Day 92 ❦ Just Take Care of Someone Today

Day 92 ❦ Just Take Care of Someone Today

The Gift: Mama Caruso’s Love...and magical care kit.

In my other life, I am Mama Caruso - an Italian Mama who just can’t help herself and take care of everyone. The Italian Mama is influenced in part by the many Jewish Mamas I had in my life all fawning over me - both groups making sure that I was well fed, especially when I was sick. So I just can’t help it when I hear that someone is sick - I just want to drop everything and start making chicken noodle soup.

I have been looking forward to my coffee time today with a friend I haven’t seen in a while. She has been going through a lot of life transitions and has a full life so finding time to carve out for just the two of us to sit and talk is special time. This coffee time has been on my calendar for weeks and I have scheduled my entire week around making sure I am available for this session.

So, when the phone rang and it was my friend canceling because she was sick - I kicked straight into Mama Mode and because I had scheduled the time, I had the time. Before I set the phone down, the chicken noodle soup was in the making, the heating pad and Vicks was packed up and every kind of cold medicine, throat lozenge and flu relief was put into a magical care bag. Gatorade, 7-up and straws completed the package. Now off to the store to pick up some junk magazines to take her mind off of the pain and Mama Caruso is in her element working to relieve pain and discomfort. Giving opportunity checked off too.

❦ Just Take Care of Someone Today

Day 91 ❦ Make it Simple and Give

Day 91 ❦ Make it Simple and Give

The Gift: Wood Carving to Nature Center

We are so fortunate in our community to have as many opportunities for recreation here. Moving from Boulder, I was not sure how the outdoors would compare, but Minnesota has held her own...albeit in different ways. The dense lush pine forests, the rolling waves of the large lakes that make you feel like you are near the ocean and the crystal clear creeks and brooks that house some of the best fish in the world - all surround us here. Except that I moved to the only County in Minnesota without a naturally occurring lake...really??? Funny. But we do get to the lakes and campgrounds all over the state and have enjoyed the beauty and magnitude of Mother Nature.

As if to make up for the lack of lakes in my community, we have parks, parks, parks and we have the J.C. Hormel Nature Center which is a little utopia. Deer, turkey and birds of all kind are plentiful and the prairie mixes with the woods and the river running through it. The Nature Center offers cross-country skiing in the winter, canoeing in the summer, butterfly tagging in the spring and tapping trees for maple syrup in the fall. School groups come out for educational lessons and during the time of Halloween, the Nature Center partners with Matchbox Children’s Theater and hosts an evening “walk in the woods” complete with skits and spooky characters and wacky animals running around teaching us all something.

Several years ago, I brought some visitors from Bangladesh to the Nature Center for a walk and they were so taken by the beauty, peace and expanse of the Nature Center, they turned an hour respite into an all day experience when they refused to leave after their time was done. Apparently, they decided that their time was not done and they spent six hours wandering and absorbing everything they could to bring back home to share with their friends and family. It’s just that kind of place. So needless to say, when I received a phone call from a volunteer at the Nature Center soliciting gifts for the upcoming auction - I was in. It took me only a moment to look through my African box of goodies to settle on a beautify wood carving. Sometimes giving is just that easy.

❦ Make it Simple and Give

Day 90 ❦ Give and Inspire Others

Day 90 ❦ Give and Inspire Others

The Gift: Cash for Flood Victims Times Two

As a result of the recent gifting by Rotary to the flood victims, the continuing plight of those impacted by the floods in Austin has received a lot of media attention. As with most disasters, the media is all over it when there are devastating pictures, tears, and heart-breaking stories but absent when the pain remains and the photo ops are gone. Perhaps the Rotary gifting opportunity created new reasons for the media to stand up and again highlight the pain that remains so that the community consciousness can be piqued. For whatever reason, a number of organizations are again doing some fund-raising for the on-going needs of the flood victims, especially those who need mittens, hats and coats as we approach the winter in Minnesota.

