Day 92 ❦ Just Take Care of Someone Today

Day 92 ❦ Just Take Care of Someone Today

The Gift: Mama Caruso’s Love...and magical care kit.

In my other life, I am Mama Caruso - an Italian Mama who just can’t help herself and take care of everyone. The Italian Mama is influenced in part by the many Jewish Mamas I had in my life all fawning over me - both groups making sure that I was well fed, especially when I was sick. So I just can’t help it when I hear that someone is sick - I just want to drop everything and start making chicken noodle soup.

I have been looking forward to my coffee time today with a friend I haven’t seen in a while. She has been going through a lot of life transitions and has a full life so finding time to carve out for just the two of us to sit and talk is special time. This coffee time has been on my calendar for weeks and I have scheduled my entire week around making sure I am available for this session.

So, when the phone rang and it was my friend canceling because she was sick - I kicked straight into Mama Mode and because I had scheduled the time, I had the time. Before I set the phone down, the chicken noodle soup was in the making, the heating pad and Vicks was packed up and every kind of cold medicine, throat lozenge and flu relief was put into a magical care bag. Gatorade, 7-up and straws completed the package. Now off to the store to pick up some junk magazines to take her mind off of the pain and Mama Caruso is in her element working to relieve pain and discomfort. Giving opportunity checked off too.

❦ Just Take Care of Someone Today

Day 91 ❦ Make it Simple and Give

Day 91 ❦ Make it Simple and Give

The Gift: Wood Carving to Nature Center

We are so fortunate in our community to have as many opportunities for recreation here. Moving from Boulder, I was not sure how the outdoors would compare, but Minnesota has held her own...albeit in different ways. The dense lush pine forests, the rolling waves of the large lakes that make you feel like you are near the ocean and the crystal clear creeks and brooks that house some of the best fish in the world - all surround us here. Except that I moved to the only County in Minnesota without a naturally occurring lake...really??? Funny. But we do get to the lakes and campgrounds all over the state and have enjoyed the beauty and magnitude of Mother Nature.

As if to make up for the lack of lakes in my community, we have parks, parks, parks and we have the J.C. Hormel Nature Center which is a little utopia. Deer, turkey and birds of all kind are plentiful and the prairie mixes with the woods and the river running through it. The Nature Center offers cross-country skiing in the winter, canoeing in the summer, butterfly tagging in the spring and tapping trees for maple syrup in the fall. School groups come out for educational lessons and during the time of Halloween, the Nature Center partners with Matchbox Children’s Theater and hosts an evening “walk in the woods” complete with skits and spooky characters and wacky animals running around teaching us all something.

Several years ago, I brought some visitors from Bangladesh to the Nature Center for a walk and they were so taken by the beauty, peace and expanse of the Nature Center, they turned an hour respite into an all day experience when they refused to leave after their time was done. Apparently, they decided that their time was not done and they spent six hours wandering and absorbing everything they could to bring back home to share with their friends and family. It’s just that kind of place. So needless to say, when I received a phone call from a volunteer at the Nature Center soliciting gifts for the upcoming auction - I was in. It took me only a moment to look through my African box of goodies to settle on a beautify wood carving. Sometimes giving is just that easy.

❦ Make it Simple and Give

Day 90 ❦ Give and Inspire Others

Day 90 ❦ Give and Inspire Others

The Gift: Cash for Flood Victims Times Two

As a result of the recent gifting by Rotary to the flood victims, the continuing plight of those impacted by the floods in Austin has received a lot of media attention. As with most disasters, the media is all over it when there are devastating pictures, tears, and heart-breaking stories but absent when the pain remains and the photo ops are gone. Perhaps the Rotary gifting opportunity created new reasons for the media to stand up and again highlight the pain that remains so that the community consciousness can be piqued. For whatever reason, a number of organizations are again doing some fund-raising for the on-going needs of the flood victims, especially those who need mittens, hats and coats as we approach the winter in Minnesota.

Our youngest daughter has been learning about money. Now this girls is a money magnet - odd jobs and gifts come her way all of the time and as a young child, she has some significant spending power. So we decided to work with her on a plan to think about how she spends, saves and gives and we are encouraging her to actively give a percentage of all of her income. She has taken this seriously and has become a very considerate giver. She enjoys learning about what her money is going to do and especially likes talking to the people who will be using her funding to do something meaningful. Today is no exception.

