Interlude ❦ Give thanks to those who give

Interlude

Recently, in real time (2012) I had the privilege to travel to Ghana to work with the staff at Street Girls Aid, a non-profit oorganization working with street children. You can read about some of the lessons learned at www.csksghana.blogspot.com  This was our second trip there in 2012 to help develop capacity within the leadership at Street Aid so that they can continue to serve the 61,000 street children living, working, and sleeping on the streets of Accra, Ghana. As usual, the experience changed me in ways of which books are written. The undertaking was made possible by many people who supported and continue to support projects or initiatives that help nurture and grow sustainability within organizations in developing countries. There is no way possible to thank each and every person, although I have been diligently trying, the numbers are significant and many of the donors and supporters anonymous.

The staff at Street Girls Aid sent us back to the United States with personal thank yous written by them and addressed to the Presidents of the ten Rotary Clubs that financially supported the grant that made it possible to conduct this work, they also sent a variety of other thank yous for us to deliver. I in turn made up a thank you flyer that has been sent or handed personally to another 60 people, but I know I am still missing countless people - so I have decided to post the thank you here.

Giving thanks is as powerful as giving gifts. In this case, I wanted people to know that their support not only made a difference, but that it made an impact...on more people's lives than we will ever know, like a ripple on one side of the world that becomes a wave that can lift a surfer. So today I simply and humbly give thanks to whomever has given. Period.

We will never know what ripple we made that will lift someone up somewhere else, we do it all the time without any thought of having to know outcome. For creating that ripple - THANK YOU!

❦ Give thanks to those who give. Here’s how I am thanking those who recently supported me:

Day 69 ❦ Give and be part of something bigger than yourself

Day 69 ❦ Give and be part of something bigger than yourself

The Gift: A plank, or two...

We decided to go to the same church we attended last week because we really loved what they were doing, in our on-going search for churches, we are hooping that we can soon make a decision. You can imagine my delight when today, there was another guest speaker (I have since learned that this is not uncommon in the summertime.)

Today’s talk was about Habitat for Humanity, which apparently has been a mission out-reach for the First Congregational Church of Austin. Not only does the church support Habitat for Humanity financially, but there are also a number of people within the congregation who are Habitat for Humanity volunteers. This particular church has a lot of people who are active in the community, politics and internationally...I think I am getting closer to finding a church home!

As with any inspirational talk, the audience is jumping out of our seats asking, how can we help? What can we do? And the speakers were ready, outside in the parking lot they had had delivered a load of planks that would be used to build the next house and we were given the opportunity to purchase the wood for the building of the house. The volunteers had pencils ready and they asked us to write messages of hope, inspiration and well-wishes on the wood for the family that would be selected next week to be the beneficiaries fo the building project.

It was fun, creative and it really made me feel like I was part of something bigger...again!

❦ Give and be part of something bigger than yourself

Day 68 ❦ Continue to Support a Courageous Person

Day 68  ❦ Continue to Support a Courageous Person

The Gift: A Sumner Cookbook

The great thing about new exchange students is that they typically present many giving opportunities and today is no exception. It is not that they are so needy, but instead I think it is our desire to ensure that they feel cared about.

Sisselin’s host family is holding an open house for the community, Rotarians and school mates to meet her. Having a Norwegian student has garnered a lot of attention, perhaps because of the strong Scandinavian roots here in the mid-west - and people are really excited to meet her. Not surprisingly, most of the conversations with her are related to weather (COLD) and food (plentiful and traditional) and during one of those conversations Sisselin tells me that she loves to cook and is excited about learning how to cook meals that are typical here.

Well, I don’t have to be told twice! I love to cook and I love to learn about cooking so I strike a deal with her that we will have some time to share cooking strategies, she agrees and I get her started with a cookbook produced by my daughter’s elementary school as a fund-raiser for playground equipment. Bam giving opportunity complete - and perfect for the occasion. I love it!

❦ Continue to Support a Courageous Person

Day 67 ❦ Support a Courageous Person

Day 67 ❦ Support a Courageous Person

The Gift: A Senior T-Shirt

The Austin Rotary Club has become very active in hosting International Exchange Students through Rotary International. This exchange program differs from so many of the other ones because it is run completely on volunteer efforts and with the support of the local Rotary Clubs, so the students get a great value and both the students and their host families get a lot of support. I love youth exchange and my family has supported the exchange program by hosting nine students in our home, sending our daughter outbound to live in France for a year and, by supporting our nephew as a Rotary Exchange Student in Argentina for a year. Rotary Youth Exchange has changed our lives, and I know the lives of so many people around us.

Each August (typically, although sometimes the Southern Hemisphere students arrive in December...brrrrr), a new student arrives; tired, nervous, yet filled with that eager anticipation that is characteristic of children willing to leave their home, family and friends for a year and venture out into the world alone. Such brave individuals. I am filled with admiration every time I meet a new student, and that admiration grows daily as I watch them spread their own wings and fly.

Today I am taking the new student to Austin High School to enroll. Sisselin is from Norway and while her English skills are pretty good, the process of school enrollment is pretty mind-boggling for a local, so I am clearing the path for her to have a successful year. It is also a good reminder for me of all that our community has to offer because after we are done with the school enrollment, we will go get her a library card, a YMCA membership, etc.... This is one of my favorite days with youth exchange students.

As we are enrolling her in the gym, going from one of the many stations to the next; and ten tables later we arrive at the senior t-shirt signing booth. The seniors at Austin High School traditionally produce a t-shirt with everyone’s signature on it along with a class slogan - which is usually determined during the year. The shirt is worn at Home-coming and various other senior celebrated events throughout the year and it is definitely something that we want Sisselin to be part of. Unfortunately, the cost is $10 and her monthly allowance is only $80, so that will eat up a substantial percentage of her allowance and today is only her second day in Austin. So I realize that my giving opportunity for today has revealed itself. Done, Sisselin is now an official member of the senior class. It’s the least I can do to support her bravery and courage.

 ❦ Support a Courageous Person

Day 66 ❦ Give because it is the right thing to do.

Day 66 ❦ Give because it is the right thing to do.

The Gift: Stamps to the Diabetes Association

I don’t usually respond to unsolicited phone calls for funds. It is not because I am insensitive, quite the opposite, I am concerned about the cycle of dependency it creates for non-profits and I am usually appalled at the functional expense ratio. I have worked in the non-profit world for many, many years and that is why I ask about the functional expense ration - in layman’s terms, what I am asking is how much of every dollar is actually going to go toward the mission of the non-profit.

Typically, a responsible non-profit spends less than 15% on “non-functional expenses” which is a misnomer, because the administrative costs are usually included in this percentage as is the cost of an audit, or Directors and Officer insurance. While these expenses typically don’t add to direct service, the organization could not function in conducting its mission without those expenses. But the real number to look at is the percentage of expenses that a non-profit includes in its non-functional expenses for fund-raising. A really good ratio would be 10%-15% of the fund-raiser supporting the expenses of the fund-raiser, and of that percentage, the fund-raiser should only marginally impact the non-functional expenses of an organization.

So, when a professional fund-raiser calls me and asks me to support an organization, I always ask what percentage of the funds goes toward the actual organization. Usually when I ask the question I get transferred to a supervisor and then get accidently hung up on, or they come back with a pat response with which they ensure me that 15% of all funds collected will go to the charity. The Police Officers Association is my favorite, because usually when I ask the question, they cuss at me...nice...

This is a long response to why I don’t usually give to those who call me on the phone, unsolicited, but it is important to be informed - just check it out the next time you get a call from a solicitor fund-raising for a charity. And know, that they are required by law to give you the answer to that question. It’s just good to know where your money is going and who is the real beneficiary.

