Day 53 ❦ Give in a way that multiplies

Day 53 ❦ Give in a way that multiplies

The Gift: 4 Sumner School Cookbooks

I am currently active on my children’s Parent Teacher Council...something that would make people who knew me pre-kids laugh. Me, on the PTC or PTA! One thing I learned when I moved from Boulder to rural Minnesota was that one passionate, committed person could really make a difference. In a larger community like Boulder or Baltimore - it is still possible to have an impact, but it is far more difficult. I learned this because when we moved to Austin, we moved into a school district with a high level of poverty and the elementary school continues to have a high percentage of free and reduced lunch participants (65% in 2011).

Arriving in town the day before my oldest was going to start kindergarten I was astonished to see that her elementary school was surrounded by asphalt and had no playground equipment...well...that needed to change, and the sooner the better.

So I got active in the major fund-raising arm of the elementary school and shortly after I set my mind on putting in a playground, we had raised the $34,000 to make it so. Today, almost 18 years later it is so much fun to drive by and see children playing on the fruits of our labor.
During the playground focused years, the PTC developed a strong fund-raising mechanism and began using those funds to support significant programs for the school.

When my younger daughter arrived at the elementary school 11 years later, there was still a lot to be done and the PTC decided to expand the playground equipment - requiring an additional $25,000...so I dug in and we raised the funds.

One of the most fun and effective fund-raisers we conducted was for families to submit recipes and to put together a cookbook. I submitted some of our family favorites and when the books were published, I did what most other contributing cooks did and purchased a case of the cookbooks which I am now enjoying giving away as gifts. I love it when a gift can give several times over - this one gives a minimum of 4 times and that is just so satisfying, even if I can only count is as one gift for this exercise.

❦ Give in a way that multiplies

Day 52 ❦ Sometimes a gift is a mystery even when you know what it is

Day 52 ❦ Sometimes a gift is a mystery even when you know what it is

The Gift: An infusor

Have you ever had one of those days? Well apparently, I was having just one of those kind of days today. When I was in the middle of the 100 Days of Giving exercise, I would often give the gift that became apparent during the day and would write down what the gift was, with some notes just like in the giving journal which I have posted. Well, today I did nothing of the sort. I simply wrote that I gave Alison an infusor.

Not only do I not remember that gift, I don’t even know what an infusor is! I am pretty good about making up words and then being able to use them in context - but there is no context here. Oh well, sure hope she enjoyed it and I do hope I figure out what it is at some point and I especially hope that I can figure out why it was important to give my daughter an infusor.

❦ Sometimes a gift is a mystery even when you know what it is

Day 51 ❦ Think outside the box today when you give

Day 51 ❦ Think outside the box today when you give

The Gift: A light-weight plate

I love the alliteration of this gift...a light-weight plate! I had a mother-in-law who was like my own. When my husband brought me into my in-laws lives, they accepted me as if I had been raised by them and I always looked to them as my own parents. I realize how lucky this makes me - not only was I embraced by my in-laws, but because I do not have a relationship with either of my own biological parents - I was able to have wonderful role models of caring, loving, accepting parents in my life - even if it was for a short 20 years. I still treasure that time with them and miss them both terribly.

My father-in-law was the first to go, which was a surprise to all of us - we had all assumed that because he was filled with life that he would be the last to go, but instead was struck down suddenly by a fast-growing brain tumor which left him incapacitated in a nursing home until finally his body gave up after a long 6 month hospitalization. His passing was very difficult for my mother-in-law who was practically crippled with osteoarthritis. During the 6 months that my father-in-law was in the nursing home, my mother-in-law had to rise to the challenge and begin to care for herself more so than in the past, and in fact, I have often wondered if my father-in-law held on that long to give her time to prepare to care for herself.

Alice, my mother-in-law, lost weight, gained competence in caring for herself and began to rise to the incredible challenge of moving forward as a single person and by the time Les, my father-in-law died - she was as ready as she could be. It was a difficult time in our family but my husband had a very close family and the siblings and grandchildren rallied to support Alice (who ended up living an additional 10 years...almost to the day). Sometime the support needed to be subtle because it was important not to point out her vulnerability, but instead to figure out how to bolster it. So the other day I found some really cute serving dishes that are made from plastic, but look like glass and are one-fourth of the weight - perfect for an active senior who still likes to entertain but who cannot carry heavy glass dishes. While I am at her house today, I replace some of those unused heavy glass serving platters with these nice light-weight plates and sneak away...giggling. I can’t wait for her to find them!

❦ Think outside the box today when you give

Authors note: While Alice did not find the platters while we were visiting that time, the next time we arrived at her house for the weekend, there were cookies laid out on the platters! FUN!

Consider Street Girls

During this weekend interlude, I am asking you to consider supporting an organization which works with some of the 51,000 children who live, work and sleep on the streets of Accra, Ghana. In two weeks I will be traveling to work with the organization Street Girls Aid - they work with girls and their babies who live, work and sleep on the street of Ghana in a variety of ways. You could support them by ordering some beautiful merchandise that the girls will work on in their sewing trade school while we are there and I will send you your order when I return at the beginning of December, just in time for the holidays.

By ordering something from the girls, you help to drive a market for their work, they will be paid for the work and you will have a beautiful gift to give to someone...with a great story.

To place an order - follow this link to the order form and send it to me right away - All orders need to be in to me by November 5th.

http://onehundreddaysofgiving.blogspot.com/p/street-girls-aid-handmade-goods-order.html

To learn more about Street Girls Aid follow this link:

http://www.said-ghana.com/

And then after you have ordered something from Street Aid follow this link and download a blank giving journal and write about the experience. Hint: You could include your thoughts you write in the journal in a card when you give the gift.

http://onehundreddaysofgiving.blogspot.com/p/giving-journala-gift-for-you.html

Interlude - Just Give Today

Today marks the half-way point in 100 days of giving and I am going to break from tradition and instead of telling you stories about the impact or the history of a gift I would like to challenge you to just do something today to help someone else. Give of yourself, give friendship, give time - please!