Now Shannon was aware of what was happening with the Rotary gift bags because she helped to stuff the bags with all of the Christmas goodies - both of our daughters spent an evening with Rotarians filling the bags. And to a sensitive child with a huge heart, the thought of people who did not have food or Christmas tree decorations was almost more than she could bear. (Author’s Note: Shortly after this experience, we were in Washington D.C. and when Shannon saw her first homeless person on the streets with a sign asking for money for food, she handed him her lunch which we had just bought at the Spy Museum.)

So today as I drive through a coffee shop after picking Shannon up from school, I notice a box collecting donations for mittens for the flood victims and ask that my change be put in the box. Shannon asks the clerk at the counter about the box and who the money will be going for and when she is satisfied that it is legit, she takes her mittens off, hands them to me to put in the box and then digs out the $9 that she has been carrying around looking for a cause to give to. I match her gift with both my gloves and an additional $9 and we drive away. Pretty cool day, and hopefully, warmer for someone.

❦ Give and Inspire Others

Day 89 ❦ Give Political Action

Day 89 ❦ Give Political Action

The Gift: Vote Buttons

I am always amazed at the power of a vote. Now I know we have had some sketchy elections lately in which courts have been involved instead of the “people” and the electoral college has made decisions that may not be consistent with the popular vote, but I am an idealist. I believe that every vote matters. Every one no matter how you vote. So you can imagine my delight when I was at a conference recently where they were selling VOTE buttons for November 2nd. I bought every one they had, not sure about what I was going to do with them. I have been carrying them around in my purse since.

Tonight I am going to attend a League of Women Voter’s meeting where they are going to be talking about voter registration initiatives for the upcoming elections and I am excited to hear about all that they have planned. With this group I am among a group of people who are like-minded, they also believe in the power of the vote, recently sharing the movie Iron Jawed Angels, a documentary of the women behind moving women’s vote to the forefront. Imagine, it was not that long ago that women could not vote, and more recently, that people whose skin is black. Wow - think about it. Combine the increased voting pool with the power of the vote and we should be moving mountains in this country. But alas, I am surrounded by skeptics and zero sum thinkers - so I need to confront that. Maybe that is why I am tired - I need to surround myself with “can-do” people, and the League of Women Voters are just such a group. As we go around the room and do introductions, I pull all of the buttons out of my purse and distribute them...this was really fun!

❦ Your vote counts!

Day 88 ❦ Share some loyalty today

Day 88 ❦ Share some loyalty today

The Gift: An oil change

Giving every day has certainly got me thinking differently about coupons. For a while during my undergraduate college days I lived on coupons. In fact, all of the girls in the house in which I lived planned out our meals, which were planned around the coupons that we were able to scrounge up. Meat was very expensive then, or so it seemed and while I was a vegetarian, I found myself scarfing down on beef liver when we could get it at a really great price (and enough onions to mask the taste...). Now when I say that I was a vegetarian, it was more because I had not gown up eating a lot of meat and simply didn't have a taste for it, that continued on until my first pregnancy when all I craved was hard salami.

Okay, so I was talking about coupons. After college and moving out to Boulder, I was able to get a pretty good job as a CFO of a large privately held business and finally made enough money to buy a car, I only had a bike prior to that for transportation, I bought my first television, which remains the only television in my house eighteen years later, and coupons went by the wayside. Then I moved to the small rural community in which I live where customer loyalty and service is really important to the local shops.

It was very odd moving from Boulder where I never knew my neighbors names, and the people were really transient to a small rural community where everyone knows everyone. Literally everyone knows everyone and most really care about who we are as people. In a community like this, coupons take on a new meaning, they become real and valuable loyalty bonuses, buy 10, get one free, buy 4 of something, get one free and my favorite, the subject of this story, have your oil changed 4 times get the next one free. Now this is not just “special” customers, although we are that, we have a fleet of 3 cars and we get our oil changed every 3,000 miles - that is how we get 300,000 miles out of our cars, this loyalty bonus comes in the form of a card that can be given to anyone and it has real value. And today, I had my oil changed and received one of those cards.

Giving opportunity in hand, I went in search of someone who could use it and decided to go over to the church that I have been attending and give it to the Pastor to give to someone. Who knows who got it, but I am certain that it was appreciated and useful to someone. Yipiee!

❦ Share some loyalty today.

Day 87 ❦ Fill Someone’s Cup...or Boot

Day 87 ❦ Fill Someone’s Cup...or Boot

The Gift: Change/Coins

Today my giving opportunity came right over to my car while I was sitting at a red light. I am going to count this opportunity, although I do not know if I could say I gave it willingly, nor happily. I live on a little one-way side street in our town. The address is very difficult to find because there are only a few houses on the one-way and  the street is a small half circle in a town whose streets all face north and south or east and west. I like it that way. But this week, I don’t like living where I live because I have to turn from one of the busiest intersections in town at one of the only stop lights in town.