So you can imagine my surprise to my own response to a phone call I received for the Diabetes Association asking me to contribute the stamps for a fund-raising drive in my neighborhood. I said yes. They send a packet of envelopes which I distribute to the neighborhood with the stamps that I have donated on them so that my neighbors can just send in their contributions. I can’t tell you why I liked this better than the alternatives; saying no, or giving cash. But when asked, they reported that their functional expense ratio was with tolerable limits (for me) in part, because much of their overhead was donated in the form of people paying for the stamp and partially distributing the envelopes. So I bit. Ten stamps later, the envelopes are all in my neighbors doors and it was kind of fun.

❦ Day 66 Give because it is the right thing to do.

Day 65 ❦ Give intentionally

Day 65 ❦ Give intentionally

The Gift: Cash

I don’t know about you, but I love the Fair. We happen to live in the County seat and so the Mower County Fair is a big deal. And, it is a free fair so that is an even bigger deal. Except, free is not really free when you talk about a Fair. Sure, we don’t have to pay to enter the grounds, and there is a lot to see and do that does not require money, but who can resist the Tom Thumb Donuts, the friend pickles on a stick, the cheese curds, cotton candy, freshly made lemonade...you get the idea. I can smell the food wafting in my office just thinking about all of that wonderful Fair food.

What is it about Fair food that makes it so enticing? I don’t know but I know that when I head off to the Fair, I’d better have some major money in my pockets so that all of my Fair food urges get satisfied. Now, it is bad enough that I can’t resist this food, but trying to control a child who is experiencing this same bombardment of senses is fruitless. So today, as we head off to the Fair I decide that I am going to tip the begging balance and eliminate it. I give our children money without being asked and they are now in control of their food destiny. It was one of the smartest gifts I’ve given and it was really fun to watch as they started adding the various selections in their minds, balancing out their resources with their desires.

In the end, both girls decided to save some on their money and play some games instead of sending it all on food. What fun, and what a lesson for me. I shifted the begging balance by intentionally giving. Pretty cool.

❦ Give intentionally and empower someone else.

Day 64 ❦ Give just for fun.

Day 64 ❦ Give just for fun.

The Gift: A special sunny side up kitchen tool

My husband is the breakfast guy. Not only does he love to eat breakfast daily, he LOVES to cook breakfast. When we tailgate at football games, he is in his element making pancakes, eggs, bacon, hash browns...you name it, for the masses. He often have a line of 10 or more people we don’t know lined up to enjoy his talents. I suppose I should write about some of those times because we have certainly provided a number of gifts during those times!

While I was in Boulder last week, I went into my all time favorite kitchen store, The Peppercorn. It has grown quite a bit since we were there and I spent several hours in a few trips just looking around, gawking would be more like it. While I was shopping at the Peppercorn, I happened across a cute little cast iron mold in the shape of shining sun for making the cutest little sunny-side up eggs. It made me smile just to see and then again when I gave them to my husband today (I bought a set). No one is tailgating at the Iowa Hawkeye football games making molded eggs in the shape of a sun! I can’t wait for the next game when Breakfast Chef Stan takes out his special molds and makes other people smile too!

❦ Today, give just for fun.

Day 63 ❦ Give so others can give

Day 63 ❦ Give so others can give

The Gift: Cash for social justice work

I currently do not have an organized religious affiliation, but the time is coming when I will need to make a decision about joining a church since our youngest daughter is really longing to belong to that kid of an organization and while I think it would also be good for her, we have reached a point in our community that will make it important for all of us to attend as a family. Now this is a tough one, because church played a major role in both my husband’s and my own lives as children, but as many adults have, we drifted from organized religion - both of us, for very different reasons. But regardless of our own opinions, we both believe that it is really important for our children to be exposed to a wide variety of opinions, beliefs and experiences so as to better be able to cultivate independent thought and make an independent decision informed by experience and knowledge as opposed to fear and folly. This is often much harder said than done.

When our oldest daughter was growing up, she decided to attend a church that had very different beliefs than we did and while we supported her, we could not subject ourselves to the theology which in our opinion was hurtful to others. While we monitored her experiences closely, to ensure that we could provide alternative ideas when she had questions, we let her struggle with the extremes to which she was exposed - the views of her church community and her real life experiences as a compassionate human being. In the end she left that church and was clear in her mind about that decision. In retrospect, she has told us that she appreciated the experience and the chance to solidify some of her foundational beliefs through her own experiences.

The gift of hindsight while valuable now, didn’t make it easy when it was happening, and has not helped our current situation because our younger daughter has chosen to attend a church that continually tells her that she will not see her parents when she dies because we are going to hell because we don’t belong to their church. After coming home in tears after being told this three weeks in a row, we have decided that we just need to find a church and go as a family so we can all process together, and apparently, all go to hell together - since we will not be members of a church that uses those types of tactics to scare people into joining.

There are 57 churches in this small town of 23,000 people and so we just start by attending a different church each week, and today is our 8th church visit. Interestingly, when we were considering moving to Austin, my husbands parents and he and I attended this church on the Sunday of his interview fourteen years earlier. It is a Congregational Church and I am from New England and so it really feels like home to me. This Sunday there is a speaker who is talking about providing literacy for women in Nepal and supporting the graduates of his program by giving them a seminated goat. His name is Dr. Earl Thompson and I couldn’t get my checkbook out fast enough when the offering came around to support his work. I love sustainable development concepts and I am moved by literacy work. I am so thrilled that we happened to be at this church at this moment to feel like we could be part of something bigger than all of us put together. I can’t wait to learn more about this church that has as its sermon a conversation about how to help raise women out of poverty. This is home and a place where I can help make a difference. And so today, I do.

❦ Give so others can give

Day 62 ❦ Give the gift of music

Day 62 ❦ Give the gift of music

The Gift: A set of bells, a snare drum and a drum practice pad

I am almost embarrassed to tell you that I had to receive a note from the Austin Music Boosters Club to realize that I had this gift just siting in my basement waiting to be given. But at the same time, I appreciate it when people ask for what they want, so I will put this gift in that category.

Fifth grade has always been a difficult time for me as a parent who really feels strongly about the value of music. In Austin, fifth grade is when kids get to explore instruments and can try out violins, cellos, horns of all kinds - it is so great, despite having to sit through painful concerts supporting all of those budding artists. But it is fifth grade when the class divide begins to reveal itself.

Children whose parents cannot possibly afford to rent an instrument, pay for private lessons, pay the school fees or purchase the music and required accessories drop out of music. Period. They disappear and begin that long silent march through a privileged and elitist school district which sets barriers to participating in almost anything with their fees, equipment charges and the requirement that children find their own transportation to and from practices and or home after practice; closing the door on so many children who begin to learn in fifth grade that they are different than those children whose parents can afford to support them.

I am especially sensitive to this because I was fortunate enough to have been raised in a school district that made it a point to ensure equal access for all, otherwise I would not have been able to participate in music and field hockey. My mother couldn’t afford to feed me, and as you have read in earlier posts, we were twice evicted from our homes, so there was no possibility of coming up with money to pay for fees for anything. But I was fortunate because my school didn’t charge anything, we didn’t have to prove we were poor to get “free and reduced options”(which as a child is pretty humiliating and you just stop asking), there was an after school activity bus and all of us were encouraged to participate in everything. I do credit those opportunities with saving my life - but that is for another day.

