Day 10 - ❦ Give unexpectedly

Day 10

The Gift(s): A Staples Gift Card to my daughter and money to get into a dance to our nephew and daughter.

My husband and I were at the grocery store today and I commented to him that since I started this giving exercise, it seemed like people were being nicer to me. He laughed because he was getting ready to ask my why I thought everyone we passed was smiling at me and saying hello. He had noticed a distinct change in my relationship with others and in return theirs with me. Not that I was not a nice person before this exercise began, quite the contrary, I usually smile and wave at people I know and oftentimes at people I don’t know. I routinely have courteous interactions every day with many people. But this day was different and it has continued. I can only describe it as a quality of interaction. A deeper, more meaningful, caring interaction.  The same people saying hello with a deeper acknowledgment, smiling a little longer, making an extra effort to have eye contact when it would have been easier to look down or away. Pretty cool, totally unexpected.


The giving opportunities today revealed themselves easily, and in fact, they were too easy, so I had to second guess them and questions whether or not they were “real” giving opportunities.

• Does giving to my children count as a real giving opportunity?
• Does paying for my children and relatives to participate in an activity count as a giving
               opportunity?

Yes, and yes,  In both instances, the gift was unexpected, unasked for and given without strings - a selfless act for all participants in the transaction. My daughter had already decided that she needed to purchase something at Staples and was planning to spend her own money. It just so happened that I had the gift card sitting in my wallet from a returned item, it just seemed like the right thing to do at the right time.

The dance posed a little different dilemma, I wanted our oldest daughter Alison to take our nephew Les to the dance. An ulterior motive was established. Les was a fourteen year old teenager at the time who liked to experience anything and everything when he comes to visit (and he still does, right now he is in Cambodia with the Peace Corps). He is great to have around because he will go anywhere with us - to the grocery store, to recycle, to the parade, just everywhere. As a result of this it is easy to overlook things that he might really want to do because he does not assert himself or his desires - he is just content to do whatever is happening. Now I know he really likes music, dancing and singing so I wanted him to go to the street dance on Friday night. I also knew that I did not want to go to the dance. Alison willingly said she would take him and as they were walking away to leave for the dance, I handed her twenty dollars to pay for the entry. I know they both would have paid themselves and that they both had money in their pockets, but I wanted to be their sponsor.

So does that count as a giving opportunity? I think so - the criteria that I am using is:

• Was it given willingly?
• Was it expected by the other party?
• Did it feel good to give and to receive? 
• The answer to all of these was yes, no, yes - so yes - it counts.

❦ Give unexpectedly.