I have just finished grocery shopping and am stopped at the stoplight, several cars from the beginning of the line, fortunately, at least I have time to start digging. Ahead of me I can see firemen, we have no firewomen in town (can you believe I actually had to add that word - firewoman, to my spell check dictionary??). The fire trucks are stopped at the intersection and the firemen are all out of the truck. They are approaching each stopped car in full gear with a fire boot, going car to car asking for drivers to fill their boot. On the corner, I see one of the guys working the traffic controls, so I know I am going to sit here until I cough up some money.

Now, I have no grudges against the fire department, in fact, I appreciate them very much and have had several occasions to call them to my home, again stories for another day. But I travel enough and go through my ”smart-traveler” safety in my mind that I get a little panicky when I feel like I am being held hostage. And, because of an incident years ago when myself and another relative were kidnapped at gun-point and held for a brief period of time - I find myself having an uncomfortable reaction when I feel like I am going to be taken again. So as the fireman approaches my car, which is going to be held here until I comply and put money into the boot I panic. My palms start to sweat, I can’t breathe and my brain is racing. Frantically digging through my purse, I realize that I have no cash - I’d had to write a check at the grocery store...what am I going to do. He is almost at my window and I start digging through the box that I keep between my two front seats looking for anything to put in there. I can’t breathe.

I am mortified and embarrassed as he approaches my window and signals me to roll it down. All I have is a handful of change which I drop in his boot. As I do so, I realize I am almost on the verge of tears and I can’t stop shaking...great - he is going to think I was caught doing something wrong and have his friend at the police station check up on me. I know now that that is really irrational thinking, but I am in the midst of a full blown panic attack. I quickly roll up mu window, lock my doors and count to ten before I open my eyes. Shortly after that, the light turns green and we are released and I go home. It takes a little bit before I can sink back into my skin. For all that excitement, I am going to use that as my giving opportunity today. Giving done. Willfully and gratefully, no, but giving done.

❦ Breathe.

When Life is Difficult...Give Even More

Yesterday in real time, 2013, April 15th to be specific...we were attacked...again. The overwhelm of the media, the pictures, the crying, the blood, the fear, the angst, the loss, the grief can easily sweep us all into a very dark place and we can't let that happen. We need to be able to find reasons to wake up and function and breathe. Without diminishing the pain and the loss...we still need to be giving human beings in the world...as crazy as the world may be. So in our own pain, embracing our own losses, we need to give. That is what this entire exercise is about...stepping outside of ourselves and reaching out to someone who may be in even more pain, who may be more frightened and who may be at risk of not breathing.

I am reprising a post that I published a few weeks ago. It is relevant today. If it does not strike a cord in you, look through the previous 85 days if you need to find inspiration, a reason to give, a reason to step outside of your own darkness and breath life, light and hope into someone else s life.

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Give and when life is difficult give even more...

Day 86 ❦ It’s a chocolate kind of day

Day 86 ❦ It’s a chocolate kind of day

The Gift: Chocolate bars abound

Today’s giving opportunity came to me yesterday when my daughter brought home a big box of chocolate bars to sell as a fund-raiser. I love fund-raisers where I can really get into what they are selling. And chocolate bars fit in that category.

So rather than have her go door to door (which I make her do with wreaths, candles, and booster books) selling these chocolate bars, I decided to buy the whole lot and have her go around the neighborhood and to our friends and family who have purchased tons and tons of “stuff” from her and our older daughter and just give the chocolate bars away as a thank you.

She started with our neighbor who has been so generous with her support - what fun! This is going to be a great day!

❦ You make lots of friends when you give away chocolate.

Day 85 ❦ Sometimes a problem can be another’s gift.

Day 85 ❦ Sometimes a problem can be another’s gift.

The Gift: Ink Cartridges

There are times when I am a contradiction in terms; sometimes simple and hippie-like and sometimes methodical and techie. Sometimes veggie and others, prime rib. One thing I can say though, is that whatever I am, I am passionate and usually just do it. It is rare when I second guess myself in my no-regrets living, and today’s giving opportunity is helping to take me off of the hook as I am caught between the two extremes that consume my life. The quandary is about the by-products of technology...what to do with all of these darn empty printer cartridges???

Despite my rather simple life-style and beliefs, like not owning a car for years, nursing my washing machine to last 25 years, and having only one ancient television in our entire house, I also find myself liking technology - some technology - the kind that really makes my life simpler, that is after the learning curve has been mastered.. I realize that I struggle more than most when it comes to learning curves. You see, I really dislike reading the instructions - I like things to be intuitive...perhaps that is why I wasn't so great at physics, I still think physics is intuitive, but...oh well, my struggles with physics are for another time.