So many people I know are going through very difficult and challenging times, cancer, illness, job loss, tragedy, grief and I am sure you do too. Let's take some time today to help someone you know who just needs a friend, a meal, a surprise token of your friendship. Make someone's day.

Day 50 ❦ Give just because

Day 50 ❦ Give just because

The Gift: A $20 bill

I don’t know about you, but it seems to me as if my kids are AWAYS asking for money...and I am always in a situation where I am asking, “How much do you need?, or What do you need money for?” Those regular interactions don’t feel very life-affirming and so today I thought I would attempt a pre-emptive strike and walked up to my youngest daughter and handed her a $20 dollar bill...just because... It was a fun thing to do!

❦ Give just because

Day 49 ❦ Give to yourself the company of others

Day 49 ❦ Give to yourself the company of others

The Gift: A Lunch Date

Sometimes we all get so busy, that it is easy to forget to sit down and enjoy a leisurely meal with a friend or family member. In this case, I am fortunate that my sister-in-law...actually all of my sisters in law, are good fiends of mine. My brother’s wife was my friend before they met and my husband’s sisters have always welcomed me into the family, but his youngest sister, has always been especially close. We are close in age and graduated from high school the same year - so we have that in common. We both care deeply for her brother, my husband - but we are alike in so many other ways too. I always enjoy spending time with her and realized today that we hadn’t sat down for a meal with each other - just the two of - for al long as I could remember. So, I called her up and asked her to go on a lunch date, just her and me...my treat. We laughed, ate and said “schmackidy” at least four times. What a gift.

 ❦ Give to yourself the company of others

Day 48 ❦ Simple gifts...big appreciation

Day 48 ❦ Simple gifts...big appreciation

The Gift: Kitchen scissors

My family probably spends more time in the kitchen than anywhere else in the house. We love to cook, interact while cooking and we especially love to eat and entertain around food. The funny part about that is that I have a kitchen the size of a postage stamp. The first thing that most first-time visitors to my home say is...how do you cook the things that you do in a kitchen this size? Usually the second thing that we are asked is about our one bathroom, but that is a story for another day.

Once you have seen a meal in process in the kitchen you will get it, but until you experience the efficiency that comes from cooking elaborate meals in a 10 x 10 kitchen, it is difficult to imagine. Everything has its place, and much like a finely choreographed ballet, every movement is coordinated. If we have visitors in the kitchen while a meal dance is going on, we have several stools where they can perch out of the way of the dancers and their tools.

It is during one of these dances, while preparing a several course meal with my husband that the request for this gift is issued...barked really. Even though everything has its place, we are missing a few key kitchen tools and I just have not ever thought about adding them...kitchen scissors being one of them.

Part of my kitchen dance almost always includes a scene with the large serrated bread knife slicing open some plastic packaging with a grand finale and bow if I don’t cut myself in the process. I have practiced this dance frequently...newbies to the kitchen dance have not had that same luxury...and today, as my husband and I dance around the kitchen, he slices open his finger while attempting to use the large serrated bread knife to open a plastic container. I won’t repeat what he said, but it sounded a lot like...”honey, I would sure love it if you would buy me kitchen scissors.”

I don’t know why I don’t have kitchen scissors in my house - it is just something I actually never thought of until he asked for this gift and so you can imagine my delight when while shopping today I noticed a display for kitchen scissors. Gifting opportunity done. I wrapped them up and presented this special gift to my husband who has taken the opportunity to use that gift every single day since then.


❦ Simple gifts can bring with them big appreciation

Day 47 ❦ Give and regain a sense of “normalcy”

Day 47 ❦ Give and regain a sense of “normalcy”

The Gift: All of the change in the bottom of my purse dumped into the March of Dimes container

It has been several days since I have written about the aftermath of the floods and the damage that we are seeing as the flood waters recede. Everywhere in town, there are piles of household goods, furniture, yard waste, carpets, drywall - everything and anything. The piles are being cleaned up daily, but they reemerge the next day. This weekend there will be a focused volunteer effort on cleaning homes and people are arriving from all over the midwest. It will be quite a sight and certainly a welcome relief - fatigue is thick in the air.

We are all tired especially knowing how much more there is to do before the weather turns very cold and it becomes even more difficult to do relief work. My husband has been spending hours with people who have lost everything and providing counseling to some of the relief workers too. While the flood waters covered the area it was easier to comprehend that we were under a state of emergency, but now as people can move around town and debris is removed, it is becoming more and more difficult to remember the devastation, yet the fatigue remains, the grief is beginning and there is much work yet to be done.

I am finding myself clinging onto anything that resembles “normalcy” and so when I am standing in line at the grocery store and I see the March of Dimes donation box I smile, thinking back to a time that seems so long ago now, when Shannon asked the clerk about what the March of Dimes was and she so gladly gave. It seems so normal to dump out my purse and put all of the change from the bottom into the donation box.

❦ Give and regain a sense of “normalcy

Day 46 ❦ Bring others closer by sharing gifts and memories

Day 46 ❦ Bring others closer by sharing gifts and memories

The Gift: Leather coasters from Argentina

I have had the opportunity to travel to some pretty fantastic places because of people that I have met through Rotary. I have already shared a little about the huge impact that youth exchange students have had on my family...their courage, optimism and openness to share themselves with the world...is humbling and awesome at the same time.

If you can imagine, a 15 - 18 year old child travels to another country, leaving behind their friends, family and everything that is familiar to themselves. They live with host families on whom they have to rely for their basic needs...but most importantly, they have to learn to rely and trust themselves in a way that most teenagers do not. The changes in youth exchange students are incredible to watch. We have had the chance to both host students and send our family members out-bound on exchange. Our oldest daughter went to France as a youth exchange student and was there during the attacks on the United States on September 11th . Our nephew went to Argentina as a 15 year old and that decision changed not only his life, but ours as well.

Toward the end of his year in Argentina our nephew Les and his host family invited me to come visit and I jumped on the invitation. There is nothing like visiting a country where you know the locals, where people are willing to show you their country from their own eyes and invite you into their lives...and the Vera Family did just that. I spent 3 weeks in Argentina and the Vera Family treated my like royalty, and probably more importantly, like family. We laughed, shared stories, cried, ate, celebrated and grew close despite the language challenges. My family grew as a result of my stay there and to my delight, they chose to send one of their sons, Facundo to the United States, to Minnesota as an exchange student.