But in Austin, in fifth grade, the class divide begins. And it broke my heart each time our daughters went through the fifth grade trial time with their friends and had to watch while most of their friends quietly dropped out of music, despite a deep love of the violin, or cello...argh I can still see all of those children’s faces and it makes me so sad.

But this is a story of hope! Because today I got a letter from the Austin Music Boosters Association asking us if we have any musical instruments sitting around that they would accept as donations, fix up and GIVE to students who needed them. I was so excited to get this letter! I couldn’t pack up all of our instruments fast enough and took them right in. Of course! Why hadn’t I thought of that sooner? I did get some relief knowing that I could be part of something to open access to others of the gift of music. Perhaps you have an instrument that is lying around your house collecting dust...

❦ Give the gift of music

Interlude - ❦ One Hundred Days is a Long Time to do Anything

Interlude -  ❦ One Hundred Days is a Long Time to do Anything

I am back from my work in Ghana, and the entire experience was one solid gift, from the planning, implementing and processing portions of the experience - all of it combined was like getting a PhD. Although we had been asked to come back to continue our work in capacity development - I left much richer, more humble and with more confidence than ever before.  Every moment was life affirming. A gift indeed.

While I was in Ghana, the woman with whom I was working, Cathy, said something that is really important about this experience of 100 days of giving. She said, “one hundred days is a long time to do anything” and I agree. She also asked me some questions about the chronology of the actual one hundred days of giving exercise and the additional exercise of writing the journal which is what you are all reading in this blog. She, as other readers who have asked me the same thing, had some confusion about the time line of the events about which I have been writing and so I will take this post to clarify.

The actual exercise of giving occurred in 2004 and took place over a one hundred day span. Now, as many of you know from my latest posts, there were some days during those one hundred days that I did not give anything, in fact, over the course of the one hundred days, there are three days where I forgot or my “blahness” took over and I did not complete the daily exercise. No excuses. One hundred days is a long time to do anything. In my writing I shared that in hindsight, I was giving myself the gift of a day off, or of patience, or of taking care of myself and I still hold to that. So beginning in July of 2004, I woke up each day with the focus on giving.

When I began the exercise, I was not expecting it to last one hundred days and it was not until I surpassed the fortieth day that I realized that I could continue for another sixty. No, when I began, I just thought I would try it for a day, and then another day, and then another day, until forty days had passed and I not only liked the sound of  “one hundred days of giving”, but I had also grown rather attached to the exercise. Without jumping ahead of myself too much, I will share here that when I ended the exercise at one hundred days I suffered quite a bit of giving withdrawal...more on that later...

So July 2004 is when the exercise began and while I jotted down notes in my journal, with feelings, observations, estimated value of the gift and any unusual occurrences, I did not sit down to actually write the journal that you are all reading until 2008. In hindsight, I understand the reasons for the delay in writing and will share some of those toward the end of the journal, but the fact that I did not write the journal in a finished product really bothered me for sometime. And the fact that I did not publish the journal until four more years later really really bothered me - until Cathy said, “one hundred days is a long time to do anything.”

When I heard her say that I realized that I had actually engaged in three separate exercises that spanned one hundred days - the original one hundred days giving exercise, the next one hundred days of writing, and then the third one hundred days of publishing the work. Whew! Clarity for me!

So what you are reading actually occurred in 2004, thus the stories about the Austin floods, what you are reading was actually written in 2008, and the work that is being published on this blog has fresh annotations, updates and author’s notes that are informed by current events. To add to these layers, during the process of publishing the journal, I have begun a second cycle of one hundred days of giving and am using the same process - using the journal, which is posted on the tab titled journal here, to keep notes and I will write about it at a later date. So there is much more to come and I can’t wait to begin that next chapter. However, prior to the “next cycle of one hundred days of giving” being written, I am planning on self-publishing the first exercise in paperback complete with a daily journal after each daily post for the reader to complete - so stay tuned.

I do hope this helps you to understand the time line of events related to these posts. I have so enjoyed all of the phases of the project and I especially enjoy the feedback that all of you have been giving me about your own experiences of giving. Keep it up, I know first hand what an impact this kind of experience can have and I am happy to share that with all of you. And, thank you Cathy for your gift of asking the right question.

❦ When you need clarity, just ask the question.

100 Days of Giving will Continue Shortly

The daily journal of 100 Day of Giving, An Exercise in Hope will continue at the beginning of December. Although the 100 Days of Giving continues without interruption, the recording of the journalling is taking a short break while the author is in Africa...follow that journey on:

http://csksghana.blogspot.com/

And, until then...be compassionate, give of yourself... and breathe!

Day 61❦ Give yourself a gift

Day 61 ❦ Give yourself a gift

The Gift: I gave myself the gift of a break

Today I remain in a funk. It is difficult to get excited about even eating...which says something. I am feeling pretty defeated - to get to 61 days and feel like I did when I started. This funk is where I was firmly planted when I began...or is it? If I were to look back over the past 61 days and count the people impacted (myself included) the value of the gifts exchanged, both tangible and intangible and the joy that I (at the least) received in the giving...isn't that enough? And, as I began reviewing all of the entries of the past two months, I began to smile, just thinking about someone's reaction, the surprise in the a person's eyes, and the way my heart felt when a gift just serendipidously dropped into place...I couldn't help but smile. Isn't that enough? Well it needs to enough for right now - not for tomorrow because now I remember why I am doing this exercise in giving - it is not because I was in a funk - it was to get me out of it. Funks will come and go and the only thing I am in control of is how I choose to deal with it...so for today I am hanging with the funk, but I have taken myself off of the hook and eliminated the pressure of having to give anyone anything...and in that, I gave myself the greatest gift I could have gotten today - patience. Hurray for me!

❦ Today, give yourself a gift...

Day 60 ❦ Giving fatigue strikes

Day 60 ❦ Giving fatigue strikes

The Gift: None

Today giving fatigue hit. I could have inserted an interlude, an idea, an inspiration, but I really want this to be real. Today I gave nothing. The long term impact of the flood has begun to sink in, I have just spent a week in my old home-town and am finding myself homesick. I am searching for a fulfilling job and am not finding it...and for the past 59 days I have been intensely focused on giving and today - I am given out. That's all I have today.

❦ Giving fatigue has sunk in

Day 59 ❦ Take time to share the gift of friendship with someone

Day 59 ❦ Take time to share the gift of friendship with someone

The Gift: Mother Africa

I am on my last day of spending a week in Boulder and have thoroughly enjoyed spending time with such good friends. All of them have welcomed me back into their lives and I have been filled with their joys, stories and triumphs. Tonight I am going to dinner at a friend of mine’s with whom I worked. I have so many funny stories I could tell about Denny, but I will sve that for another time - I will share with all of you that through an interesting set of circumstances - which involved me playing “cupid advisor” he met and married a person who was perfect for him, a woman named Ingrid and they ended up with two really wonderful boys. It makes me smile to think of them as a beautiful family.

After a wonderful dinner and walk we sit in their living room up in the mountains and really catch up - it is during this time that I get to share some of the lessons I learned while in Africa and get to present them with some of the gifts that I brought back from Africa - Mother Africa was the most fitting. What a wonderful gift to be able to share time with such great friends.

❦ Take time to share the gift of friendship with someone

Day 58 ❦ Be compassionate

Day 58  ❦  Be compassionate

The Gift: An offering to a social justice organization

When I travel I like to engage in new or different activities and often find myself at really fantastic local events, memorable, local and off the beaten path. I find these activities by asking locals what they would be doing – or what they would recommend a family member would do if they were visiting. This week I am in Boulder and I am interested in attending a church so I start looking through the newspaper for articles on churches that are doing something special.