One new technology that I am absolutely loving are the new ink jet printers. Gone is the carbon paper! Present in print to anything my brain thinks about and I love it. I am such a tactile person anyway, that increasing opportunities to hold ideas and thoughts in my hand on paper is really exciting. And the really great thing about the new printers is that they really are plug and play, once the drivers are loaded and initialized...but basically fool-proof in my book. However, as with anything good, there is a darker side and I am sitting here looking at 25 printer cartridges that I just can’t force myself to just throw away. I have had to move my collection from a lunch bag sized baggie to a gallon sized and now am collecting them  in a grocery bag, and they make a mess, don’t stack well and take up room. I have got to get rid of these somewhere or I might break down and toss them.

So with that problem in the forefront of my mind, I head out to meetings today, and of course, immediately find the solution. At a meeting today of the social agencies that meet in town, one of the representatives for Spruce Up Austin, which helps to plant trees in our community, announced that they would be collecting ink cartridges to recycle them. After they had some of their own research about how to recycle their collection of cartridges, they learned that some businesses will give $2.00 credits back on all recycled cartridge, and they jumped all over it. The group that they were going to be recycling with was willing to actually pay them $2 cash for each cartridge they collected and so they put the word out. Within hours I was at Spruce Up’s Director’s office with my bag and he already had several filled boxes. What a great win-win. Yippee. Recycling, giving and cleaning out my office! Yippee.

❦ Sometimes a problem can be another’s gift.

Day 84 ❦ Support Someone you Believe in

Day 84 ❦ Support Someone you Believe in

The Gift: A Political Contribution

We are in the midst of a crazy election period, although because I do not watch either television commercials nor the news on television, I am pretty insulated from the worst of it. Not only do I dislike the divisiveness of the elections - I really dislike it when the ads, or candidates are outright lying. It drives me crazy, so I have to work pretty hard during this time to tune it all out - I will base my votes on actually talking to the candidates and deciding for myself how I think they responded to my questions...candidates be warned - if you knock on my door, I will invite you in and we WILL talk. I believe my vote is important as is supporting the candidates I believe in.

This election year has really been focused on throwing around promises and allegations about issues over which the candidates have no purview, for example - the School Board can’t do anything about lice, the County Commissioners can’t do anything about Federal immigration issues and the Mayor can’t deal with privacy issues in the school and it makes me crazy when I hear them making promises about just such topics, although I know such promises will get them votes, regardless of the veracity behind them. So when I do find a candidate who has common sense and is really talking about the issues over which they do have some control, I will do anything to back them. I do not have a lot of money but I have one of the best yards in town on which to put signs and I can stuff envelopes. I can’t knock on doors because I am so involved in the community, it can get confusing to figure out on whose behalf I am visiting, so I draw the line as door knocking. Anything else - I am there.

Today I am going to a coffee for a candidate for Mayor whose opponent is slamming her on her immigration stance - she does not have one, nor should he - the Mayor does not have any control over Federal issues and in this town, the Mayor does not even have a vote on the City Council, unless there is a tie - it is called a “weak-Mayor” system. But saying that he is “going to drive all of the immigrants out of town” should scare all of us - except the Native Americans...but actually, since I know he can’t drive me out of town because my family was not born here I am not worried about that - what I am worried about is that it looks like people believe him. His lies have a lot of traction and I am worried about that. So today, I put my money where my mouth and beliefs are and made a political donation.

❦ Support Someone in Whom You Believe

Day 83 ❦ Give Simply, Simply Give

Day 83 ❦ Give Simply, Simply Give

The Gift: Salt Water Taffy

I am still reeling from the rejection yesterday. I have to remind myself every moment to breathe and be present, but at least I didn’t have to fight myself to get out of bed this morning. But I am going to go easy on myself today. My heart is devastated and I am questioning everything about myself, but I am going to get through this, and today I am going to give. Something. Anything.

Over the course of the 100 Days of Giving exercise I have accumulated items that I have either picked up or were given that are items that would be better if gifted to someone else so I get a very pretty box with a pretty top and have set up a “gift box” for just such an occasion as today. It is actually kind of fun to go to the box, which I haven’t looked through for a few weeks, to see if there is something in there which could be a simple give. Right on top is a deliciously tempting box of salt water taffy...yummmm...one of my childhood favorites!  I loved going to the beach on the East Coast and after a long hot sunny day eating my fill of salt water taffy, I especially loved the licorice taffy and could eat buckets full of it!!!