Facundo fit right into our family and we loved hosting him, however, the Rotary exchange program requires students to move to several host families during their year. Although it is always hard to say goodbye to a student with whom you have bonded, the concept of rotating host families gives students an opportunity to interact with a variety of families which is really important to develop international understanding. But say goodbye we did and many tears were shed when we had to move Facundo to his next host family the Dalagers. Even though he was still in our town, actually, only one mile away, he was now going to be hanging out with a different family and immediately our house grew quiet.

Those first few days after a move are really hard on everyone, but we know from experience that we will all survive - that does not make things easier, it just prepares us for the time in the near future when our student leaves permanently to return to their native country...and oh, the tears that are shed then are awful.

Tonight we have been invited to a welcome party at the home of one of Facundo’s host families for the new Rotary exchange student who is from Norway. Facundo is gone...back to his home, his family in Argentina and we still miss him very much, he was very special and now he is back with his other family. I decide to bring a set of leather coasters I picked up while in Argentina and give them to the Dalagers so that we can commiserate, share our sadness, share our stories and in that remembrance become a little closer and warm our hearts with memories. And, as we warm our hearts we create space to begin to make new memories, share new experiences and open our hearts for our newest student who we welcome tonight.

❦ Bring others closer by sharing gifts and memories

Interlude - Support Street Girls Aid

Today you have an opportunity to purchase a gift that will have many layers of giving opportunities...

Please consider ordering some beautifully made items from the girls at Street Girls Aid in Accra, Ghana - your gift will create so many opportunities for girls to develop economic sustainability and you will end up with a gift that others will enjoy too!

Please go to this link and order your goods today!



http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2440410872275813627#editor/target=page;pageID=1583046055758589586

Day 45 ❦ And...give again...

Day 45 ❦ And...give again...

The gift: An African necklace

I am certainly getting a lot of giving mileage with the African jewelry I brought back from Ghana, Togo and Benin and today I am going to continue that trend...

The other night I gave Sevy a beautiful African beaded bracelet for helping with book group and it just looks striking on her. She is from Bulgaria and has that same dark olive skin that I have that lends itself well to wearing certain colors and jewelry. Sevy comes from a family that has very little and did not grow up with an expectation of having material items. Living in Bulgaria post Russia she shared a communal bathroom with the other tenants of her apartment building and her family ate out of one bowl at meal time.

There are always cultural transition stories that we have to tell about the first time this happened or when that happened with students - such as our student from Paraguay who took cold showers for weeks because she didn’t know how to turn the hot water on and had only had cold showers in her native home, or our student from Denmark who cried when we told her she would have to make her bed...realizing later that she actually thought she would have to use wood, hammer and nails to “make her bed”, as opposed to dressing her bed in the morning. Sevy presented some of those stories too, for example in Bulgaria shaking your head up and down means no and shaking your head from side to side means yes...but her first cultural issue happened at her first meal with her first host family.

As dinner was served, Sevy picked up the serving bowl and began eating out of it. Fortunately her host family was very experienced and realized that this was something they were going to have to get to the bottom of carefully...and quickly...and as they were working this out with her, they learned that her family had no plates or bowls for individual servings and that they all ate out of one communal bowl because that is all they had.

Now I am telling you this story because it is not often that we in the United States have children in our lives who have so little that they are sharing a bathroom with hundreds, or share one serving bowl with their entire family. This is the life that Sevy came from. Receiving a bracelet was a huge gift and the pride with which she wore it was so moving that I decided to gift her with the matching necklace. Her delight in being gifted was fun to witness.

 ❦ And...give again...

Day 44 ❦ Give again!

Day 44 ❦ Give again!

The Gift: 6 African bracelets

Last night we had book group and I gave two beautiful African bracelets to my daughter and exchange student for helping cook the meal. When they opened their gifts and the girls from the book group saw them, there was a collective ohh and ahh that made me feel a little bad that I hadn’t thought to bring one for each of them...but instead, thinking of that experience has given me the giving opportunity for today.

I wrapped up 6 African bracelets and deliver them to all of the girls from book group and to my delight, they ohhhed and ahhhed all over again! It was super fun!

❦ Give again!

Day 43 ❦ Give thankfully

Day 43 ❦ Give thankfully

The Gift: African bracelets

Life begins to get back to whatever the new normal is going to look like, for those of us not greatly impacted by the floods, it takes on a day to day feeling of normalness with an underpinning of sadness. The loss and devastation is everywhere in town - cars pushed through the flood waters sit in fields and storage sheds and furniture are caught in shrubbery and deposited alongside the banks of the flood waters in very weird places. It is not unusual to see a roof or door hanging from a tree. The entire area impacted by the floods is covered in a brown mucky mud.

I am going to return to normal tonight and am looking forward to the distraction of my book club meeting tonight. We are a book group that “reads to eat” and we usually pick titles that tie into some delicious food offerings. Tonight’s book is the DaVinci Code and we will have a special guest cook - my daughter who lived in France for a year will be making a few French delicacies for us.  Along with Alison, one of our exchange students who is visiting for the summer will be helping her cook.

Our book group is a friendly group - we have very few rules and we laugh a lot. It is always something for me to look forward to and after the events of the last few days, I need to let loose and laugh...which I do. After the meal, Alison and Sevy bring out the creme brule which they have just whipped up for dessert and which required their presence at book group. As a thank you I give each of them an African bracelet. A good time was had by all...and for a moment...life returned to normal.

❦ Give thankfully

Day 42 ❦ Time can be a valuable gift

Day 42 ❦ Time can be a valuable gift

The Gift: Time, time, time

There is a sense of surrealness that begins to take over the community. It is palpable as you drive around town, there are many homes and people whose lives were only minorly inconvenienced by the flood and then there are a huge number of people whose lives will never be the same. During this “in-between” time (the time between the devastation and being able to help) those of us who still have homes and whose lives are close to normal again just try to pick up and continue on where we left off. Perhaps we have someone staying with us, or perhaps we are garnering the support for the monumental work that will be ahead of us once the water recedes and we can finally go in and begin helping, but for all intents and purposes, life comes back to normal when the electricity is restored.