As I read through the listings, I notice that there is a church that is having a social justice speaker come to talk about human rights in Africa – I am in. The service was moving and the speaker was memorable – filled with compassion and passion – in a way that is contagious. I feel motivated to do so much more in my own life and to find ways to support people who are living their passion – I can barely contain myself waiting for the opportunity to give – and give I do to both have compassion and support those who are compassionate.

❦ Today – be compassionate.

Authors note: Little did I realize that this would be the post that would occur the day after a Presidential election and I am thrilled that the lesson today is about compassion. The election season was filled with a lot of negative energy and regardless of whether or not your candidate won – please be compassionate to others – today more so than any other day, we have some healing to do as a country and it starts with each of us.

Day 57 ❦ Give a little more

Day 57 ❦ Give a little more

The Gift: An additional donation to Boulder Parks and Recreation

While I am in Boulder for work, I am taking time off to re-visit some of my old haunts and today I am excited because I am driving up Flagstaff Mountain located at the base of the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. A short 5 minute drive from downtown Boulder, Flagstaff Mountain climbs up several thousand feet to a summit elevation of 6,978 feet from Chautauqua Park and offers incredible views and hiking trails. But my fondest memories of Flagstaff is running up the mountain in a 7 mile race, training up the mountain and racing up it again. This particular mountain was made for my type of running, steep in the right places, lots of tangents to cut and then every now and then, the road levels off to allow us to catch our wind and start the climb over again. I love Flagstaff Mountain and even though I never won the Flagstaff race, I did take second place in the women’s division each time I raced it and my times weren’t too shabby.

But today I am just visiting and so I am going to drive my rental car up the mountain. Driving u the switchbacks I can remember each step of the road, the angles and the curves…just as I get to the half-way point, there is a gate and barrier – apparently the area is under a preservation act and is being protected…so a permit is now required and I will have to park far from the summit and walk to the amphitheater and overlooks. The fee to protect one of my favorite places is only $2.00 and I almost feel guilty paying so little for so much…so I put a $10 bill in the envelope and ask the park and rec department to keep the change. That is the least I can do.

❦ Today give a little more

Interlude ❦ Just Give Yourself

Interlude   ❦   Just Give Yourself

During the first series of 100 days of giving I have talked about the floods that devastated Austin, Minnesota and even though the magnitude is much greater in real time with Hurricane Sandy and the aftermath of the flooding and water and wind damage - the concepts of moving outside ourselves to find a way to give to those around us remain the same.

For this interlude I am posting 4 of the past posts which have received the most views as a means of prompting or priming the pump in the giving world. It is so easy to get so overwhelmed and consumed with the need that we may marginalize or underestimate our capacity and impact.

So today step outside yourself and do something for someone else, smile, show friendship, lend a helping hand - it does not need to cost anything...just give yourself.

Giving can create a sense of relief:
http://onehundreddaysofgiving.blogspot.com/2012/10/day-38-giving-can-create-sense-of-relief.html

Do something for someone else:
http://onehundreddaysofgiving.blogspot.com/2012/10/interlude-support-street-girls-aid.html

When you give, you give permission for others to give:
http://onehundreddaysofgiving.blogspot.com/2012/08/day-5-give-permission-to-others-to-give.html

And, the one that still makes me smile...
http://onehundreddaysofgiving.blogspot.com/2012/09/day-13-be-childlike-in-your-giving.html

Find a way to stretch yourself...

 ❦   Just Give Yourself

Day 56 ❦ Share the gift of friendship

Day 56  ❦  Share the gift of friendship

The Gift: Dinner out with some friends

I happen to be in Boulder for work and haven’t been here for several years. I lived in Colorado for 12 years before moving to Minnesota and I have been gone for many years. It is so nice catching up with friends and tonight I have invited a friend who I have not seen since I moved close to 15 years ago. Randy is the kind of friend who I feel very comfortable with and when we meet – It is like I never left – we have lots of stories and things to catch up on and the night goes quickly. He brings his wife who I have not met and we have a chance to forge new relationships. It is such a gift for me to have people in my life who are there for forever and who can help me remember sometimes about which I have fond memories. It is especially wonderful to be able to develop new relationships within the old ones and create new memories. The gift of dinner does not even come close to the gift I received in return.

Authors note: There have been many parallels in my current life with the time during which I was experiencing the first cycle of 100 days of giving – today is the craziest parallel however, since on the day that this will post – about an experience I had 8 years ago…I will be having dinner, sharing the gift of friendship and dinner with these same friends in Boulder.

❦  Share the gift of friendship

Day 55 ❦ Plan ahead, give now

Day 55  ❦ Plan ahead, give now

The Gift: Boxes of tea

Now this wasn’t just any box of tea, they were boxes of tea in a metal containers that look like a double-decker bus from England – it is real English tea, perfect for High Tea!  A couple of months ago on my way back from Africa I stopped in England for a few days to meet my daughter who was living in France as a Rotary Youth Exchange student and after touring London for a few days, we went to her host town of Bethune, France. It was a great stop between Africa and the United States and I hadn’t seen Alison for 9 months so it was even better than just having a nice respite between cultures.

While I was having fun being a tourist in London I stopped by a grocery store to look around for special goodies to bring back home for gifts. I was pretty well stocked up on Africa goodies, but really needed a wider range of gifts. The first thing I spotted when I entered the little shop was an entire display of teas. Perfect – I bought several containers and knew exactly who was going to get them. Mission accomplished – all that was left to do was to actually give the gifts and today was the day. I brought the tea into work and handed the cute containers to all of the people who I work with who I knew liked tea – it was really fun and much appreciated by the tea drinkers.

❦Plan ahead, give now

Day 54 ❦ A reward can double as a gift

Day 54       ❦      A reward can double as a gift

The Gift: A Staples Gift Certificate

As a trainer and facilitator I often order training supplies on behalf of the organization or client for whom I am working. I order almost all of my supplies from Staples because they are so convenient. Living in rural Minnesota, we don’t have a lot of options for almost everything so when I moved here I quickly became a fan of mail order. Now before you ask – I am probably the biggest supporter of buying local – period. But, if the product in the quality that I need is not available when I need it – I have to develop a plan b. Staples is just such a plan b – not only do I get free and quick delivery, but I can place my order on-line at a time that works for me – which is usually well into the late night hours. They also have a member reward program which I like quite a bit. So what does this have to do with giving?

Since much of the ordering I am doing is with other people’s money as part of their project – I think about what to do with the substantial gift certificates I get in their member reward program – it always feels like a bonus when they arrive and I certainly appreciate getting the rewards.

This evening I was at a Board meeting for a pre-school that my daughter attends. Apple Lane is also an organization that I helped to acquire their non-profit status and sit on their Board of Directors and I really appreciate all that they do not only for me and my family, but for the entire community. During the directors report I learned that teacher appreciation day was coming up and there was no money in the budget to support getting each teacher a little gift. I reached into my purse and pulled out the $112 Staples reward coupon that had arrived in the mail earlier in the day and turned it over to the Director to purchase goodies for the teachers. What fun!

❦      A reward can double as a gift

Day 53 ❦ Give in a way that multiplies

Day 53 ❦ Give in a way that multiplies

The Gift: 4 Sumner School Cookbooks

I am currently active on my children’s Parent Teacher Council...something that would make people who knew me pre-kids laugh. Me, on the PTC or PTA! One thing I learned when I moved from Boulder to rural Minnesota was that one passionate, committed person could really make a difference. In a larger community like Boulder or Baltimore - it is still possible to have an impact, but it is far more difficult. I learned this because when we moved to Austin, we moved into a school district with a high level of poverty and the elementary school continues to have a high percentage of free and reduced lunch participants (65% in 2011).