Our youngest daughter has been learning about money. Now this girls is a money magnet - odd jobs and gifts come her way all of the time and as a young child, she has some significant spending power. So we decided to work with her on a plan to think about how she spends, saves and gives and we are encouraging her to actively give a percentage of all of her income. She has taken this seriously and has become a very considerate giver. She enjoys learning about what her money is going to do and especially likes talking to the people who will be using her funding to do something meaningful. Today is no exception.

Now Shannon was aware of what was happening with the Rotary gift bags because she helped to stuff the bags with all of the Christmas goodies - both of our daughters spent an evening with Rotarians filling the bags. And to a sensitive child with a huge heart, the thought of people who did not have food or Christmas tree decorations was almost more than she could bear. (Author’s Note: Shortly after this experience, we were in Washington D.C. and when Shannon saw her first homeless person on the streets with a sign asking for money for food, she handed him her lunch which we had just bought at the Spy Museum.)

So today as I drive through a coffee shop after picking Shannon up from school, I notice a box collecting donations for mittens for the flood victims and ask that my change be put in the box. Shannon asks the clerk at the counter about the box and who the money will be going for and when she is satisfied that it is legit, she takes her mittens off, hands them to me to put in the box and then digs out the $9 that she has been carrying around looking for a cause to give to. I match her gift with both my gloves and an additional $9 and we drive away. Pretty cool day, and hopefully, warmer for someone.

❦ Give and Inspire Others

Day 89 ❦ Give Political Action

Day 89 ❦ Give Political Action

The Gift: Vote Buttons

I am always amazed at the power of a vote. Now I know we have had some sketchy elections lately in which courts have been involved instead of the “people” and the electoral college has made decisions that may not be consistent with the popular vote, but I am an idealist. I believe that every vote matters. Every one no matter how you vote. So you can imagine my delight when I was at a conference recently where they were selling VOTE buttons for November 2nd. I bought every one they had, not sure about what I was going to do with them. I have been carrying them around in my purse since.

Tonight I am going to attend a League of Women Voter’s meeting where they are going to be talking about voter registration initiatives for the upcoming elections and I am excited to hear about all that they have planned. With this group I am among a group of people who are like-minded, they also believe in the power of the vote, recently sharing the movie Iron Jawed Angels, a documentary of the women behind moving women’s vote to the forefront. Imagine, it was not that long ago that women could not vote, and more recently, that people whose skin is black. Wow - think about it. Combine the increased voting pool with the power of the vote and we should be moving mountains in this country. But alas, I am surrounded by skeptics and zero sum thinkers - so I need to confront that. Maybe that is why I am tired - I need to surround myself with “can-do” people, and the League of Women Voters are just such a group. As we go around the room and do introductions, I pull all of the buttons out of my purse and distribute them...this was really fun!

❦ Your vote counts!

Day 88 ❦ Share some loyalty today

Day 88 ❦ Share some loyalty today

The Gift: An oil change

Giving every day has certainly got me thinking differently about coupons. For a while during my undergraduate college days I lived on coupons. In fact, all of the girls in the house in which I lived planned out our meals, which were planned around the coupons that we were able to scrounge up. Meat was very expensive then, or so it seemed and while I was a vegetarian, I found myself scarfing down on beef liver when we could get it at a really great price (and enough onions to mask the taste...). Now when I say that I was a vegetarian, it was more because I had not gown up eating a lot of meat and simply didn't have a taste for it, that continued on until my first pregnancy when all I craved was hard salami.

Okay, so I was talking about coupons. After college and moving out to Boulder, I was able to get a pretty good job as a CFO of a large privately held business and finally made enough money to buy a car, I only had a bike prior to that for transportation, I bought my first television, which remains the only television in my house eighteen years later, and coupons went by the wayside. Then I moved to the small rural community in which I live where customer loyalty and service is really important to the local shops.