For me the electricity came back on last night and so we started the process of cleaning everything out of our refrigerator and throwing stuff from the freezer. There wasn’t much left since I had used most of my back-up stores to cook for the multitude of guests over the past few days. In addition to my husband working non-stop for the Red Cross doing counseling, the other relief effort we are coordinating is the huge number of Rotarians who have called to offer their assistance.

In fact, one of the first calls I received was from the current chair of the World Community Service Committee which oversees grants, and Lee tells me that the leadership of the District got together and would like to see me write a grant to support the flood victims...so I add that to my “to-do” list since it is too early to think about that, but we are also coordinating Rotarians along with other volunteers around the region who are being organized to come here in two weeks to begin cleaning brigades. Our group will be organized out of a nearby church and so any Rotarian who is interested in coming to help is connecting with me and I am co-ordinating their visit - they need to bring a list of things to use to clean, ensure that they have their Tetanus shot up to date and be wearing specific clothing so that they don’t injure themselves. As of today (3 days after the flood began) I have 60 Rotarians on the list so far of people who are joining in a massive effort to clean 500 properties.

The Red Cross is expert at the overall organization of these efforts and give us all a lot of guidance about how to assist in a meaningful manner. It is very interesting and informative to witness. Very impressive really. Helping to coordinate this part of the relief effort gives me a lot of relief and makes me feel like I am actually doing something. Today again, giving my gift of time gives me a lot of relief.

❦ Time can be a valuable gift

An Interlude ❦ Today’s gift...breathe

An Interlude ❦ Today’s gift...breathe

I have been taking interludes on the weekends to give the weekly giving exercises a chance to breath and for readers to take the time needed to create and experience your own giving opportunities. But because of the place in the sequencing of the story of the flood, I decided to continue posting through the weekend and now take a moment to pause for that much needed interlude.

Today’s interlude is about the gift of breathing. Besides the obvious benefits of breathing...when I find myself dropping into the darkness, or just getting frustrated with anything...I remind myself to breathe. I have cheat sheets all over my home and office and have attached a picture of one that looks over my desk in my office...breathe...take care of yourself. Today take some time to reflect, take care of yourself and just breathe.

If you would like to do some reading while breathing, here are the top posts from this month:

• Be childlike in your giving...it will make you smile!

http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2440410872275813627#editor/target=post;postID=2894182321352373015

• Set a standard of giving...

http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2440410872275813627#editor/target=post;postID=3939275137677760684

• Just give something...

http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2440410872275813627#editor/target=post;postID=3286052917284436057

❦ Today’s gift...breathe

Day 41 ❦ A community bonds through giving of themselves

Day 41 ❦ A community bonds through giving of themselves

The Gift: Time

This morning we wake up to an eerie silence marred only by the sounds of generators echoing throughout the town...and of course, the helicopters. We have made the national news and my phone is ringing off the hook. Although the electricity has been cut and the entire town is cloaked in darkness, I still have a phone that functions because I have an old-fashioned land line for just this occasion. Most of the newer phones are cordless and when the electricity goes out - so does the phone service. Not here, not today and my phone is ringing off the hook. We have no television and although I have a radio - I have no pictures. It is nearly impossible to get around town and since I have a front row seat to the flooding here, I have only a small glimpse of what is really happening - days later when I see some of the photos, I am speechless. My phone is ringing off the hook with friends and family calling from all over the world to check in on us,  asking how they can help. We all feel so helpless because there is nothing we can do at the moment except prepare ourselves for the work ahead, and, to give of our time to support those who have lost everything...we need to just listen.

My husband is a mental health responder for Red Cross and he gets called in to work first thing in the morning - he ended up taking several weeks off of work because there was no way to get there from here, so he jumped right in volunteering for the Red Cross and started working as one of a team in a mobile van that traveled around to assess, and support those impacted.

We would learn later that 283 houses and 84 businesses were destroyed and at least 2 people had died, estimates of the damage aren’t even being talked about because the water is continuing to rise, albeit slower. When the water crests today the Cedar River hit record crest levels of 23.4 feet and the Turtle Creek crested at 14 feet. Main Street is at least 5 feet underwater and access to the hospital has been cut off for most of the community.

There is absolutely no damage to my home, however survivor guilt is beginning to sink in as the people whose homes are completely underwater on the other side of the street are coming to my yard and just staring at the devastation. And as their losses sink in, they want to process, talk to anyone, everyone and here I am. I have my cookstove running full-time right now making coffee and set up all of the lawn chairs I have on my yard.  I sit outside all day sharing coffee and listening to stories as people process the magnitude of the force that is Mother Nature.

❦ A community bonds through giving of themselves

Day 40 ❦ Give everything you can

Day 40 ❦ Give everything you can

The Gift: My home, meals for rescue workers, life jackets everything and anything

Today presented so many unexpected giving opportunities, that I will be writing about this event, about the aftermath of this day for months...even now, when the rains come to the north of us and the rivers begin to rise, anxiety returns - collectively.

Over the course of the last 13 hours, 18 inches of rain fell in areas north of our town and although we all woke up to rain and wet, were oblivious to the devastation about to hit. I was absolutely frustrated as I listened to the radio this morning only to learn that school was cancelled...really??? Because of some rain? This is September when we should have months to go before we face a “no school day” and that just sets my day off - what am I going to do with my kids all day while I worked? Arghh...although now in retrospect, not only did the school cancellations result in children being home instead of being stranded at schools for days, but it also raised a little flag in my head....hmmm...