Arriving in town the day before my oldest was going to start kindergarten I was astonished to see that her elementary school was surrounded by asphalt and had no playground equipment...well...that needed to change, and the sooner the better.

So I got active in the major fund-raising arm of the elementary school and shortly after I set my mind on putting in a playground, we had raised the $34,000 to make it so. Today, almost 18 years later it is so much fun to drive by and see children playing on the fruits of our labor.
During the playground focused years, the PTC developed a strong fund-raising mechanism and began using those funds to support significant programs for the school.

When my younger daughter arrived at the elementary school 11 years later, there was still a lot to be done and the PTC decided to expand the playground equipment - requiring an additional $25,000...so I dug in and we raised the funds.

One of the most fun and effective fund-raisers we conducted was for families to submit recipes and to put together a cookbook. I submitted some of our family favorites and when the books were published, I did what most other contributing cooks did and purchased a case of the cookbooks which I am now enjoying giving away as gifts. I love it when a gift can give several times over - this one gives a minimum of 4 times and that is just so satisfying, even if I can only count is as one gift for this exercise.

❦ Give in a way that multiplies

Day 52 ❦ Sometimes a gift is a mystery even when you know what it is

Day 52 ❦ Sometimes a gift is a mystery even when you know what it is

The Gift: An infusor

Have you ever had one of those days? Well apparently, I was having just one of those kind of days today. When I was in the middle of the 100 Days of Giving exercise, I would often give the gift that became apparent during the day and would write down what the gift was, with some notes just like in the giving journal which I have posted. Well, today I did nothing of the sort. I simply wrote that I gave Alison an infusor.

Not only do I not remember that gift, I don’t even know what an infusor is! I am pretty good about making up words and then being able to use them in context - but there is no context here. Oh well, sure hope she enjoyed it and I do hope I figure out what it is at some point and I especially hope that I can figure out why it was important to give my daughter an infusor.

❦ Sometimes a gift is a mystery even when you know what it is

Day 51 ❦ Think outside the box today when you give

Day 51 ❦ Think outside the box today when you give

The Gift: A light-weight plate

I love the alliteration of this gift...a light-weight plate! I had a mother-in-law who was like my own. When my husband brought me into my in-laws lives, they accepted me as if I had been raised by them and I always looked to them as my own parents. I realize how lucky this makes me - not only was I embraced by my in-laws, but because I do not have a relationship with either of my own biological parents - I was able to have wonderful role models of caring, loving, accepting parents in my life - even if it was for a short 20 years. I still treasure that time with them and miss them both terribly.

My father-in-law was the first to go, which was a surprise to all of us - we had all assumed that because he was filled with life that he would be the last to go, but instead was struck down suddenly by a fast-growing brain tumor which left him incapacitated in a nursing home until finally his body gave up after a long 6 month hospitalization. His passing was very difficult for my mother-in-law who was practically crippled with osteoarthritis. During the 6 months that my father-in-law was in the nursing home, my mother-in-law had to rise to the challenge and begin to care for herself more so than in the past, and in fact, I have often wondered if my father-in-law held on that long to give her time to prepare to care for herself.

Alice, my mother-in-law, lost weight, gained competence in caring for herself and began to rise to the incredible challenge of moving forward as a single person and by the time Les, my father-in-law died - she was as ready as she could be. It was a difficult time in our family but my husband had a very close family and the siblings and grandchildren rallied to support Alice (who ended up living an additional 10 years...almost to the day). Sometime the support needed to be subtle because it was important not to point out her vulnerability, but instead to figure out how to bolster it. So the other day I found some really cute serving dishes that are made from plastic, but look like glass and are one-fourth of the weight - perfect for an active senior who still likes to entertain but who cannot carry heavy glass dishes. While I am at her house today, I replace some of those unused heavy glass serving platters with these nice light-weight plates and sneak away...giggling. I can’t wait for her to find them!

❦ Think outside the box today when you give

Authors note: While Alice did not find the platters while we were visiting that time, the next time we arrived at her house for the weekend, there were cookies laid out on the platters! FUN!

Consider Street Girls

During this weekend interlude, I am asking you to consider supporting an organization which works with some of the 51,000 children who live, work and sleep on the streets of Accra, Ghana. In two weeks I will be traveling to work with the organization Street Girls Aid - they work with girls and their babies who live, work and sleep on the street of Ghana in a variety of ways. You could support them by ordering some beautiful merchandise that the girls will work on in their sewing trade school while we are there and I will send you your order when I return at the beginning of December, just in time for the holidays.

By ordering something from the girls, you help to drive a market for their work, they will be paid for the work and you will have a beautiful gift to give to someone...with a great story.

To place an order - follow this link to the order form and send it to me right away - All orders need to be in to me by November 5th.

http://onehundreddaysofgiving.blogspot.com/p/street-girls-aid-handmade-goods-order.html

To learn more about Street Girls Aid follow this link:

http://www.said-ghana.com/

And then after you have ordered something from Street Aid follow this link and download a blank giving journal and write about the experience. Hint: You could include your thoughts you write in the journal in a card when you give the gift.

http://onehundreddaysofgiving.blogspot.com/p/giving-journala-gift-for-you.html

Interlude - Just Give Today

Today marks the half-way point in 100 days of giving and I am going to break from tradition and instead of telling you stories about the impact or the history of a gift I would like to challenge you to just do something today to help someone else. Give of yourself, give friendship, give time - please!

So many people I know are going through very difficult and challenging times, cancer, illness, job loss, tragedy, grief and I am sure you do too. Let's take some time today to help someone you know who just needs a friend, a meal, a surprise token of your friendship. Make someone's day.

Day 50 ❦ Give just because

Day 50 ❦ Give just because

The Gift: A $20 bill

I don’t know about you, but it seems to me as if my kids are AWAYS asking for money...and I am always in a situation where I am asking, “How much do you need?, or What do you need money for?” Those regular interactions don’t feel very life-affirming and so today I thought I would attempt a pre-emptive strike and walked up to my youngest daughter and handed her a $20 dollar bill...just because... It was a fun thing to do!

❦ Give just because

Day 49 ❦ Give to yourself the company of others

Day 49 ❦ Give to yourself the company of others

The Gift: A Lunch Date

Sometimes we all get so busy, that it is easy to forget to sit down and enjoy a leisurely meal with a friend or family member. In this case, I am fortunate that my sister-in-law...actually all of my sisters in law, are good fiends of mine. My brother’s wife was my friend before they met and my husband’s sisters have always welcomed me into the family, but his youngest sister, has always been especially close. We are close in age and graduated from high school the same year - so we have that in common. We both care deeply for her brother, my husband - but we are alike in so many other ways too. I always enjoy spending time with her and realized today that we hadn’t sat down for a meal with each other - just the two of - for al long as I could remember. So, I called her up and asked her to go on a lunch date, just her and me...my treat. We laughed, ate and said “schmackidy” at least four times. What a gift.

 ❦ Give to yourself the company of others

Day 48 ❦ Simple gifts...big appreciation

Day 48 ❦ Simple gifts...big appreciation

The Gift: Kitchen scissors

My family probably spends more time in the kitchen than anywhere else in the house. We love to cook, interact while cooking and we especially love to eat and entertain around food. The funny part about that is that I have a kitchen the size of a postage stamp. The first thing that most first-time visitors to my home say is...how do you cook the things that you do in a kitchen this size? Usually the second thing that we are asked is about our one bathroom, but that is a story for another day.