It was very odd moving from Boulder where I never knew my neighbors names, and the people were really transient to a small rural community where everyone knows everyone. Literally everyone knows everyone and most really care about who we are as people. In a community like this, coupons take on a new meaning, they become real and valuable loyalty bonuses, buy 10, get one free, buy 4 of something, get one free and my favorite, the subject of this story, have your oil changed 4 times get the next one free. Now this is not just “special” customers, although we are that, we have a fleet of 3 cars and we get our oil changed every 3,000 miles - that is how we get 300,000 miles out of our cars, this loyalty bonus comes in the form of a card that can be given to anyone and it has real value. And today, I had my oil changed and received one of those cards.

Giving opportunity in hand, I went in search of someone who could use it and decided to go over to the church that I have been attending and give it to the Pastor to give to someone. Who knows who got it, but I am certain that it was appreciated and useful to someone. Yipiee!

❦ Share some loyalty today.

Day 87 ❦ Fill Someone’s Cup...or Boot

Day 87 ❦ Fill Someone’s Cup...or Boot

The Gift: Change/Coins

Today my giving opportunity came right over to my car while I was sitting at a red light. I am going to count this opportunity, although I do not know if I could say I gave it willingly, nor happily. I live on a little one-way side street in our town. The address is very difficult to find because there are only a few houses on the one-way and  the street is a small half circle in a town whose streets all face north and south or east and west. I like it that way. But this week, I don’t like living where I live because I have to turn from one of the busiest intersections in town at one of the only stop lights in town.

I have just finished grocery shopping and am stopped at the stoplight, several cars from the beginning of the line, fortunately, at least I have time to start digging. Ahead of me I can see firemen, we have no firewomen in town (can you believe I actually had to add that word - firewoman, to my spell check dictionary??). The fire trucks are stopped at the intersection and the firemen are all out of the truck. They are approaching each stopped car in full gear with a fire boot, going car to car asking for drivers to fill their boot. On the corner, I see one of the guys working the traffic controls, so I know I am going to sit here until I cough up some money.

Now, I have no grudges against the fire department, in fact, I appreciate them very much and have had several occasions to call them to my home, again stories for another day. But I travel enough and go through my ”smart-traveler” safety in my mind that I get a little panicky when I feel like I am being held hostage. And, because of an incident years ago when myself and another relative were kidnapped at gun-point and held for a brief period of time - I find myself having an uncomfortable reaction when I feel like I am going to be taken again. So as the fireman approaches my car, which is going to be held here until I comply and put money into the boot I panic. My palms start to sweat, I can’t breathe and my brain is racing. Frantically digging through my purse, I realize that I have no cash - I’d had to write a check at the grocery store...what am I going to do. He is almost at my window and I start digging through the box that I keep between my two front seats looking for anything to put in there. I can’t breathe.

I am mortified and embarrassed as he approaches my window and signals me to roll it down. All I have is a handful of change which I drop in his boot. As I do so, I realize I am almost on the verge of tears and I can’t stop shaking...great - he is going to think I was caught doing something wrong and have his friend at the police station check up on me. I know now that that is really irrational thinking, but I am in the midst of a full blown panic attack. I quickly roll up mu window, lock my doors and count to ten before I open my eyes. Shortly after that, the light turns green and we are released and I go home. It takes a little bit before I can sink back into my skin. For all that excitement, I am going to use that as my giving opportunity today. Giving done. Willfully and gratefully, no, but giving done.

❦ Breathe.

When Life is Difficult...Give Even More

Yesterday in real time, 2013, April 15th to be specific...we were attacked...again. The overwhelm of the media, the pictures, the crying, the blood, the fear, the angst, the loss, the grief can easily sweep us all into a very dark place and we can't let that happen. We need to be able to find reasons to wake up and function and breathe. Without diminishing the pain and the loss...we still need to be giving human beings in the world...as crazy as the world may be. So in our own pain, embracing our own losses, we need to give. That is what this entire exercise is about...stepping outside of ourselves and reaching out to someone who may be in even more pain, who may be more frightened and who may be at risk of not breathing.

I am reprising a post that I published a few weeks ago. It is relevant today. If it does not strike a cord in you, look through the previous 85 days if you need to find inspiration, a reason to give, a reason to step outside of your own darkness and breath life, light and hope into someone else s life.

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Give and when life is difficult give even more...