Day 39 ❦ Give hope with your gift today

Day 39 ❦ Give hope with your gift today

The Gift: A donation to the American Cancer Society’s Relay For Life

One more day until all hell breaks loose here...literally. It has been raining off and on and there is talk about the rains up north, but we continue to go about our day, still on edge but, because it is raining up North, actually thinking that perhaps the worst has passed us by...again. Austin resides in a big bowl like depression where 4 rivers converge. Those rivers are a big part of our history, George A. Hormel started the Hormel Foods Company in Austin because there was a very good source of ice to use to keep his meat products refrigerated...for those of you who have always known a refrigerator, ice boxes preceded those and the ice was actually harvested from the rivers and stored in large ice houses. The Cedar River produces the water, the northern climate of Minnesota produces the cold and the shallow out-cropping of Mill Pond creates a perfect place for ice to be made, harvested easily and stored locally.

Despite the rain, the American Cancer Society is going to hold its 24 hour Relay for Life down by Mill Pond which is getting really soggy. Campers and tents are sprouting up along with umbrellas, tarps and the big mobile bandshell all preparing for an overnight endurance event. The Relay for Life is a major fund-raiser for cancer research in this community. The organizer, Linda, is passionate, persistent and is the epitome of a leader. Linda is so quiet but moves mountains and really ends up creating a spectacular and moving event. This year’s event will raise over $42,000 for the American Cancer Society and I am a part of that.

I have given one of my sister’s-in-law a donation for her family team which is walking in the relay for the next 24 hours because her niece Hannah is battling her second round of cancer at 14 years of age. The family has a team and is walking in the relay as a means of supporting Hannah who is also the spokesperson for this year’s event. Just writing this tears me up. Hannah is such a beautiful and caring girl and her family is dead set on fighting right along-side her in her battles with her cancer. My sister-in-law comes from a large caring family and I can’t imagine any other group of people better suited to rally and fight together to beat cancer in such a wonderful little girl. I am proud to be supporting their team today.

❦ Give hope with your gift today.

Author’s note: (8 years later) Hannah just got married a few weekends ago surrounded by the love and care of her family that continues to sustain her.

Day 38 ❦ Giving can create a sense of relief

Day 38 ❦ Giving can create a sense of relief

The Gift: Information/A reference/An idea

As the storm begins to brew in Austin and storm chasers take hold in the parks and rest stops along Interstates 90 and 35 I am aware of the tension in town. It is palatable and none of us really knows what it means so we continue to go about our regular business but with a little bit of an edge to everything. It is difficult to describe what the atmosphere, literally and figuratively, feels like when a storm is brewing but can best be described as electric; people become short with one another for no reason, hyper vigilance kicks in and there is a constant state of alertness that burns a lot of adrenaline and creates a simmering state of aggression. The air is thick with tension.

Usually after a major storm hits it makes sense and there is a collective sign of relief that says, okay, now we know what we are dealing with so let’s roll up our sleeves and just get it done...but until that storm hits, the anxiety of the unknown is filled with tension. So the storm brews and we continue to go about our regular activities with a little bit of an edge.

Today I woke up on edge, I have now been working on reduced hours for several months and the financial impact of my decision is beginning to hit. Although the giving exercise has helped to lift my mood, and has increased the giving that I have received, it has not helped my pocketbook very much so today I am going to intentionally seek a project. Now for those of you who know me - you already know how difficult it is to describe what I do because it feels like I am a jack of all trades - it seems as though most everything I do I succeed at (that sentence was written by someone who has been living in the mid-west too long!. Oftentimes I have considered myself a “female Forest Gump” but in my mind I really think about myself as an information broker - I connect people with resources, I connect needs with supporters, I connect problems with solutions, I broker relationships and information.

Now all of those skills come in handy as a grant writer because it really takes an array of skills, knowledge and information to write a successful grant, which I happen to do well. As a result I get pegged into a hole as “a grant writer”. I have written over $15 million dollars in successful grants, and although I have not included most of those as high on my list of accomplishments, those who were recipients of those grants, often really appreciate what I do.

One of my failings is that because many things come easy to me, it appears from the outside that the magic that I work is easy. I do believe that if I can do something, anyone else can, but also know that what someone may have to do to reach the level of accomplishment that I have may take work. Most people (with the exception of my family) have no idea how hard I actually do work. But I digress, writing grants is hard work and a lot of that work goes on in my head. I find myself when in the middle of a writing project having to say to myself, “people can’t hear what is in your head - you have to get it down on paper.” And then I sit and spew words and numbers and a grant is born. So what does this have to do with the giving opportunity today?

Today I wrote a grant for someone because they came to me and asked me for help and I freely gave it with the clear understanding that they had no money to pay me. It is unethical for a grant-writer to write on speculation (receiving a portion of the proceeds if the grant is awarded) and it is discouraged to write grants for free (that undermines the profession of grant-writers), however, even lawyers and accountants do some pro-bono work, so today I am considering this task a pro-bono project and counting the 18 hours I spent on the project as my giving opportunity. Writing the grant helped to relieve the tension that is building so even though I did not find a paying project today, I did get some relief and was able to give in a very meaningful manner.

❦ Giving can create a sense of relief

Day 37 ❦ Giving can lift the blahness

Day 37 ❦ Giving can lift the blahness

The Gift: A cash donation to the Humane Society

After so many philosophical gifts over the past few weeks, today I  “cashed out”. It was so sad to see my friends leave to go back home to Baltimore, there is a lull in the summer action (or at least there was today...little did I know what Mother Nature had in store for Austin in a few days...and all of the giving opportunities that awaited) and I was mired in a state of blahness. Now, I know that is not a word and I am also aware that throughout this journal, I have made up several words...or at least I have had to add a bunch of words to my computer’s vast vocabulary, but the word blahness as in “being in a state of” just fits for today.

Going to the grocery store, which is usually one of my favorite activities, feels grey, the drive home is uneventful and the house is so quiet...I am surrounded by blahness. When I play Scrabble with my sister-in-law, when we make up a word it stays on the board if we can use the word in a sentence and then describe what the word means...therefore, under those rules, I now declare “blahness” a word which in the worst case scenario in Scrabble will net me 13 points. I am surrounded by blahness and really struggling to even think about giving...but here I am persevering in this exercise of giving every day.