Once you have seen a meal in process in the kitchen you will get it, but until you experience the efficiency that comes from cooking elaborate meals in a 10 x 10 kitchen, it is difficult to imagine. Everything has its place, and much like a finely choreographed ballet, every movement is coordinated. If we have visitors in the kitchen while a meal dance is going on, we have several stools where they can perch out of the way of the dancers and their tools.

It is during one of these dances, while preparing a several course meal with my husband that the request for this gift is issued...barked really. Even though everything has its place, we are missing a few key kitchen tools and I just have not ever thought about adding them...kitchen scissors being one of them.

Part of my kitchen dance almost always includes a scene with the large serrated bread knife slicing open some plastic packaging with a grand finale and bow if I don’t cut myself in the process. I have practiced this dance frequently...newbies to the kitchen dance have not had that same luxury...and today, as my husband and I dance around the kitchen, he slices open his finger while attempting to use the large serrated bread knife to open a plastic container. I won’t repeat what he said, but it sounded a lot like...”honey, I would sure love it if you would buy me kitchen scissors.”

I don’t know why I don’t have kitchen scissors in my house - it is just something I actually never thought of until he asked for this gift and so you can imagine my delight when while shopping today I noticed a display for kitchen scissors. Gifting opportunity done. I wrapped them up and presented this special gift to my husband who has taken the opportunity to use that gift every single day since then.


❦ Simple gifts can bring with them big appreciation

Day 47 ❦ Give and regain a sense of “normalcy”

Day 47 ❦ Give and regain a sense of “normalcy”

The Gift: All of the change in the bottom of my purse dumped into the March of Dimes container

It has been several days since I have written about the aftermath of the floods and the damage that we are seeing as the flood waters recede. Everywhere in town, there are piles of household goods, furniture, yard waste, carpets, drywall - everything and anything. The piles are being cleaned up daily, but they reemerge the next day. This weekend there will be a focused volunteer effort on cleaning homes and people are arriving from all over the midwest. It will be quite a sight and certainly a welcome relief - fatigue is thick in the air.

We are all tired especially knowing how much more there is to do before the weather turns very cold and it becomes even more difficult to do relief work. My husband has been spending hours with people who have lost everything and providing counseling to some of the relief workers too. While the flood waters covered the area it was easier to comprehend that we were under a state of emergency, but now as people can move around town and debris is removed, it is becoming more and more difficult to remember the devastation, yet the fatigue remains, the grief is beginning and there is much work yet to be done.

I am finding myself clinging onto anything that resembles “normalcy” and so when I am standing in line at the grocery store and I see the March of Dimes donation box I smile, thinking back to a time that seems so long ago now, when Shannon asked the clerk about what the March of Dimes was and she so gladly gave. It seems so normal to dump out my purse and put all of the change from the bottom into the donation box.

❦ Give and regain a sense of “normalcy

Day 46 ❦ Bring others closer by sharing gifts and memories

Day 46 ❦ Bring others closer by sharing gifts and memories

The Gift: Leather coasters from Argentina

I have had the opportunity to travel to some pretty fantastic places because of people that I have met through Rotary. I have already shared a little about the huge impact that youth exchange students have had on my family...their courage, optimism and openness to share themselves with the world...is humbling and awesome at the same time.

If you can imagine, a 15 - 18 year old child travels to another country, leaving behind their friends, family and everything that is familiar to themselves. They live with host families on whom they have to rely for their basic needs...but most importantly, they have to learn to rely and trust themselves in a way that most teenagers do not. The changes in youth exchange students are incredible to watch. We have had the chance to both host students and send our family members out-bound on exchange. Our oldest daughter went to France as a youth exchange student and was there during the attacks on the United States on September 11th . Our nephew went to Argentina as a 15 year old and that decision changed not only his life, but ours as well.

Toward the end of his year in Argentina our nephew Les and his host family invited me to come visit and I jumped on the invitation. There is nothing like visiting a country where you know the locals, where people are willing to show you their country from their own eyes and invite you into their lives...and the Vera Family did just that. I spent 3 weeks in Argentina and the Vera Family treated my like royalty, and probably more importantly, like family. We laughed, shared stories, cried, ate, celebrated and grew close despite the language challenges. My family grew as a result of my stay there and to my delight, they chose to send one of their sons, Facundo to the United States, to Minnesota as an exchange student.

Facundo fit right into our family and we loved hosting him, however, the Rotary exchange program requires students to move to several host families during their year. Although it is always hard to say goodbye to a student with whom you have bonded, the concept of rotating host families gives students an opportunity to interact with a variety of families which is really important to develop international understanding. But say goodbye we did and many tears were shed when we had to move Facundo to his next host family the Dalagers. Even though he was still in our town, actually, only one mile away, he was now going to be hanging out with a different family and immediately our house grew quiet.

Those first few days after a move are really hard on everyone, but we know from experience that we will all survive - that does not make things easier, it just prepares us for the time in the near future when our student leaves permanently to return to their native country...and oh, the tears that are shed then are awful.

Tonight we have been invited to a welcome party at the home of one of Facundo’s host families for the new Rotary exchange student who is from Norway. Facundo is gone...back to his home, his family in Argentina and we still miss him very much, he was very special and now he is back with his other family. I decide to bring a set of leather coasters I picked up while in Argentina and give them to the Dalagers so that we can commiserate, share our sadness, share our stories and in that remembrance become a little closer and warm our hearts with memories. And, as we warm our hearts we create space to begin to make new memories, share new experiences and open our hearts for our newest student who we welcome tonight.

❦ Bring others closer by sharing gifts and memories

Interlude - Support Street Girls Aid

Today you have an opportunity to purchase a gift that will have many layers of giving opportunities...

Please consider ordering some beautifully made items from the girls at Street Girls Aid in Accra, Ghana - your gift will create so many opportunities for girls to develop economic sustainability and you will end up with a gift that others will enjoy too!

Please go to this link and order your goods today!



http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2440410872275813627#editor/target=page;pageID=1583046055758589586

Day 45 ❦ And...give again...

Day 45 ❦ And...give again...

The gift: An African necklace

I am certainly getting a lot of giving mileage with the African jewelry I brought back from Ghana, Togo and Benin and today I am going to continue that trend...

The other night I gave Sevy a beautiful African beaded bracelet for helping with book group and it just looks striking on her. She is from Bulgaria and has that same dark olive skin that I have that lends itself well to wearing certain colors and jewelry. Sevy comes from a family that has very little and did not grow up with an expectation of having material items. Living in Bulgaria post Russia she shared a communal bathroom with the other tenants of her apartment building and her family ate out of one bowl at meal time.

There are always cultural transition stories that we have to tell about the first time this happened or when that happened with students - such as our student from Paraguay who took cold showers for weeks because she didn’t know how to turn the hot water on and had only had cold showers in her native home, or our student from Denmark who cried when we told her she would have to make her bed...realizing later that she actually thought she would have to use wood, hammer and nails to “make her bed”, as opposed to dressing her bed in the morning. Sevy presented some of those stories too, for example in Bulgaria shaking your head up and down means no and shaking your head from side to side means yes...but her first cultural issue happened at her first meal with her first host family.

As dinner was served, Sevy picked up the serving bowl and began eating out of it. Fortunately her host family was very experienced and realized that this was something they were going to have to get to the bottom of carefully...and quickly...and as they were working this out with her, they learned that her family had no plates or bowls for individual servings and that they all ate out of one communal bowl because that is all they had.