But as a result of that kind of indulgence, I have had a number of cavities and fillings in my teeth and at this moment, am missing a filling from the day I bought this salt water taffy and took my first luscious bite. I knew something was wrong when I got a crunch in the taffy and realized that part of my filling had been mixed into the taffy...arghhh. Right into the gift box because I couldn’t throw it away, and was unwilling to risk losing another filling - but knew that a time would come soon when I would find the right person to give this to....hmmmm, I have the gift now what is the opportunity?

Finding someone to give the taffy to would mean having to leave the house, and usually when I am in this kind of funk, I can avoid people since most of the work I do is from my home office...hmmm looks like I am going on a field trip, which also means I have to get dressed...argh again. Okay, I can do this. I have a gift, I am dressed and ready to leave the house...where am I going? I need to go to the Post Office and I usually run into people I know there, so away I go, no luck. Then I remember that there is a meeting taking place at the library that I could (should) be participating in, so off to the library. Indeed, the meeting is still occurring, the people at the meeting haven’t had morning treats yet and so I stop in, say hello and deliver morning treats. Giving opportunity done. Whew.

I realize that it was probably a good thing that I had to get dressed, leave my house and interact with people - but even more importantly, I was forced to think about someone other than myself and the funk is lifting. I remain with a broken heart, but some of the pressure has lifted by the simple action of giving. A simple gift, simply given...simply giving.

❦ Simply giving...

Day 82 ❦ More Thank Yous...and Gifts Come Pouring In

Day 82 ❦ More Thank Yous...and Gifts Come Pouring In

The Gift: More thank yous...

This morning I woke up stressed for the first time in a long time and I realized that it is because the days remaining in 100 Days of Giving is now reduced to a few weeks and I am looking ahead. I can’t actually remember a time when I wasn’t waking up with giving in my consciousness and am getting nervous about what happens next. I pull myself back to the present. I will have to worry about what happens after day 100 later, right now I have work to do and I haven’t got a clue what giving opportunity will present itself. And then day falls apart.

When the mail arrives I learn that I did not get the hoped position in Boulder and although I thought I was prepared for the news, I went into my dark place immediately. It had been such a perfect fit and if I couldn't get that kind of perfect job, was there anything out there for me??? It felt like all of the work that I had been accomplishing during the 100 Days of Giving vanished. Immediately. All of those negative messages that run in my head in the background came to the forefront and I couldn't stop it from happening. Several years ago, I wrote an essay titled “Blah, Blah, Blah” and it felt like that all over again. I didn't get the job, I was not good enough for them, and once again, I was the runner-up. That’s me - second chair. Never good enough.

And the world closes in around me - just like that. I find myself having to remind myself to breathe and I see all of the work I have been doing slipping away. Breathe, and breathe, and breathe.... When I open my eyes, what seems like years later, but in reality is only a few minutes I remember what a very good friend of mine once told me, “bad things happen all of the time and to everyone...it is how you handle those bad things that will determine your character and satisfaction in life.” Okay, breathe, I am in control of how I am going to bounce back from this disappointment. Actually disappointment does not even begin to come close to the right word. Catastrophe, devastation, grief, now those words begin to touch the surface about how I feel, but I will label them as a disappointment so that I can get myself out the door today.

And so, while World War III is happening in my heart, I find the strength to get dressed and ready to leave the house. You know that sarcastic phrase, “I am amazed that I got dressed by myself this morning...” well I am truly amazed that I am able to dress myself this morning. I have to keep reminding myself to breathe, breathe and breathe...this is not the way I saw things going today, I had so much to do, my lists were long and I was excited to go out and see what giving opportunity revealed itself today...and then the letter came and my brilliant future came to an immediate halt, breathe, breathe and breathe. And the messages roll in my head, I’m just not good enough, and on and on...

Maybe I don’t have to leave the house today and then I wouldn't have to wear my shame like a scarlet letter - I am certain that by this time a sign has been posted on my forehead that says LOSER and I am having trouble breathing again. Okay, settle down, and breathe...in and out. Staying home will not help the situation and so I muster the energy to find my keys and get in the car. In my brain I know that people can’t see the LOSER sign that is tattooed on my heart, but I am aware that my eyes are the window to my soul and they show nothing but resignation. I am checked out but force myself to keep moving, I have to do something, I have to accomplish something, I can’t sink into this entirely or else...or else what? No. I can’t go there, I have worked too hard to get to where I am and I need to accomplish something, anything.