So imagine my delight when a knock at the door reveals a few neighborhood children soliciting pledges for a walk this weekend for the Humane Society...yeah! Instead of pledging, I give them an outright cash gift (because a pledge wouldn’t count until the gift had actually left my hands) and the blahness lifted. Just like that - it felt like magic - I gave and the blahness lifted!

❦ Giving can lift the blahness.

Authors note: Since I officially used my new word blahness 8 times in this post I was able to declare it a word and successfully used it during a recent Scrabble game for 54 points.

Day 36 ❦ It is a gift to support people who represent you

Day 36

The Gift - A Political Donation

Hmmmm....does a political donation count as a gift? I began today with a multitude of questions about my gifting opportunity - where does politics fit? What about donations in general? And, what about political donations? Where do these questions fit into my guidelines? So let’s begin with the donation vs. the gift - Can a donation be counted as a gift? I am fairly certain that I have answered this before, but need to remind myself where a donation fits the giving spectrum....and interestingly enough these questions all arose on a similar giving experience - purchasing a ticket to hear a political candidate speak (Day 15) so here are the guidelines established at that time:

• GUIDELINE #4 - Any donation can be counted over and above my regular annual giving and 
• GUIDELINE #5 - The intrinsic personal value of the gift (or donation) does not disqualify the giving opportunity.

Now, I am not sure if the 5th Guideline really covers a straight-out donation to a political candidate, yet supporting a candidate that I really believe in, who truly stands for the values in which I believe and who I know will use my donation in a manner consistent with my values - that sounds to me like an intrinsically  valued gift - so be it. Today I gave $100 to a political candidate of my choice to support her work on behalf of the people of the State of Minnesota.

❦ It is a gift to support people who represent you

Day 35 ❦ A gift can be a wonderful remembrance

Day 35

The Gift; African necklaces galore!

My friends from college and their girls are staying with us for a week while driving back from a family reunion in North Dakota and we are just loving having them here. I think that one of the greatest thing about having company is that you get to be a tourist in your own backyard. I am not sure why I need to have company to do the really fun things here, but I tend not to - so while Cheryl and her family are here we are going for it - off to the Zoo, the Nature Center, the Mall of America and my favorite...The Spam Museum! Now before you laugh - Spam is one of the products that drive the economy in my town which is home to the World Headquarters of the Hormel Foods Company, which makes Spam - all of the Spam in the world is made here - so Spam is a pretty big deal here.

The Rotary banner from my club that I use to exchange with other clubs when I travel says “Spamtown” USA on it and the streets are lined with banners flying from the light poles announcing to the world that indeed, we are Spamtown. The Spam Jamboree is a highlight in the community hosting Marion Ross and Tom Brokaw as guests. So going to the Spam Museum seems like an appropriate tourist activity when visiting Austin, Minnesota. The museum is really a fun place to visit and people from all over the world come to the Spam Museum- it is something, however, you can only take so much Spam. The last display in the museum is a television playing one of Monty Python’s skits about Spam...where to a marching beat they say Spam Spam Spam Spam over and over and over again and so after several hours at the Spam Musuem we walked home to the marching beat of Spam Spam Spam Spam. Have I mentioned yet that my friends are vegetarians?

After being inundated with canned meat products we needed a pallet cleanser and decided to have a fire and tell camp fire stories, getting back to basics - the kind of thing we would do when we were broke college students; sit around a fire in our backyard, drinking gin and tonics on a hot humid night telling stories laughing all night long.

And tonight laugh we did, and then the stories turned to my experiences in Africa and the mood grew somber. I shared some of the conundrums faced while there - child slavery, poverty, children dying in our presence, pregnant children, sorrow,  pain, sickness and despair. But I was also able to share stories of hope, courage and triumph and as the tension eased my giving moment revealed itself.

While I was in Ghana at Street Girls Aid I bought a bunch of necklaces made by the girls as a means of developing a trade and making an income...in fact, I bought every necklace they had in stock. Street Girls Aid is really a hopeful shining example of building self worth, empowering girls and restoring dignity and so I brought out an African basket filled with necklaces and asked each person there to choose one to take as a remembrance of the hope that they represented. When I went back to Baltimore several years later to visit my friend Cheryl, she and her daughters greeted me each wearing the necklace that they chose that night.

❦ A gift can be a wonderful remembrance

Fifth Interlude ❦ Preparing for the future

The Fifth Interlude ❦ Preparing for the future

Everyday that I write this journal I have had the opportunity to re-experience the gifts that I received daily as I gave; and I am finding myself smiling, tearing up and straight out laughing out loud as I remember each day. When I began writing this journal, I wasn’t sure what I was hoping to accomplish - I just knew I had a story to tell...the words were writing themselves and I couldn’t rest until I put them on paper.  It wasn’t until the fifth or sixth person told me that I needed to publish this story that I began to focus my attention on that...me publishing?

Well now I am quite certain that I will be publishing this story and want to make it very interactive so that the reader can not only enjoy the experience and share the daily story - but can also write their own story...have their own giving experiences to live and then share. So each daily story will be accompanied by a blank page with the following prompts: Day; The Gift (what did you give); The story behind the gift (why did you give what you did); Observations (how people, including yourself, responded); Feelings  (how did you feel?); Thoughts about the experience (what did you learn).

For your convenience and experience, I have included a blank journal page on this site for you to use and I would love to hear how your giving experiences go...that would be your gift to me. Give, receive, share and enjoy!

❦ Preparing for the future

Day 34 - ❦ Freedom of opinion is a gift to be honored

Day 34

The Gift: A political button

I am always surprised at how our kids can both reflect who we are and who we are not all at the same time. My friends from college are in Minnesota visiting me and they are staying with me my family - we are all having a great time. One of the great delights that I have had during their stay is watching as their personalities and quirks show up in their two children, and I suppose, they may be observing the same thing about me and my family. My friend Cheryl is an attorney. She is brilliant and could have gone into any law practice she wanted; and she did. She works for the Public Defenders Office for the City of Baltimore. Pretty hard core work, but she believes in social justice to the core of her being. Maybe that’s why we have been good friends for so many years. Her oldest daughter, Julia, is eleven years old and is tall and lanky, really good at sports and very smart. Already she is politically engaged and will take on any political debate that comes her way and will hold her own. It has been really great having another feisty young person in our home for an additional spark to the spirited debates that happen around here.