Now I am telling you this story because it is not often that we in the United States have children in our lives who have so little that they are sharing a bathroom with hundreds, or share one serving bowl with their entire family. This is the life that Sevy came from. Receiving a bracelet was a huge gift and the pride with which she wore it was so moving that I decided to gift her with the matching necklace. Her delight in being gifted was fun to witness.

 ❦ And...give again...

Day 44 ❦ Give again!

Day 44 ❦ Give again!

The Gift: 6 African bracelets

Last night we had book group and I gave two beautiful African bracelets to my daughter and exchange student for helping cook the meal. When they opened their gifts and the girls from the book group saw them, there was a collective ohh and ahh that made me feel a little bad that I hadn’t thought to bring one for each of them...but instead, thinking of that experience has given me the giving opportunity for today.

I wrapped up 6 African bracelets and deliver them to all of the girls from book group and to my delight, they ohhhed and ahhhed all over again! It was super fun!

❦ Give again!

Day 43 ❦ Give thankfully

Day 43 ❦ Give thankfully

The Gift: African bracelets

Life begins to get back to whatever the new normal is going to look like, for those of us not greatly impacted by the floods, it takes on a day to day feeling of normalness with an underpinning of sadness. The loss and devastation is everywhere in town - cars pushed through the flood waters sit in fields and storage sheds and furniture are caught in shrubbery and deposited alongside the banks of the flood waters in very weird places. It is not unusual to see a roof or door hanging from a tree. The entire area impacted by the floods is covered in a brown mucky mud.

I am going to return to normal tonight and am looking forward to the distraction of my book club meeting tonight. We are a book group that “reads to eat” and we usually pick titles that tie into some delicious food offerings. Tonight’s book is the DaVinci Code and we will have a special guest cook - my daughter who lived in France for a year will be making a few French delicacies for us.  Along with Alison, one of our exchange students who is visiting for the summer will be helping her cook.

Our book group is a friendly group - we have very few rules and we laugh a lot. It is always something for me to look forward to and after the events of the last few days, I need to let loose and laugh...which I do. After the meal, Alison and Sevy bring out the creme brule which they have just whipped up for dessert and which required their presence at book group. As a thank you I give each of them an African bracelet. A good time was had by all...and for a moment...life returned to normal.

❦ Give thankfully

Day 42 ❦ Time can be a valuable gift

Day 42 ❦ Time can be a valuable gift

The Gift: Time, time, time

There is a sense of surrealness that begins to take over the community. It is palpable as you drive around town, there are many homes and people whose lives were only minorly inconvenienced by the flood and then there are a huge number of people whose lives will never be the same. During this “in-between” time (the time between the devastation and being able to help) those of us who still have homes and whose lives are close to normal again just try to pick up and continue on where we left off. Perhaps we have someone staying with us, or perhaps we are garnering the support for the monumental work that will be ahead of us once the water recedes and we can finally go in and begin helping, but for all intents and purposes, life comes back to normal when the electricity is restored.

For me the electricity came back on last night and so we started the process of cleaning everything out of our refrigerator and throwing stuff from the freezer. There wasn’t much left since I had used most of my back-up stores to cook for the multitude of guests over the past few days. In addition to my husband working non-stop for the Red Cross doing counseling, the other relief effort we are coordinating is the huge number of Rotarians who have called to offer their assistance.

In fact, one of the first calls I received was from the current chair of the World Community Service Committee which oversees grants, and Lee tells me that the leadership of the District got together and would like to see me write a grant to support the flood victims...so I add that to my “to-do” list since it is too early to think about that, but we are also coordinating Rotarians along with other volunteers around the region who are being organized to come here in two weeks to begin cleaning brigades. Our group will be organized out of a nearby church and so any Rotarian who is interested in coming to help is connecting with me and I am co-ordinating their visit - they need to bring a list of things to use to clean, ensure that they have their Tetanus shot up to date and be wearing specific clothing so that they don’t injure themselves. As of today (3 days after the flood began) I have 60 Rotarians on the list so far of people who are joining in a massive effort to clean 500 properties.

The Red Cross is expert at the overall organization of these efforts and give us all a lot of guidance about how to assist in a meaningful manner. It is very interesting and informative to witness. Very impressive really. Helping to coordinate this part of the relief effort gives me a lot of relief and makes me feel like I am actually doing something. Today again, giving my gift of time gives me a lot of relief.

❦ Time can be a valuable gift

An Interlude ❦ Today’s gift...breathe

An Interlude ❦ Today’s gift...breathe

I have been taking interludes on the weekends to give the weekly giving exercises a chance to breath and for readers to take the time needed to create and experience your own giving opportunities. But because of the place in the sequencing of the story of the flood, I decided to continue posting through the weekend and now take a moment to pause for that much needed interlude.

Today’s interlude is about the gift of breathing. Besides the obvious benefits of breathing...when I find myself dropping into the darkness, or just getting frustrated with anything...I remind myself to breathe. I have cheat sheets all over my home and office and have attached a picture of one that looks over my desk in my office...breathe...take care of yourself. Today take some time to reflect, take care of yourself and just breathe.

If you would like to do some reading while breathing, here are the top posts from this month:

• Be childlike in your giving...it will make you smile!

http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2440410872275813627#editor/target=post;postID=2894182321352373015

• Set a standard of giving...

http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2440410872275813627#editor/target=post;postID=3939275137677760684

• Just give something...

http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2440410872275813627#editor/target=post;postID=3286052917284436057

❦ Today’s gift...breathe

Day 41 ❦ A community bonds through giving of themselves

Day 41 ❦ A community bonds through giving of themselves

The Gift: Time

This morning we wake up to an eerie silence marred only by the sounds of generators echoing throughout the town...and of course, the helicopters. We have made the national news and my phone is ringing off the hook. Although the electricity has been cut and the entire town is cloaked in darkness, I still have a phone that functions because I have an old-fashioned land line for just this occasion. Most of the newer phones are cordless and when the electricity goes out - so does the phone service. Not here, not today and my phone is ringing off the hook. We have no television and although I have a radio - I have no pictures. It is nearly impossible to get around town and since I have a front row seat to the flooding here, I have only a small glimpse of what is really happening - days later when I see some of the photos, I am speechless. My phone is ringing off the hook with friends and family calling from all over the world to check in on us,  asking how they can help. We all feel so helpless because there is nothing we can do at the moment except prepare ourselves for the work ahead, and, to give of our time to support those who have lost everything...we need to just listen.

My husband is a mental health responder for Red Cross and he gets called in to work first thing in the morning - he ended up taking several weeks off of work because there was no way to get there from here, so he jumped right in volunteering for the Red Cross and started working as one of a team in a mobile van that traveled around to assess, and support those impacted.

We would learn later that 283 houses and 84 businesses were destroyed and at least 2 people had died, estimates of the damage aren’t even being talked about because the water is continuing to rise, albeit slower. When the water crests today the Cedar River hit record crest levels of 23.4 feet and the Turtle Creek crested at 14 feet. Main Street is at least 5 feet underwater and access to the hospital has been cut off for most of the community.

There is absolutely no damage to my home, however survivor guilt is beginning to sink in as the people whose homes are completely underwater on the other side of the street are coming to my yard and just staring at the devastation. And as their losses sink in, they want to process, talk to anyone, everyone and here I am. I have my cookstove running full-time right now making coffee and set up all of the lawn chairs I have on my yard.  I sit outside all day sharing coffee and listening to stories as people process the magnitude of the force that is Mother Nature.