It is early so I know that the grocery store will not be busy and usually offers many giving opportunities so I drive myself there, I can’t handle seeing a lot of people right now, breathe...in and out. Driving helps because the need to be alert behind the wheel kicks in and all of the negative self-talk has to take a back-burner. This is a good sign, because I have had days early on when I couldn't clear my head well enough to drive and ended up sitting in the driveway in my car for hours until giving up. Breathe.

Fortunately the grocery is only five minutes from my home and I am there before I can change my mind, it would be so easy to sink into this and stay at home, in bed, with the covers pulled over my head and hide from the world as those messages played through my head and I melt into the darkness - but I know that if I gave into that, my giving opportunities would go by the wayside and I have already used up my “mulligans” or “free-passes”. I have to find a giving opportunity. I have to concentrate on accomplishing that today. It has to be about getting outside of myself so that I don’t sink into the darkness. I have to think about someone else.
And of course, I walk into the grocery store and I know the first person I see, and the second and then the next. Now I live in a very small town and I do know a lot of people here, but this is not usual for this time in the morning and I am panicking. I don’t know how I am going to put on my “smile” and pretend like I am okay. And, much to my horror, not only are the people I know approaching me, but two other women I have never met are walking over to me too. Oh my gosh!!! Breathe, breath, breathe - in and out. Fortunately I am frozen or else I would have turned and run and while that would have made sense to me, it might have seemed rude to these five people who are now surrounding me.

Before I know it, one of the two women I don’t know is hugging me, not in the polite, “nice to see you, nice to meet you” manner, but in a full blown bear hug. And now I am wishing I had turned and run. This is not making sense, why are these people surrounding me? Why are they hugging and touching me? Surely these people know that I am worthless and have me mixed up for someone they know and appreciate.

I hear them speaking and one woman begins crying and I can’t figure out what is happening. Breathe, breathe, breathe. I find myself taking a HUGE and I mean HUGE breath and then hear myself saying, “Is everything okay? How can I help you?” and with those words, I am coming back into my skin, my brain is clearing and my heart has insulated itself from feeling anything and is focused on supplying my body with the blood it needs to remain conscious and breathing. I am returning to the present. I am in the grocery store, I am surrounded by a group of people, some of whom I know, others of whom I do not and I am breathing. I have asked a question actually two and the shock of hearing myself speak brings me back to the grocery store.

My questions surprise the group and I see them looking at each other with curious looks and before I can sink into thinking that they think I am crazy, they laugh, wipe away their tears and tell me that they are all neighbors from a flood ravaged area who yesterday received Rotary gift bags loaded with gift cards for this very grocery store and they were shopping together to purchase the food for a neighborhood celebration they decided to put together after receiving the goodie bags.

Their gratitude and appreciation filled their souls and overflowed, it filled the grocery store and seeped into my heart. These people were grateful and happy because of something that I had had a part in creating. These people had hope and something to look forward to as a result of my small contribution. These people had all lost everything, and I mean everything and yet they were throwing a celebration ignited by an idea I had. These people did not see me as a loser, they loved me. They cared that I cared. I had made an impact in their lives without knowing it.

 They had all figured out how to get up and out of bed despite their terrible loss, and today, I had played a role in this. How crazy is this? As all of these thoughts spun in my head - I realized that I had found my giving opportunity and just soaked it up. Today, I allowed the kindness, gratitude and thanks of others be a gift to myself.

❦ You may never know the impact of a thank you

Day 81 ❦ Giving Thanks is a Gift

Day 81 ❦ Giving Thanks is a Gift

This is an excerpt of a thank you letter that was distributed to the hundreds of people who helped make the distribution of Rotary goodie bags to flood victims such a success...the words in italics were authored by the recipients, the remaining parts of the letter were authored by me...

Members of Rotary District 5960, Thank you, thank you, thank you. When Rotarians from the flood stricken areas of southeastern Minnesota reached out for help – you rose to the challenge and impacted the lives of hundreds in our own backyard. As a result of your efforts - whether it was a Fast For Flood effort, direct contributions, volunteering for clean-up and demolition, or supporting the District Simplified Grant awarded – hundreds of people will hold in high esteem the thoughts and actions of Rotarians. In all, over $21,000 was raised and District 5960 Rotarians volunteered hundreds of hours toward clean-up efforts.

