest daughter so that they can look into the eyes of a child whose experiences are vast...and remember.

  ❦ Today, share a new memory.

Day 25 ❦ Giving creates memories

Day 25

The Gift(s): A set of cookbooks.

Today we had a going away party for our exchange student, Nina. All of her host families and many of her friends came to say goodbye. It is hard to even write this without missing her. The most difficult part of hosting an exchange student is saying goodbye for the last time. No matter how much time goes by, I miss all of the students we have hosted. We will miss Nina deeply.

Nina loves to cook. We spent many, many hours cooking all kinds of traditional Danish, French and American meals. Our daughter Alison, returned from her year on exchange to France with fantastic French cooking skills and she has enjoyed sharing her skills with us - so the three of us have really enjoyed cooking together, feeding the masses and watching the delight on the faces of our guests as we bring out course after course of spectacular food. Nina, by the way, does not like the word spectacular. But spectacular is one of the best adjectives to describe what the three of us cooked up.

When Alison was in France, she also enjoyed cooking traditional American meals for her families and has shared that some of her fondest memories are those of preparing a Thanksgiving meal, baking chocolate chip cookies or brownies for her families - or whipping up macaroni and cheese that I would occasionally send her. She brought as a gift for her families a cookbook that we have used in our family for years. I wanted Nina to be able to share these same types of fond memories with her family in Denmark - so what better than to give her a couple of cookbooks. I really enjoyed giving this gift and hope that it will provide her many, many more hours of fun cooking for her friends and family in Denmark.

  ❦ Giving creates memories.

An Interlude - A review of the best

Today's Gift - a review of the most viewed posts so far. As I mentioned in the last interlude - I have begun a second cycle of 100 days of giving and while I should not be surprised by the impact and results, I remain continually and pleasantly surprised. The impact of focusing on giving every day and in return being open to receiving the giving others may have for you is life-changing. As simple as that - life-changing. Neither good nor bad but affirming, fulfilling and fun. I have found this exercise to again offer a new outlook to every day and gives me something to look forward to everyday...the surprise of it all. So in that vein, I present to you the top 4 posts of the first 28 posts:



By giving you give others permission to give too...
http://onehundreddaysofgiving.blogspot.com/2012/08/day-5-give-permission-to-others-to-give.html

What it feels like to overcome our self-talk about giving...
http://onehundreddaysofgiving.blogspot.com/2012/08/day-1when-i-give-i-feel-light.html

The one I had the most fun with...
http://onehundreddaysofgiving.blogspot.com/2012/09/day-13-be-childlike-in-your-giving.html

And, the inspiration of the exercise...
http://onehundreddaysofgiving.blogspot.com/2012/08/introduction-to-100-days-of-givingan.html

Day 24 ❦ Today, give to your family first.

Day 24

The Gift: A pair of jeans

Since I have shared the giving exercise with Shannon, I have decided to make her the recipient of receiving today. Both my husband and myself work in the human service industry and many times our jobs pull us away from our family’s needs to focus our attention on the people we serve. Sometimes our own children have to be patient, and since they are both very giving individuals, they usually understand.

Yesterday, when I told Shannon that we needed to find something or someone to give to, she immediately started listing off some of the children she knows who have needs that only kids know about. It really moved my heart to understand the depth of understanding that is shared amongst kids. When I was a child, I was one of those children that Shannon was concerned about having huge needs and her caring for that little kid in me really affected me. And the irony of all of this was that Shannon had been complaining almost daily about how much she needed jeans (which she did, growing as children do, three sizes this summer). Yesterday, when I told Shannon that we needed to find something or someone to give to - I absolutely expected her to proclaim herself as the primary recipient of the gift. She never mentioned herself. Time to put her in the front of the line.

I told her we had some errands to run (which of course is one of her least favorite things to hear from me) and we went shopping. She was really surprised as we headed to the girls section and wanted to know who we were going to be gifting today. She glowed when I told her that it was her day today. We had so much fun shopping and buying that precious pair of jeans.

❦ Today, give to your family first.

Day 23 ❦ When shared, small gifts can reap huge rewards.

Day 23

The Gift: Loose change in March of Dimes box

Today I told the third person about my giving exercise. I have been holding this very closely, so that people I know don’t question my motives when they receive a gift from me wondering if I am giving from my heart or out of obligation just to complete the exercise. Now, I will have to admit that when I first began this exercise, I thought that there would be times that I would be giving out of obligation - just to stay on track - and while I have had to intentionally seek out giving opportunities - obligation is a concept or feeling that has not ever been present. I have found that I feel full of gratitude when a giving opportunity presents itself.

So today, I went out on an intentional giving hunt. I packed my nine year old in the car and told her that I needed to find something or someone to give to. No other explanation, simply that we were going on a giving hunt. She so got into it. Her giving ideas were wide and varied and she was still dreaming about them while we went grocery shopping. At the check-out she noticed the change boxes that were posted by the cash register that were labeled “March of Dimes” and asked the clerk, “What is the March of Dimes”? At which the seventeen year old clerk looked up a little perplexed, realized what my daughter was talking about and thought for a minute. “I think it is an organization that helps little babies who have problems”, she responded. So Shannon decided that the March of Dimes really needed our money because she wanted to help little babies with problems and I promptly dumped all of my change in her hand for her to put in the box. Shannon and the clerk exchanged huge smiles as we walked away, Such a small gift, such huge rewards.... Several days later, while we were driving, a March of Dimes commercial came on the air and Shannon sat straighter in her seat and excitedly proclaimed that we had helped them, “remember Mom, at the grocery store?”, smiling again.

  ❦ When shared, small gifts can reap huge rewards.