❦ A community bonds through giving of themselves

Day 40 ❦ Give everything you can

Day 40 ❦ Give everything you can

The Gift: My home, meals for rescue workers, life jackets everything and anything

Today presented so many unexpected giving opportunities, that I will be writing about this event, about the aftermath of this day for months...even now, when the rains come to the north of us and the rivers begin to rise, anxiety returns - collectively.

Over the course of the last 13 hours, 18 inches of rain fell in areas north of our town and although we all woke up to rain and wet, were oblivious to the devastation about to hit. I was absolutely frustrated as I listened to the radio this morning only to learn that school was cancelled...really??? Because of some rain? This is September when we should have months to go before we face a “no school day” and that just sets my day off - what am I going to do with my kids all day while I worked? Arghh...although now in retrospect, not only did the school cancellations result in children being home instead of being stranded at schools for days, but it also raised a little flag in my head....hmmm...

Day 39 ❦ Give hope with your gift today

Day 39 ❦ Give hope with your gift today

The Gift: A donation to the American Cancer Society’s Relay For Life

One more day until all hell breaks loose here...literally. It has been raining off and on and there is talk about the rains up north, but we continue to go about our day, still on edge but, because it is raining up North, actually thinking that perhaps the worst has passed us by...again. Austin resides in a big bowl like depression where 4 rivers converge. Those rivers are a big part of our history, George A. Hormel started the Hormel Foods Company in Austin because there was a very good source of ice to use to keep his meat products refrigerated...for those of you who have always known a refrigerator, ice boxes preceded those and the ice was actually harvested from the rivers and stored in large ice houses. The Cedar River produces the water, the northern climate of Minnesota produces the cold and the shallow out-cropping of Mill Pond creates a perfect place for ice to be made, harvested easily and stored locally.

Despite the rain, the American Cancer Society is going to hold its 24 hour Relay for Life down by Mill Pond which is getting really soggy. Campers and tents are sprouting up along with umbrellas, tarps and the big mobile bandshell all preparing for an overnight endurance event. The Relay for Life is a major fund-raiser for cancer research in this community. The organizer, Linda, is passionate, persistent and is the epitome of a leader. Linda is so quiet but moves mountains and really ends up creating a spectacular and moving event. This year’s event will raise over $42,000 for the American Cancer Society and I am a part of that.

I have given one of my sister’s-in-law a donation for her family team which is walking in the relay for the next 24 hours because her niece Hannah is battling her second round of cancer at 14 years of age. The family has a team and is walking in the relay as a means of supporting Hannah who is also the spokesperson for this year’s event. Just writing this tears me up. Hannah is such a beautiful and caring girl and her family is dead set on fighting right along-side her in her battles with her cancer. My sister-in-law comes from a large caring family and I can’t imagine any other group of people better suited to rally and fight together to beat cancer in such a wonderful little girl. I am proud to be supporting their team today.

❦ Give hope with your gift today.

Author’s note: (8 years later) Hannah just got married a few weekends ago surrounded by the love and care of her family that continues to sustain her.

Day 38 ❦ Giving can create a sense of relief

Day 38 ❦ Giving can create a sense of relief

The Gift: Information/A reference/An idea

As the storm begins to brew in Austin and storm chasers take hold in the parks and rest stops along Interstates 90 and 35 I am aware of the tension in town. It is palatable and none of us really knows what it means so we continue to go about our regular business but with a little bit of an edge to everything. It is difficult to describe what the atmosphere, literally and figuratively, feels like when a storm is brewing but can best be described as electric; people become short with one another for no reason, hyper vigilance kicks in and there is a constant state of alertness that burns a lot of adrenaline and creates a simmering state of aggression. The air is thick with tension.

Usually after a major storm hits it makes sense and there is a collective sign of relief that says, okay, now we know what we are dealing with so let’s roll up our sleeves and just get it done...but until that storm hits, the anxiety of the unknown is filled with tension. So the storm brews and we continue to go about our regular activities with a little bit of an edge.

Today I woke up on edge, I have now been working on reduced hours for several months and the financial impact of my decision is beginning to hit. Although the giving exercise has helped to lift my mood, and has increased the giving that I have received, it has not helped my pocketbook very much so today I am going to intentionally seek a project. Now for those of you who know me - you already know how difficult it is to describe what I do because it feels like I am a jack of all trades - it seems as though most everything I do I succeed at (that sentence was written by someone who has been living in the mid-west too long!. Oftentimes I have considered myself a “female Forest Gump” but in my mind I really think about myself as an information broker - I connect people with resources, I connect needs with supporters, I connect problems with solutions, I broker relationships and information.

Now all of those skills come in handy as a grant writer because it really takes an array of skills, knowledge and information to write a successful grant, which I happen to do well. As a result I get pegged into a hole as “a grant writer”. I have written over $15 million dollars in successful grants, and although I have not included most of those as high on my list of accomplishments, those who were recipients of those grants, often really appreciate what I do.

One of my failings is that because many things come easy to me, it appears from the outside that the magic that I work is easy. I do believe that if I can do something, anyone else can, but also know that what someone may have to do to reach the level of accomplishment that I have may take work. Most people (with the exception of my family) have no idea how hard I actually do work. But I digress, writing grants is hard work and a lot of that work goes on in my head. I find myself when in the middle of a writing project having to say to myself, “people can’t hear what is in your head - you have to get it down on paper.” And then I sit and spew words and numbers and a grant is born. So what does this have to do with the giving opportunity today?

Today I wrote a grant for someone because they came to me and asked me for help and I freely gave it with the clear understanding that they had no money to pay me. It is unethical for a grant-writer to write on speculation (receiving a portion of the proceeds if the grant is awarded) and it is discouraged to write grants for free (that undermines the profession of grant-writers), however, even lawyers and accountants do some pro-bono work, so today I am considering this task a pro-bono project and counting the 18 hours I spent on the project as my giving opportunity. Writing the grant helped to relieve the tension that is building so even though I did not find a paying project today, I did get some relief and was able to give in a very meaningful manner.

❦ Giving can create a sense of relief

Day 37 ❦ Giving can lift the blahness

Day 37 ❦ Giving can lift the blahness

The Gift: A cash donation to the Humane Society

After so many philosophical gifts over the past few weeks, today I  “cashed out”. It was so sad to see my friends leave to go back home to Baltimore, there is a lull in the summer action (or at least there was today...little did I know what Mother Nature had in store for Austin in a few days...and all of the giving opportunities that awaited) and I was mired in a state of blahness. Now, I know that is not a word and I am also aware that throughout this journal, I have made up several words...or at least I have had to add a bunch of words to my computer’s vast vocabulary, but the word blahness as in “being in a state of” just fits for today.

Going to the grocery store, which is usually one of my favorite activities, feels grey, the drive home is uneventful and the house is so quiet...I am surrounded by blahness. When I play Scrabble with my sister-in-law, when we make up a word it stays on the board if we can use the word in a sentence and then describe what the word means...therefore, under those rules, I now declare “blahness” a word which in the worst case scenario in Scrabble will net me 13 points. I am surrounded by blahness and really struggling to even think about giving...but here I am persevering in this exercise of giving every day.

So imagine my delight when a knock at the door reveals a few neighborhood children soliciting pledges for a walk this weekend for the Humane Society...yeah! Instead of pledging, I give them an outright cash gift (because a pledge wouldn’t count until the gift had actually left my hands) and the blahness lifted. Just like that - it felt like magic - I gave and the blahness lifted!

❦ Giving can lift the blahness.

Authors note: Since I officially used my new word blahness 8 times in this post I was able to declare it a word and successfully used it during a recent Scrabble game for 54 points.