We have always considered ourselves extremely tolerant of others who have differing opinions than we do, and in fact, we often hold differing opinions within our own household. Accepting others’ opinions, or providing a platform for a wide range of opinions does not mean that we feel a need to “convert” others to see our side of things. We simply want to provide a platform for ideas, opinions and dreams to percolate and land where they do for our selves and our kids to try on until they find something that resonates within themselves. And as a result, dinner and party conversations are often lively, exciting and offer plenty for all of to think about...really a lot of fun. Sometimes the discussion gets tense and we have to agree to disagree, but I would have to say that I have always learned something from every conversation that has ever taken place in our home. That in and of itself is a huge gift that we receive from those who are open and honest with their thoughts, ideas, opinions and dreams. In short, we cultivate and value developing and sharing opinions. That value is not always popular within systems that work to maintain the “status quo” and so I am sure you can imagine that my husband and myself are frequently called into parent-teacher conferences because our girls are arguing, sharing their opinions or dissenting with authorities. As long as it is respectful, we shrug in sympathy with the teacher and let them know that we value spirited discussion in our home.

While my friends are visiting with their girls the nights are long with discussion. Even though we are pretty like-minded, we all have differing views on the root causes of problems and thus the systemic solutions. Our children engage in these and other political discussions and offer fresh perspectives - the discussions are rich and lively! After one such discussion the girls take off for a walk. I notice that Julia has a messenger bag that is covered with buttons; some say things I can’t repeat and others are throw-backs to the nineteen sixties and seventies. My gifting opportunity has just presented itself.

Minnesota is a hotbed for political activity and our exchange student went to hear John Kerry speak in Rochester, Minnesota when he was here recently. She picked up an extra button for me which I retrieved from my bulletin board and slipped onto Julia’s messenger bag. It was perfect. She is a Kerry supporter and was proud to have her political opinions recognized and valued by the gift.

     ❦ Freedom of opinion is a gift to be honored

Freedom of expression vandalized again!

Author's Note: The sadness that hits me as I read this post is indescribable...for the second time during this current political year the political signs that I have proudly displayed in my yard have been vandalized and stolen. The violation of my freedom to have an opinion is really hurtful and is impacting me to my core. Although they are "just signs" they represent something that I believe in...a basic right which belongs to all in this country...the freedom of speech - no matter whether or not you agree with the particular opinion...we have a freedom to express our opinions...or at least had one.

Day 33 ❦ Some gifts are just simply a surprise.

Day 33

The Gift: A wall hanging.

Earlier I mentioned that almost immediately after I started this exercise, people began responding in unusual ways that not only did I notice, but in ways that my friends and family began commenting on. Today was just such a day.

My college roommate Cheryl and her husband and their two daughters were visiting us in Minnesota. They had just been visiting relatives at a family reunion in North Dakota and stopped by on the long drive back to the east coast. I always enjoy spending time with them. The kind of friendship that I have with Cheryl is the kind that everyone should have. We can go for years without talking and when we do connect, it seems like we have spent everyday of our lives talking. The friendship is easy, fun and filled with admiration and respect for each other.

I have been looking forward to their arrival since I learned they were going to be passing through and was even more excited when I realized that they were going to be in town during the huge SPAM Jam that happens every now and then in Austin, Minnesota; home of Hormel Foods Company which makes SPAM right here in Austin. The festivities take place over several days and we are going to the carnival first today. There are rides, games and entertainment happening all over the park, the weather is a little hot but sunny and there are people everywhere. The girls are having a blast and I am enjoying watching my friends as they take in all that is SPAM, SPAM carving contests, SPAM eating contests and the SPAMettes performing SPAM songs from the amphitheater. Then, from nowhere a man walks up to me and gives me a beautiful 4x6 inch wall hanging. As he hands it to me he say, “I am giving this to you to give to someone else” and walks away.

I do not recognize the man and I am too stunned to run after him to ask his name, so I stand there and look at the wall hanging. It is a small framed drawing of a peaceful looking little girl with two angels looking over her. I had all kinds of things I was thinking about gifting today and yet this seemed too perfect an opportunity to pass up. So I went to the rides area and watched to find a Mom who looked a little frazzled and stressed. It did not take long to find her. I walked up to her and handed her the wall hanging and told her that I was instructed to give her that gift and then I turned and walked away. For the rest of the day I neither ran into the man from whom I had received the gift, nor the woman to whom I had passed it along. I did find myself laughing out loud several times in disbelief that I had been the person to whom the gift had been handed to pass along.

❦ Some gifts are just simply a surprise for both the giver and the receiver.

Day 32 ❦ Simple acts can help the environment too.

Day 32

The Gift: Milk Caps

I have already mentioned that I am a saver. In addition to saving everything, I also save trash from its final destination. So, the drawer by the kitchen sink is filled with Campbell Soup labels and milk tops that have been collecting for years. Today, as I try to fill the void that is huge in the house that our exchange student just left I am trying to find something to clean. I turn to vacuuming first and cleaning drawers and closets next when I need to be in control of something. Vacuuming works the best because I can always see that I have accomplished something as the vacuum works the room.

However, today, my floors are spotless - apparently I have needed to control something for several days and have vacuumed everything in sight. So, cleaning the closets are the next best thing - but as I go from one closet to the next, I realize that they are going to take more emotional energy than I have today, so I am going to focus my efforts on the smallest drawer in the kitchen...which I can’t open it is so jammed with “stuff.” Once I jimmy the drawer open, pour out the contents and sort the junk into themes - obvious throw-a-ways, interesting stuff to go back in the drawer, birthday candles and pens I am left with hundreds of milk tops and Campbell Soup labels. The perfect gifts! I will have to wait until school starts to give the Campbell Soup labels but there are easily twenty dollars in five cent milk tops. I bag them up and take them straight away to a local preschool which can turn them in for playground equipment and other educational items. There was no one around to receive the gift, and so I leave the bag on the Director’s desk. Giving anonymously is not prohibited. I find myself leaving thrilled that I was able to gift my trash knowing that it will keep on giving once the caps are turned in for items and also reduce the burden on the landfill. Wow, a double-bonus.