Rotary flood relief bags were distributed to 165 households by disaster relief workers in the most impacted areas of the flooding. Each Rotary bag included holiday ornaments, ornament hangers, candy canes, a card explaining Rotary and its mission and finally, $100 in local vendor gift cards as a token of recognition of the difficulty faced by all those impacted by the flood and the unique un-met needs of each household. Armed with the gift bags, relief workers hand-delivered each bag and were received with surprise, gratitude, tears, and deep appreciation. We have received 118 thank you letters so far. Here are some excerpts:

“I thank you for your thoughtfulness and assistance, God bless you”, “Everyone has been so kind. An experience like this is very humbling.”, “Thank you so much - who says there is no Santa Claus?”, “What an unexpected wonderful surprise. It brings tears of amazement/awe that we were blessed to receive these gifts. We lost so much – and to be thought of and receive of this, we are so thankful from the bottom of our hearts.”, “People like you continue to surprise me. It only goes to prove that there are many good people left in this world. Thank you for your generosity and remembering us. May the Lord bless you all.”, “I am just one gratitude filled recipient of a flood assistance bag you so kindly gathered and most appreciatively distributed. Its most meaningful motto – Service Above Self – says it all. Your collective unforgettable kindness encouraged me in multiple ways.”, “We would like to thank you for your efforts for the families effected by the floods. We were able to enjoy Christmas and not worry about how spending for Christmas dinner would effect our repairs.”,  “ Dear Rotary Members, This should be typed - my handwriting leaves a little to be desired, but I chose to write by hand to make my thank you as personal as the gift you gave me. I was amazed at the time of the flood by the display of care and support the community extended. Now to receive this wonderful gift confirms my faith that this is a season of hope. We are continuing to work on our home to restore it to the livable condition it was before the flood. To know you still think about all we have to still deal with is encouraging. THANK YOU”

Each Rotarian and Rotary club is dedicated to strengthening the local and world community by assessing human needs and implementing humanitarian projects. In all our work we respect the dignity of each person and the equality of all people. By making this $21,000 gift, Rotarians of District 5960 displayed the spirit of building goodwill and peace in our own backyard. Thank you.

Day 80 ❦ Give Intentionally, Thoughtfully and without Judgement

The goodie bags ready to go to
families impacted by the Austin floods

Day 80 ❦ Give Intentionally, Thoughtfully and without Judgement

The Gift: One hundred goodie bags loaded with gift cards and holiday/Christmas decorations

Yesterday, I described the origination of the idea about how I could do something that would provide relief to a group of people who were so hugely impacted by the flooding in my community. The grief-stricken student with whom I sat couldn't have been the only person who lost their holiday decorations. I brought the idea to my Rotary Club and District to give holiday gift bags to impacted people with a generous amount of decorations and gift cards so that they could really feel special for even a short time. An emergency humanitarian grant was approved with matching funds, for $18,000.

The Austin Rotary Club in cooperation with Rotary District 5960 and adjacent Rotary Clubs in Albert Lea and Owatonna raised additional funds and we ended up with a little over $21,000 to provide some much needed pre-holiday relief in goodie bags. With those funds we purchased Christmas ornaments, decorations and gift cards for food so that they could have a nice Thanksgiving dinner and then decorate their home. Included in each canvas bag was enough for people to really have a wonderful dinner and to be able to have some respite from their continuing nightmare. Working with disaster agencies we had learned that there were 100 families who were the most impacted and divided our resources accordingly.

I have included some of the pictures of the bags so that you can see the scope of the project. More importantly, we gave the bags without judgement, without criteria of financial need, income, social standing - simply triaged by impact of the flood.

Relief workers delivered all of the bags today and the giving impact hit. Gratitude, friendship and compassion began flowing. Tomorrow, I will dedicate the entire post to the thanks that were received to share the impact that this initiative had...and it all originated from the quiet moments sitting by the river bank...

What can you do, what can you dream up, what can you make happen...if you quietly listen and create spaces for people to share their hearts?

❦ Give without judgement

Some of the goodies that went into the bags

More goodies...

And even more...

The goodie bags being sorted for distribution

On their way...

Day 79 ❦ Take time today to just stop and listen.

Day 79 ❦ Give Time

The Gift: A listening ear

As I have been nearing the end of the one hundred days exercise, I am aware of the limited time remaining. Each day I wake up thinking about what I am going to do to fulfill the giving experience. And there is a sense of expectation that is part of that wake-up call. Today though, I know that the giving opportunities are about to flood in, literally.

Several weeks ago I talked about the impact of the floods that hit Austin and the overwhelming response that happened almost immediately. Emergency assistance poured in, friends and family along with complete strangers who became friends and family traveled to our community and helped empty houses, clean up the trash and disinfect houses that were still habitable. Now the next wave of assistance is starting to gear up and my Rotary Club and the District in which we are located is getting ready to make a huge impact.

The day the flood hit, people called and e-mailed me from all over the world. I didn't get the thoughts and notes for a few days because our electricity and services were turned off. When the lights came back on I was astounded by the well-wishes and people who sent me messages. And although my house was not impacted, the Sheriff was launching the rescue boats from my driveway. We sit on one of the few hills in town and we provided a landing pad for the people who were being evacuated, and days later as they went in to salvage anything they could from their homes across the street from us. I will never forget standing by the river side as the banks overflowed, just watching as the water rose, it was almost mesmerizing, we could see the water rising that quickly.

As I was standing there watching the water rise, a young woman came and silently stood next to me. After a long time of silence, she started talking to me and shared that across the street, covered in 5 feet of water was her ground floor apartment where she had just unloaded all of the gifts from a baby shower her friends had held for her last weekend. She was a college student and she was so worried about how she was going to replace all of her school books and recently completed homework and as she talked and started listing all of the things that she had just lost, she cried and sobbed and finally told me that she just realized that she had lost all of her Christmas decorations and she wept inconsolably. After a few more minutes she said that one of the things that kept her going through her pregnancy was the thought of sharing Christmas after the semester ended with her new baby and she cried and cried. I brought out a few chairs and lots of boxes of Kleenex and we sat there for what now seems like hours. And she cried and I listened, and we watched the water rise together.

While that was not the giving experience for today, I want to give space to her tears and her grief because it was that experience that inspired the next several days’ giving opportunities...and so for today, we will just all sit quietly on the banks of the river and listen...

❦ Take time today to just stop and listen.

Day 78 ❦ Sometimes Even a Small Gift Can Make Difference

Day 78 ❦ Sometimes Even a Small Gift Can Make Difference

The Gift: Personal Care Items for the Emergency Shelf

As you may have ascertained, I get to travel a lot. Often I have the privilege of traveling to crazy great places and have experiences with which I could fill books. But the fun and adventure comes at a price. There are always trade-offs right? The problem with traveling for work is that oftentimes, the trade-offs are not so apparent to someone who has just asked me where I have been lately. I am not going to spend any time listing the trade-offs for so many reasons, I just want there to be a stated awareness that the work that accompanies the travel can be difficult, draining and downright dirty.

I am fortunate that most of the times I am traveling for work I am staying in hotels - although the times I get to stay in people’s homes are special; hotels give me the respite that I need to recharge for another full-board day of work the next day. I will learn later in my life why I need that recharging time but for now, during this exercise, 100 Days of Giving,  I have not yet learned why I need my alone time so desperately. When I get back to my room I may just sit for an hour or so trying to clear my mind and refresh my thoughts for the next day. I always have visions of sitting and writing or reading, but the truth is that my brain is usually spent and even drawing a bath seems like it would take too much brain power.

Day 77 ❦ Give and be detached to outcome

Day 77 ❦ Give and be detached to outcome

The Gift: A donation of travel

During this time of transition for me, I have been actively seeking meaningful employment. I have been underemployed since moving from Boulder to Austin and while it is often okay for me to reconcile that fact with making a difference in my community as a “paid volunteer” I feel under-utilized. Much of my passion and energy is not being tapped in part because the organization for which I am working is not prepared, but there is also not an infrastructure to support my vision - so I bump up my less than meaningful work with my extensive volunteer work. It would be a dream of mine to find meaningful employment that used every part of my energy, passion, and knowledge and actually paid me a professional wage...ahhh...

While conducting my regular job search I found just such a job. It would be perfect not only for me, but I am perfect for them. The position would coordinate and organize volunteer medical service trips to developing countries - and the best part is that this job is a professional job within a health food manufacturer - so it really ties in many of my core values, philosophies and experience. Perfect!

I made it through the process and get an in-person interview. They flew me out to Boulder for several days of interviews and “get-to-know-you” receptions, meetings and meals. It was perfect, I have so many friends in Boulder and I was able to enjoy a few days with friends and a few days really grooving on the job. I can see myself in it, and I am getting pretty excited. It has been a long time since I have felt like I fit anywhere professionally.

I have to turn in my receipts for reimbursement for the interview expenses and make a decision to put my money where my mouth is and donate most of the travel expenses. I do this realizing that I might not get the job, but realize that I really like what they are doing and would like to be part of something important - that’s all, and if it can or can’t be as the Coordinator of this program, I can be part of in this small way. This feels really good and I am glad that this giving opportunity happened today.

❦ Give Detached to Outcome

Editors note: I did not get the job (second again...), but still smile as I think about making this donation, it is still the right thing to do for me.