❦ Simple acts and simple gifts can help the environment too.

Day 31 ❦ Embrace our humanness.

Day 31

The Gift:

My giving notebook

I knew that I was going to have to write about this day for years. When I began this exercise I found the cutest little notebook whose cover in a black and white with yellow sepia tones pictured a smiling little girl dressed in a happy yellow flowered sun dress holding a daisy that was larger than her. It was perfect - giving larger than life, happiness and hope all bundled up in one little book.

The first page begins...”To Serve, Create and Bring Joy!” On the left hand side of each page is a date, month and day of the month,  followed by a description of the gift that I gave and a few notes about any observations, gifts received, the pieces of the story that I would write about later and any feelings that I had about that particular giving experience. I wanted it to be easy to record and then later transfer into the journal that you are reading now.

The note book itself is 4 inches by 6 inches, each page holds between 3 - 5 gifting experiences and filled with one great story after another. Despite its size, there is enough room in the notebook for me to use it for the second cycle of giving that I am conducting now and in fact, I could consider 5 or 6 more cycles of 100 days of giving and still have plenty of room to record everything I need to remember each day’s experience. That is except for today’s giving experience...

Today, Day 31 of the first 100 Days of Giving is blank. And not blank as in I forgot to write down what happened, blank as in I just didn't give anything today. I didn't forget to give, I didn't forget to write down the giving experience. I just didn't give anything today.

Knowing that I was planning on writing about my entire experience, I wrestled with just rolling day 32 into this day and shifting all of the subsequent days, but that didn't feel right. I thought about writing something philosophical like I gave of myself somewhere, but I didn't  I thought about staring all over since I hadn't really had 100 consecutive days of giving...but then I realized that we are all human and despite the challenges and standards that we set for ourselves, it is okay to recognize that we are all human and need a day off.

When I began this exercise 30 days ago, I was at an all-time low and was looking for something to kick-start me back into the human race. I needed something to move me outside of myself and I needed to be open to others’ needs instead of focusing on my own. To beat myself up for missing a day would defeat all that had been accomplished and I was unwilling to diminish all of the great things that had happened in the past 30 days. Intentionally giving, focusing on others, being open to interacting with people in new ways has added a dimension to my life that I not only appreciate and love, but that gives me something to look forward to each day. Today it just wasn't there and I needed to give into that. Period.

Now, the challenge is that just because I gave in today...will that make it easier to give in tomorrow? Or the next day? So now I know what I need to do. I need to intentionally add one day off each month when I can intentionally take the day off. God rested on the 7th day, surely it is okay for me to rest on the 30th day. So Be It. That is what I am going to do. Today...I rested.

❦ Embrace our humanness.

Day 30 ❦ Share your heart

Day 30

The Gift: A farewell event

I have avoided writing about this for a while but today has come and I can not avoid it anymore. Today is the day that Nina, our exchange student from Denmark leaves. Now I know that I am writing this at the risk of having all of our other exchange students read this thinking that their departure was less significant. They were not. Nina just happened to be our student who left during the time that I was writing this and practicing the exercise of giving.

When our students arrive for the year and I greet them at the airport, they are tired, scared and usually a little bewildered. Here they are - in a new country with people they do not know, speaking a language that they do not get - and this is their new home, their new family for an entire year. At that moment a year seems like it will be an eternity, and there are certainly days when it feels like that on all sides of the exchange. But on that first day it is impossible to fathom how absolutely hard the next trip to the airport will be. Well, today is that day.

All of the new security at the airport has made it even more difficult because we used to be able to morosely sit around at the gate crying, waiting, and giving final hugs as the student boarded the plane. We would then all stand and watch as the plane’s hatches closed and slowly pulled away from the terminal tears streaming down all of our faces. One year one of our student’s friends arrived at the gate after she had boarded and begged boarding passengers to tell her that they were there so she could come out and give them one last goodbye (which both they and she did).

Now, we can not avail ourselves of this transitional, painful time. Now we get to stand and watch as our students get searched, wanded, as they strip off their shoes and belts, and have the pins on their exchange jackets confiscated. A stark contrast. Regardless, the final goodbye at the airport is hard beyond words.

When a student leaves their family and friends for a year, it is courageous and hard for all - but in the back of everyone’s minds, the student will return, albeit changed. When that same student leaves us to return home - we  know that we may never see them again and it tears up my heart every time. Several of our students have returned and I hold on to that hope of seeing all of them again. Nina is no exception. We are all going to miss Nina and the ride to the airport is quiet and miserable with an underlying excitement that is natural since she will be returning to family and friends she has not seen for a year. Hugely conflicting emotions swirl in the car.

We have learned that the more people at the airport, the more difficult it is for the student as they begin their long journey home, having to deal with the travel part of the experience, focusing on checking in, getting their luggage straightened out and making the emotional shift. So today, it is only my oldest daughter, Alison and myself who are taking Nina to the airport. There are extended moments of quiet and reflection and we accept those awkward moments. Nina is torn between talking about things and people she will miss while talking about those she is looking forward to seeing. So we naturally settle on talking about food. The love of good food is such a universal concept. She lists all of the food she loved while in the United States and what she will eat first when she is home. The two hour drive to the airport goes by quickly.

As a way of breaking up the tension, we go to my favorite eating experience near the airport - Rainforest Café. It is a great place to go as a distraction with thunderstorms raining down, apes grunting, elephants bellowing, and dolphins playing. For desert we order a volcano which is a huge pile of ice cream, chocolate, brownies, whipped cream all with a sparkler on top. A great way to go out. Off to the airport, lots of waiting, lots of haggling with airport personnel and baggage handlers, dealing with the other exchange students and their sad friends and families, and finally they all clear security and all we can do is wave from a distance and know that they are now on the next part of their trip. The emotional cost of the day is huge. I have to remind myself that the depth of the pain is in direct proportion to the depth of the love. Today the gift is both giving and receiving love.

❦ Share your heart